Sylvia Andrew – The Bridegroom's Bargain (страница 8)

The sound of laughter nearby brought her suddenly and cruelly to her senses. Full of horrified shame, she wrenched herself out of Richard’s arms and tried to escape, but her legs refused to carry her more than a step or two. She stood with her back towards him, fighting for control.

‘Alexandra—’

‘Be quiet! Don’t say a word!’

‘I must! I had no right—’ He stopped, then began again. ‘This isn’t the time or the place—’ He stopped again and gave a little laugh. ‘At least you know I don’t regard you as a child any more,’ he said ruefully.

No word of love, nothing to show he had been as affected as she had been by what had happened. He was probably well used to such encounters. But what could he be thinking of her? Lexi swallowed. ‘No,’ she said stiffly. ‘I’m no longer a child. And I should never have behaved as I did, least of all with you. Shall we go back to my godmother?’

Richard looked at her searchingly. ‘Are you all right?’

‘Of course I am,’ she said with a brittle laugh. ‘Ashamed, perhaps, but otherwise unharmed.’

‘I’m sorry, Alexandra.’ He stopped and shook his head. Then he said decisively, ‘It won’t happen again.’

Still nothing that she wanted to hear. The pain in her heart was growing by the minute, but pride came to her aid. Concealing her bitter disappointment, she said as lightly as she could, ‘Even old friends can get carried away, can’t they, Richard? Perhaps the world is right after all to disapprove of my spending time alone with you. And now please take me back to Lady Wroxford.’

They went back, and for the rest of the evening he behaved impeccably, not ignoring her exactly, but not singling her out for any particular attention either. No one could have guessed from his demeanour that for a few breathtaking moments such a short while before he had taken Lexi to Paradise and back.

In the days that followed Richard remained just as distant. Lexi was left confused and even somewhat angry. Did he think she was in the habit of allowing men to take her to such a secluded situation, to hold her so closely, to kiss her? Was this what he thought of her? The sole excuse for her disgraceful conduct was her love for Richard Deverell, but it was clear that there was no such reason for the way he had acted. He had not even claimed to love her. Perhaps he had found her earlier coolness towards him a challenge? For whatever reason, he had behaved in a manner she would never have believed possible. Had his time in the Army made him cynical?

She hid her sore heart and bruised pride and sought consolation in the company of other, less complicated, admirers. During the last weeks of the Season no one was as gay, as apparently carefree, as Miss Alexandra Rawdon. One young man refused to listen to her when she assured him she was not interested in his offer of marriage. He was so persistent and so obviously eligible that London began to speculate whether Miss Rawdon would finally succumb. When she assured her godmother that there was no question of it, Lady Wroxford grew really angry with her.

‘Mr Transden has everything to recommend him to the most demanding young lady, Lexi. He may not have a title, but his family is a distinguished one. Moreover, he is comparatively young, in good health, and enormously wealthy. And devoted to you! What more can you possibly ask for?’

‘I don’t love him,’ said Lexi.

‘Love? Pshaw! I have never approved of gambling, and marrying for love is the greatest gamble of them all! Marry for comfort, girl. You can fall in love later, if you want to—after you’ve given your husband an heir or two.’ When Lexi remained silent Lady Wroxford shook her head. ‘I might as well talk to that table leg for all the attention you will pay me, I know. It’s that “old family friend” of yours, isn’t it? You’re in love with Richard Deverell.’

‘Is it so obvious?’

‘Not at all! Your behaviour towards him has been admirably discreet.’ Lexi had a sudden vision of herself in Richard’s arms at Vauxhall and her colour rose. Little did her godmother know! Lady Wroxford went on, ‘But I have no idea what he feels about you—or anyone else. That’s a man who keeps his own counsel, Lexi. No one would guess from his recent demeanour that his father is not expected to live much longer.’

‘Lord Deverell ill? Are you sure?’ asked Lexi in astonishment. ‘I hadn’t heard anything of that, and I’ll swear Johnny doesn’t know either.’

‘Mrs Shackleton told me—she had it from Honoria Standish, who is some kind of relation. It’s a very odd situation. Apparently Lord Deverell refuses to see anyone, even his own son. What sort of father is that?’

