Michelle Douglas – Reunited by a Baby Secret (страница 7)

‘You don’t like the idea?’

She shook her head and chewed doggedly.

‘But the house would be yours and—’

He broke off when she pushed a whole half of an arancini ball into her mouth.

He rubbed a hand across his jaw. ‘Okay, what’s wrong with that plan?’

It took her a moment of chewing and swallowing and sipping of water before she could trust herself to answer with any equanimity. ‘You don’t ever mean to marry, no?’

His frown deepened. ‘Right.’

‘But it doesn’t necessarily follow that I won’t.’

He gazed at her blankly.

‘The mother, her baby, her ex-lover and her husband,’ she quipped. ‘All under one roof? How cosy. Not!’ She stabbed her fork at him. ‘Not going to happen.’

He dragged a hand down his face, before glancing back at her with eyes that throbbed.

‘Ryan, I will organise my own life—my own house and furniture, not to mention my work. If you want contact with the baby, then that’s fine. I have no intention of stopping you—but nor do I have any intention of being your glorified housekeeper while you do it. Buy a house in Monte Calanetti by all means. Feel free to hire a housekeeper and a nanny to help you with housework and the baby, but don’t think you’re going to cramp my life like that.’

‘You mean to marry one day?’

Of all the things she’d just said, that was what he wanted to focus on? ‘Of course I do.’ And while they were on the topic... ‘I mean to have more babies too.’

He paled. ‘And do you think this future husband of yours will love our child?’

What kind of question was that? How on earth could he think it possible for her to fall in love with someone who wouldn’t love her child too?

He sat back, his spine ramrod-rigid. ‘My offer of a house wasn’t meant to curtail your freedom. I can see now it was ill considered. You’re right—it would never work. I’m sorry.’

Did he really want what was best for their baby? She recalled the way his eyes had flashed when he’d said he wouldn’t let his child feel unloved or rejected. They were on the same side, but it didn’t feel that way.

He pressed his lips together. ‘We’re going to have to learn to work together on this.’

‘Yes.’ At least they agreed about that.

He thrust a finger at her. ‘And I can tell you now that I won’t be foisting my child off onto some nanny.’

That scored him a few brownie points, but... ‘What do you know about caring for a baby? Have you ever fed one and then burped it? Have you ever changed a diaper?’

He glanced away.

Marianna choked. ‘Please tell me you’ve at least held one.’

He didn’t answer, but his expression told its own story. Why on earth was he here? If he avoided children with the same ferocity he did marriage, why hadn’t he run for the hills?

I know what it’s like to feel unwanted.

Her heart suddenly burned for the small boy that was still buried deep in the man opposite her. He’d been hurt badly by his childhood, that much was evident, and he wanted to do better by his child. She couldn’t help but applaud that.

‘Hell, Marianna!’ He swung back. ‘I know nothing about babies or children. They’re a complete mystery to me. But I can learn and I will love our child.’

For their baby’s sake, she hoped he was right.

He’d gone so pale it frightened her. ‘Can you teach me what I need to know?’

‘Me?’ The word squeaked out of her.

‘There isn’t anyone else I can ask.’

The implication of his lone-wolf ways hit her then and she gulped. It occurred to her that he might need this baby more than he realised. She gripped her hands together in her lap. Admittedly, she and he did have to learn to work together—that’d be in the best interests of their child. And seeing the two of them working things out together in a rational, adult way would put both Angelo’s and Nico’s minds at rest.

If Ryan really was willing to make an effort then...then their baby deserved to know him, to have him in its life. Her baby deserved to be loved by as many people as possible. And... She swallowed. And if Ryan did suddenly decide that he couldn’t handle fatherhood, it’d be better to discover that now, before the baby was born.

You mean to test him to see if he’s worthy?

Was that what she was doing?

Who’s going to test you?

She closed her eyes.

‘Is everything okay with your meals?’

Marianna’s eyes sprang open to find Daniella frowning at their barely touched plates. ‘The food is divine,’ Marianna assured her.

The maître d’ planted her hands on her hips. ‘Would you like me to get Raffaele to prepare something else for you?’

‘No, no, Daniella. Honestly, the food is wonderful. It’s just...’ Marianna pulled in a deep breath. ‘Well, the fact of the matter is I’m pregnant, and food at the moment—any food—is a bit...iffy.’

Daniella stared, and then an enormous smile spread across her face. ‘Marianna! What exciting news! Congratulations!’

She bent and hugged her and Marianna’s throat thickened. ‘I...thank you.’

The maître d’ tapped a finger against her lips and then suddenly winked and wheeled away. Her smile speared straight into Marianna’s heart. She swallowed and blinked hard. She stared down into her lap and fiddled with her napkin.

Ryan ducked his head and tried to catch her eye. ‘Are you okay?’

‘Uh-huh.’ She nodded.

He brought a fist up to his mouth. ‘Are you crying?’

Marianna lifted her napkin and buried her face in it for a moment, before drawing back and dabbing at her eyes.

Ryan stared at her as if he didn’t have a clue what to do. He shuffled on his seat, but he didn’t run. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘Nothing’s wrong. It’s just... Daniella is the first person who’s actually congratulated me and...and it was nice. The news of a baby should be celebrated.’

Ryan’s face darkened. ‘I thought you said your brothers had been supportive.’

‘They have been, but...well, the pregnancy was obviously unplanned and...’ They hadn’t meant to make her feel as if she’d messed up. ‘They’ve been worried about me.’

On the table, his hand clenched. ‘And I acted like a damn jerk.’

She blew out a breath. She hadn’t really given him much of a chance to act any other way.

Daniella returned with an enormous slice of chocolate cherry cake—Marianna’s favourite. ‘Compliments of the chef,’ she said, setting it down with a flourish.

Darn it! Her throat went all thick again. Her emotions were see-sawing so much at the moment they were making her dizzy. ‘Thank him for me,’ she managed.

She promptly curved her spoon through it and brought it to her mouth, closing her eyes in ecstasy as the taste hit her. She opened them again to find Ryan staring at her as if mesmerised. A strange electricity started to hum through her blood.

They both glanced away at the same time.

Her heart pounded. Okay. In her mind she drew the word out. She and Ryan might be virtual strangers—in their real world incarnations—but they still generated heat. A lot of heat. She ate more cake. Ryan set to work on his fettuccine. They studiously avoided meeting each other’s eyes.

If they were going to successfully co-parent, they were going to have to ignore that heat.

What a pity.

She choked when the unbidden voice sounded in her head. She was shameless!

‘Everything okay?’

She pulled in a breath. ‘If we want this to work, Ryan—’