Ульяна Солнечная – Whole: from losing yourself to loving yourself (страница 6)

I discuss numerology in more detail in the last chapter.

Mathematics. Work

I have a higher mathematical education—I am a Master of Mathematics, a teacher of mathematics and informatics. And it was this logical, structured, and in some ways strict and dry scientific foundation that later became the ground on which all my transformations, practices, spiritual insights, inner discoveries, and unexpected turns of destiny were laid.

Mathematics taught me to structure, to think systematically, to analyze.

Life taught me to feel, to experience, to release, to see beyond the rational.

Inside me, two forces intertwined—mind and heart, numbers and soul, formulas and energy. And it is on this synthesis—the scientific and the intuitive, the logical and the metaphysical—that my path, my philosophy, and my book are built.

My path began far from easy.

I was born in a village.

My family lived simply.

My parents worked constantly just to survive; they achieved everything in life on their own; they built a house; they fed and clothed my brother and me; they gave us a school and a university education. There were very difficult times for our family.

Early mornings; daily help with the house, the garden, the poultry, the cattle; school; a life without excess; limitations; my father’s strictness—all of this forged an inner backbone within me.

During my student years, I helped my father sell milk bought from the farm at the city market, and I also worked part-time in a shop and a factory. I learned the value of hard work early.

And at the same time—I began to dream of more.

At university, I received two scholarships—an academic and a social one—and inside me one thought played on repeat:

“Soon I will start earning. Soon I will break through. Soon I will grow.”

I wasn’t thinking about relationships or romance then—they happened on their own, early, at 18. But my priority was different: to prove to myself that I could, that I would manage, that I would succeed.

In my fifth year of university, a professor of mathematical analysis—a candidate of pedagogical sciences—noticed me. She invited me to work in the scientific department of the university. I didn’t hesitate. I agreed. It was my first serious professional challenge.

I entered my master’s program, continued working at the university, and at the same time began teaching first-year students.

But perhaps the most transformative experience was this: in my fifth year, I went to teach mathematics and physics at a boarding school for children with special developmental needs. It was my first real contact with psychology, with the unique world of children society often rejects, ignores, or fears.

It was incredibly difficult, deep, emotional.

And no—I am not telling this so anyone will pity me.

I am telling it to show that we can get through anything.

We are the primary architects of our own destinies.

We can rise, grow, transform, and build ourselves into anything we choose.

Nothing is impossible.

You can be a village girl carrying a bucket of milk, and later—a master of sciences, a teacher, a spiritual guide, a woman with a mission.

You can be a factory shop assistant and later—speak to women in the language of the heart and change lives.

You can grow out of any conditions if within you there is desire, fire, and a drop of faith that you deserve more.

And I hope my path, with all its twists and turns, becomes not just a story but proof that your story can become inspiring too.

As a teacher, I know very well: in any classroom, any group, any space, there are those who leap ahead—absorbing, opening, expanding. And there are those who struggle, who still carry old programs, who are afraid to release the old self, or whose time simply hasn’t come yet. This is completely normal.

Some are just waking up.

And some are already at the level where they themselves become carriers of knowledge.

If you feel that you are already a teacher, already a master, already ready to share—then you are here not by accident. This space is for you as well.

And nothing brings me more joy than seeing the spark in the eyes of those who walk with me—those who suddenly begin to feel, to understand, to change, to see results.

My path has been diverse, intense, and at times astonishing even to me.

For nearly nine years I worked as a school teacher, taught classes, guided students, taught children to think, to see connections, to search for answers. Then I became the deputy director of a school—where I first realized that the administrative level requires a different type of strength, a deeper resilience.

Later I worked as a project manager at a university, then as an assistant director in a major holding company.

Life constantly tested me—throwing me into different roles and positions.

I was a model.

Yes, I collaborated with Russian brands. I learned to see myself through a camera, to hold posture, to speak with my eyes rather than words.

I was a homemaker—what today is fashionably called “living at someone’s expense.”

It was a stage where I had everything externally—but inside there was emptiness. And I look back on that time with respect and gratitude, because it became one of the turning points when I understood that I wanted to be not only beautiful, but strong, deep, independent.

I opened my first project—an online jewelry boutique. It paid off in a month. It was successful. I could have continued.

But I closed it. Why?

Because I felt that my energy was not there.

And I do not regret it for a second.

Because it was a step toward myself.

Every role, every profession, every place life sent me—was an important fragment of my mosaic. And now I see: none of it was accidental. It all led me to who I am becoming today.

If you are on your path now, if you don’t understand what is happening to you, if you cannot connect all your scattered experiences into a whole—just trust: it will come together. One day you will look back too and say:

Now I understand. I needed all of this.

All of this is part of me.

And until that moment comes—let’s walk together.

I’m here with you.

Relationships

The path to who I am today—a woman living through her heart—was not paved with smooth tiles. It wasn’t a road of a single step or a random turn. These were entire cycles of life, guiding me, transforming me, polishing me. Each of them seemed to unfold a new depth within me, and together they form my unique story, full of strength, pain, insights, and endless love for life.

At first, it was unconscious. I was simply living, simply being myself. And even then, people around me could feel that something within me sparked, something inspired. I would hear: “You are like light. Being near you makes me want to believe. You change my thinking just by being here.” I began to notice that I truly affected the space, that I changed it. But at that time, I didn’t think of it as a calling. I simply spoke, felt, lived—and it worked.

One of the most significant sources of my strength was my relationships with men. I have experience—not just of beautiful romances, but of long, deep, mature relationships with men who were successful, wise, generous—both inwardly and outwardly. This was not coincidence, nor luck. It’s not “getting lucky with a man.” This is the path of feminine maturity, inner value, subtle self-awareness, and understanding of male psychology. Feminine energy that doesn’t cling, doesn’t beg, doesn’t prove itself—but simply exists. And it is precisely this energy that attracts the most worthy people into your life.

These men were not only strong personalities but were surrounded by equally accomplished people: their families, friends, partners—a whole layer of confident, realized people. And I did not receive this “on a silver platter.” It was the result of my choice, my growth, my strength, my femininity, my fearlessness, and… my meditations. Yes, I literally meditated on the relationships of my dreams.

Once, I was walking through summer Moscow with a friend. It was a magical stroll. We chatted, laughed, shared our desires, and began dreaming out loud, visualizing in intricate detail. At one point, I said clearly: “On October 15, my man and I will have dinner by the ocean. It will be romantic, deep, real.” You know, when you say something from your body, from your heart—it’s not fantasy. It’s a message to the Universe. And it works.

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