‘There was never much affection between them, ma’am. Lord Deverell has persistently ignored his son’s existence. That is why Richard has been so much part of my…of our family.’

‘I see. It might also explain Mr Deverell’s marked air of detachment…’

Afterwards Lexi found that she was badly hurt by Richard’s silence. They had had few private moments since that scene at Vauxhall, but if he had wanted to, he could surely have found the time to tell her about his father.

However, the next day he called to take his leave of Lady Wroxford and her goddaughter. Lord Deverell had sent for him at last, and Richard was leaving London more or less straight away. He would probably not return before the end of the Season. Lady Wroxford expressed her concern and wished him a safe journey. Then she threw a quick glance at Lexi, and took pity on her.

‘I think my goddaughter might well have some messages you could carry to Somerset for her,’ she said, with a smile. ‘You’ll excuse me, I’m sure, if I leave her to give them to you. Goodbye, Mr Deverell.’

After she had left the room there was a short, difficult silence. Then Lexi broke it with a touch of her old impulsive style. ‘Did Johnny know about your father’s illness, Richard? Or did you keep it from him, too?’

‘I didn’t tell anyone.’

‘Why not? I thought Johnny was your best friend. I thought you and I were friends, too.’

Richard heard the hurt anger in her voice and said quickly, ‘Of course you are! You Rawdons are the only real family I’ve known.’ He frowned. ‘I’m sorry. I suppose I should have explained, but it’s a painful subject… I don’t find it easy to talk about it.’

‘Not even to us?’

‘Not even to you, Alexandra. You must have realised long ago that my father rejected me almost as soon as I was born. That’s no secret. We have always been strangers to each other. His illness was not serious at first, and though it was regrettable it was not important to me. But it now looks as if he might die. Have you any idea what that would mean?’

His bitter tone puzzled Lexi. ‘You inherit the title?’ she said uncertainly.

‘There’s much more to it than that. In spite of all the evidence, I’ve hoped all my life my father would one day finally accept me, that he might even show me a little affection. Stupid of me, I know.’ He raised his eyes, and they were for once unguarded. The pain in them made Lexi gasp. He looked away immediately. ‘If he dies now, any hope I might once have cherished about getting to know him will be lost forever…’

‘Richard…’ Quite forgetting her own feelings, Lexi went to him and put her hand on his arm. He looked down at it, but made no move to take it.

‘Then there’s the question of my future,’ he went on.

‘How?’

‘The Deverell estates are not entailed. My father is free to leave Channings and everything else he owns to anyone he chooses. The only certain income I have comes from what my mother left me.’

‘No! He couldn’t cut you out of your inheritance! It wouldn’t be right! You love Channings even more than he does!’

Richard said wearily, ‘He resents my very existence. How do I know what he might or might not do?’

‘But you haven’t done anything to justify such a terrible thing!’

‘Except to be born. To survive, when my mother didn’t.’

Lexi’s heart twisted at the bitterness in Richard’s voice. But she rallied and said passionately, ‘I don’t believe for one moment that Lord Deverell will cut you out of his will! He must at least be aware of what he owes to his name, if not to you personally. Channings would never survive without you! No, Richard, you must not even think it! And there’s still time for him to make some gesture towards you.’

‘A deathbed reconciliation? Most unlikely. But I’ll try. Alexandra, I’m sorry if I hurt you. Will you forgive me? We’ve always been friends. I wouldn’t want to lose you.’

‘Friends?’ She gave a wry smile. ‘Always, Richard. Forever.’

The Season came to an end and Lexi thanked her godmother and went back to Somerset. Lady Wroxford was reluctant to let her go.

‘I’ve enjoyed your company, my dear,’ she said. ‘Johnny is all Rawdon, but you… You may have the Rawdon hair, but you have the same lovely eyes as your dear mother. And you are like her in so many other ways.’ She hesitated. ‘I’m sorry I couldn’t find a husband to please you. I had great hopes for you when you came.’

‘Ma’am, please don’t blame yourself. No one could have been kinder or more concerned. But my heart was given away before I really knew I had one. There will never be anyone else for me.’