Анна Давыдова-Городецкая – Ouroboros or the world inside out (страница 2)

As a doctor, I am well aware of the psychosomatic mechanisms of disease development and the fatal changes in the body triggered by the emotional sphere. I imagined it this way: no auto-aggression → no diseases → a person can live until they get bored. I thought it was foolish to ruin myself with my own hands and wondered why all those who lived before me got sick and died so early. There was a certain amount of irony in this, but I genuinely believed that by overcoming the mechanism of self-destruction, a person could live happily ever after.

The only thing that puzzled me was that few people seemed to achieve this. Around this time, a friend told me about the apparent auto-aggression in a small child who, due to their age and autism, did not understand much. It became clear that the issue was much more complex than I had thought. The mechanism of auto-aggression is likely embedded in the foundations of the human personality, making it impossible to suppress entirely. It is probably something that will eventually lead to the grave of everyone born, much sooner than we would like. But why?

Trying to answer this question marked the beginning of my fascinating journey into the world of the infantile personality, the world of Ouroboros.

In this work, I describe my view on the patterns of behavior and psychological reactions formed in early childhood that hinder psychological maturation. The infantile personality is characterized by devaluation, auto-aggression, and a constant oscillation between superiority and vulnerability. Additionally, the entire psyche is permeated with illusions about oneself and the world. Such a person is rarely satisfied with life, almost never develops healthy relationships with others, and seldom has a successful career. Even if there is family and career growth, he is still always dissatisfied with the result.

From a metaphysical point of view, we can imagine that the Serpent, who led the forebears of mankind to the Expulsion, incorporated his structure into the psyche of all their descendants to deprive them of the joy of being and, ultimately, to lead them to death through self-destruction. I imagined this structure in the form of Ouroboros, who symbolically eats himself, and the closed vicious circle of pathological reactions came to life in the form of this ancient symbol. Therefore, in the further narration, there will be many references to Ouroboros. Sometimes, I will correlate the described patterns with the hunger of this creature and the volume it occupies in the psyche.

I have based my work not on the theory of evolution, which posits that humans descended from apes, but on the Biblical story of Paradise Lost. First, a bit of ancient factology, and then a flight of fancy.

Let's introduce the first humans, Adam and Eve. God created Adam from clay and breathed life into him. A little later, Eve was created from Adam's rib, and they began to live in Paradise, which was called Eden. They were provided with everything they needed, were satisfied with everything, and were not worried about anything. They seemed perfect to themselves and to each other. All in all, they were happy.

In that Garden of Eden there were many trees, including two forbidden trees: «In the fertile land, the Lord God grew every beautiful tree with edible fruit, and also he grew the tree of life in the middle of the garden and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil». Gen 2:9.

God warned Adam that eating of the fruit from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil leads to death: «but don’t eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, because on the day you eat from it, you will die». Gen. 2:17.

In the same garden dwelt the Serpent: «The snake was the most cunning of all the wild animals that the Lord God had made. He said to the woman,“Did God really say that you shouldn’t eat from any tree in the garden?”. The woman said to the snake, “We may eat the fruit of the garden’s trees but not the fruit of the tree in the middle of the garden. God said, “Don’t eat from it, and don’t touch it, or you will die”. The snake said to the woman, “You won’t die! God knows that on the day you eat from it, you will see clearly and you will be like God, knowing good and evil». Gen. 3:1–6.

A number of questions arise, such as why did God create such a tree? And where did the Serpent come from? Here we can think about the balance of dark and light, and free will to choose sides, but that's a topic for another study. Although… we are not going to seriously criticize the Creator, are we? He wanted it and he created it! Just to be…

Let's get back to what the Scripture says: «The woman saw that the tree was beautiful with delicious food and that the tree would provide wisdom, so she took some of its fruit and ate it, and also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Then they both saw clearly and knew that they were naked. So, they sewed fig leaves together and made garments for themselves.

During that day’s cool evening breeze, they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden; and the man and his wife hid themselves from the Lord God in the middle of the garden’s trees.

The Lord God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?”

The man replied, “I heard your sound in the garden; I was afraid because I was naked, and I hid myself.”

He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Did you eat from the tree, which I commanded you not to eat?”

The man said, “The woman you gave me, she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate». Gen. 3:7–13.

So, the Serpent managed to seduce Eve, and she persuaded Adam, and they both ate the apple from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. The Serpent promised them that they would become as perfect and intelligent as God himself, but the consequences of this act were totally unexpected. After eating the apple, Adam and Eve saw their nakedness at the same moment. They were ashamed – not because they had changed, but because their view of themselves had changed. I think this was the first act of self-discontent, in fact, the first act of auto-aggression, which included shame about their bodies and guilt about what they had done.

In expelling all three participants in this drama from Paradise, God cursed each one, he said to the Serpent: «Because you did this, you are the one cursed out of all the farm animals, out of all the wild animals. On your belly you will crawl, and dust you will eat every day of your life. I will put contempt between you and the woman, between your offspring and hers. They will strike your head, but you will strike at their heels».

To Eve: «I will make your pregnancy very painful; in pain you will bear children. You will desire your husband, but he will rule over you».

To Adam: «Because you listened to your wife’s voice and you ate from the tree that I commanded “Don’t eat from it” cursed is the fertile land because of you; in pain you will eat from it every day of your life. Weeds and thistles will grow for you, even as you eat the field’s plants; by the sweat of your face, you will eat bread – until you return to the fertile land, since from it you were taken; you are soil, to the soil you will return». Gen. 3:14–19.

After the Fall of man «The man named his wife Eve because she is the mother of everyone who lives. The Lord God made the man and his wife leather clothes and dressed them». Gen. 3:20, 21. Afterward Adam and Eve descended to the Earth.

«The Lord God said, “The human being has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil”. Now, so he doesn’t stretch out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat and live forever, the Lord God sent him out of the garden of Eden to farm the fertile land from which he was taken. He drove out the human. To the east of the garden of Eden, he stationed winged creatures wielding flaming swords to guard the way to the tree of life». Gen. 3:22–24.

Now it's purely a fantasy. The Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil – the eternal dichotomy… And if we imagine that the Serpent was a branch of this tree from the part responsible for the knowledge of evil, and its fruit was the apple, and it contained the DNA of the Serpent. It is hard to see anything good in this apple – it brought misery to those who ate it. God warned that the fruit of this tree is deadly, but man, endowed with his own mind, ignored the warning. So, with the help of an apple, the Serpent penetrated into the consciousness of the first people. And then penetrated into the consciousness of all their descendants, where regret about the lost Paradise and guilt for the first sinful fall also live. And, as the Serpent deceived naive forefathers, so now it continues to deceive no less naive you and me. He promises us that if we listen to his teachings, we will reach a certain fullness, and then we will be happy as in Paradise, knowing exactly that it is impossible. And we endlessly dream about that eternal happiness, try to achieve the fullness necessary for it, and constantly punish ourselves for not succeeding.