Sylvia Andrew – The Bridegroom's Bargain (страница 10)

‘I know I’m stupid,’ she replied, trying to wipe away the tears with her hand. ‘You and Johnny came back unharmed from Spain. It’s just…it’s just that Papa and I had hoped the wars were ended, and that Johnny would soon be at home for good. Papa is getting old and…and needs him.’ She scrubbed more vigorously as another tear rolled down her cheek.

‘Here, let me do that!’

He took out an immaculate handkerchief and, taking her chin in his hand, wiped her cheek. He finished, but the hand stayed under her chin, and he gazed at her intently. ‘And what about me, Alexandra?’ he asked softly. ‘Do you need me?’

She couldn’t stop herself. Looking at him with her heart in her eyes, she said simply, ‘More than my life.’

He drew a sharp breath. His lips barely moving, he said softly, ‘Do you remember asking me once if I wanted to kiss you, here at this stile?’

‘You said you didn’t.’

‘I lied to you. I wanted to all right, but you were too young. I had to wait. And then I kissed you at Vauxhall, and you were so angry… The kiss was everything I had dreamed of, but the waiting afterwards was even harder. Alexandra, if you knew how much that first time here by the stile has haunted me, how I have tried to forget it… But I never have. And now… If you were to ask me again if I wish to kiss you, I’ll tell you the truth this time.’ He put an arm round her, and lifted her chin. Gazing deep into her eyes, he said softly, ‘Ask me again, Alexandra.’

‘Do you…do you want to kiss me, Richard?’

He smiled and then began to kiss her, at first gently, as if she were something infinitely precious, then, feeling her response, he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her eyes, her chin, her throat, seeking and finding the pulse beating wildly there. Then he took her into his arms and the kisses became more demanding. He seemed to envelop her, holding her so closely that she thought she could feel every bone and muscle of his body. Lexi’s own bones were melting with delight. She felt no shame. This was where she wanted to be, this was what she had waited for all her life, or so it seemed. She was impatient to be absorbed by him, become part of him, she was nothing without him…

After a moment he took a deep breath and held her away. ‘I…I think that’s enough for the moment,’ he said somewhat unsteadily. ‘Dear God, Alexandra, you have such power over me. No one else can make me forget the world and everything else in it as you do.’

‘Richard?’ she whispered, unaware of the pleading note in her voice.

‘We mustn’t go any further,’ he said, roughly. He gave an incredulous laugh. ‘You are…totally desirable. But we mustn’t go any further. You know that, don’t you?’

When she looked away from him without saying anything, he gave her a little shake. ‘Don’t you, Alexandra?’

She nodded. Then, taking her hands in his, he kissed her gently and said, ‘We only have to wait a little longer, my lovely one. My lovely, and…very dear Alexandra. Wait till after this business with the French is over. Then at long last it will be time to talk about our future…’

Chapter Four

I n her bedroom at Channings, trapped, it seemed, in the marriage she had so longed for, Lexi turned her head frantically to and fro on the pillow. Why couldn’t she forget? Those words of Richard’s haunted her. They had been so tender, so full of promise. ‘My lovely, and very dear Alexandra, my lovely and very dear Alexandra, my lovely Alexandra…Alexandra…’ No one else called her Alexandra. Richard always gave it a special sound… Why couldn’t she forget?

Lexi groaned and turned over. A deep sob escaped her. Murdie was there. She got up and held a glass to her lips. It tasted bitter, and in a few minutes she felt herself falling thankfully into oblivion again…

The next day Murdie was sitting by the bed when Richard returned to his wife’s bedside. ‘I thought my aunt would be here,’ he said. ‘Where is she?’

‘Her ladyship went to her own room, my lord. Lady Deverell was asleep, so she decided to have a rest herself.’

‘I see. Well, you may go, too, Murdie. I’ve come to sit with my wife.’ When Murdie hesitated he added firmly, ‘I’m sure your mistress has need of your services.’

Murdie looked at him, her face carefully indifferent, then curtsied and left the room.

Richard cast a glance at the sleeping figure on the bed, then fetched the wing chair over from the window and sat down to wait. He was weary beyond measure. His careful plans had gone wildly astray, but if he was to save something from the wreck it was time to talk to Alexandra. She still didn’t want him to. Even the damned maidservant knew that. But he had Dr Loudon’s assurance that she was strong enough, strong enough even to get up, and he had decided not to wait any longer.

He still had no idea what they would say to one another…

So far, at least, there had been no hint of scandal. Only the five who had been there in the vestry knew of the sensational sequel to the wedding ceremony, and since then Alexandra had had no visitors. But if the situation continued as it was for much longer, the gossip would soon start. Some way of living together had to be found, if only for the next six months…

Richard put his head in his hands. After the tumult of the last few years, after so many barriers to his happiness, the prospect of settling down at last at Channings with Alexandra Rawdon had seemed…very attractive. He smiled warily. Attractive? Why couldn’t he admit his real feelings, just for once, just to himself? He had longed for it passionately. He had known he was taking a risk in marrying her so hastily, so soon after the shock of her father’s death, but it had seemed the only thing to do. That death had changed what had been a difficult situation into a nightmare…

Richard got up and walked restlessly about the room. He had other reasons for marrying Alexandra, but his betrothal and marriage to Sir Jeremy’s heiress had given him access to the papers connected with the Rawdon estates. He had sorted out the worst of the problems before the wedding and hoped that with time he could deal with the rest, too, discreetly, before anyone else found out what the late owner of Rawdon Hall had done…

He glanced at the bed. Alexandra was still asleep. That had been the other, more important reason, of course. He had been desperate to take care of her. She had been left so alone in the world, without a home… Mark Rawdon was a pleasant enough fellow, but he was still something of a stranger. Alexandra could not have carried on living at Rawdon after her father’s death. No, an early marriage had been necessary. But, in thinking it would solve his problems, he had been disastrously over-optimistic…

He looked again at the figure on the bed. What had caused Alexandra’s sudden change of heart? Why had she turned against him? There had been no sign of it when he had asked her to marry him, and that had been a bare five weeks ago. She had changed some time shortly before the wedding. When he had tried to find out what was wrong her answers had been evasive and she had afterwards avoided him. Aunt Honoria had talked of pre-wedding nerves, and he had accepted that as the probable explanation. Not in his worst nightmares had he imagined she was planning anything like the scene in the vestry.

Would she have gone through with it and shot him if he hadn’t intervened? He must have thought so then, or he wouldn’t have thought it necessary to buy time with that lunatic promise. Six months to prove her accusations wrong. How the devil was he to do it? Telling her the truth would make nonsense of all his efforts of the past few months. But one way or another he must find a way of satisfying her. One thing was quite obvious. Someone, somewhere, wanted to make mischief for the Rawdon family, and the sooner he found out who it was the better it would be for everyone, Alexandra, Mark Rawdon and himself.

Damn the troublemaking villain, whoever he was. Who had told Alexandra about that card game between Richard and her father? She was far from stupid. She wouldn’t let it rest there. When she was herself again she was certain to ask why her father had risked everything on the turn of a card. And what the devil would he tell her? Jeremy and Johnny Rawdon were now both dead, but what would it do to her to learn why her father had been so ready to risk disaster and disgrace?

Richard shook his head. His plans may have gone badly wrong, but he had at least succeeded in protecting her father’s reputation. No one now need ever know that Sir Jeremy Rawdon, a former magistrate and a pillar of society, had broken the law. It had taken a great deal of his skill and time between Sir Jeremy’s death and his own marriage to Alexandra to straighten it all out, but he had succeeded. Ironically, she now apparently held his efforts against him.

It was even more ironic that she had accused him of meddling with the evidence of Johnny’s death. In that instance she was perfectly right, of course… He had.

The figure on the bed sighed and stirred. Richard moved over to the bedside and sat down.