Victoria Pade – A Baby in the Bargain (страница 7)

But then she recalled spilling the contents of her purse the evening before.

Of course he would assume that a book about getting pregnant would mean there was a husband in the picture.

“Oh, because of the book,” she said when light dawned on her. “No, no husband. Not even a fiancé or a boyfriend currently. I’m just not letting that stop me from having a baby.”

No, no, no, she hadn’t really said that, had she? Un-filtered thoughts right out of her mouth—always a mis-take!

Not that she was hiding her plan to have a baby on her own. She’d vowed that if she were going to do it, it would be without making excuses or being ashamed of it. She was going to do it proudly and joyously. The way having a baby should be.

But she was talking to Gideon Thatcher. He was a stranger and a man who didn’t like the Camdens on principle. This was not a situation where it was appropriate to talk about her baby plan.

Not that Gideon Thatcher said anything to encourage her to share more information. He was staring into his coffee cup without making any comment at all.

Then he changed the subject. “I’ve thought about the Camdens wanting to do something for Lakeview in my great-grandfather’s name.”

All business. Good, Jani thought, tasting her own latte and merely raising her eyebrows at him in question rather than trusting herself to say something else she shouldn’t.

“I’ve been thinking for a while about a community center there,” he continued. “Something that offers recreation, low-cost day care and preschool, and adult education to help retrain people who might want to escape working in the Camden factories and warehouses, or develop more skills to help them move up the ladder within your organization. But it isn’t in the budget, and I haven’t been able to come up with the extra funding.”

“The Franklin Thatcher Community Center,” Jani suggested.

“I have a building in mind that would meet the requirements, but it’s been out of use for over a dozen years and needs some serious repair, remodeling and even some reconstruction. Not to mention landscaping to create sports fields and a playground to serve the day care and preschool. Plus there’s staffing, operating costs—”

“But it sounds like something that would really benefit Lakeview and be nice to have your great-grandfather’s name on,” Jani observed.

“It isn’t just a simple park,” he pointed out with a challenging arch to one of his own eyebrows.

“No, but it seems worthwhile. Something good to give back to the community.” And something that was definitely going to cost…

He relaxed slightly more in his chair and seemed to reach unconsciously for his tie, loosening it, unbuttoning the collar button that had come out from hiding behind it.

Then he stretched his neck a little. His head swayed to the right, then to the left, his chin jutted forward, and for some reason Jani saw it all in slow motion.

She savored every nuance, finding every detail somehow enticing. And suddenly she felt fidgety herself.

Was that why he’d been fidgeting when she’d taken off her coat? Was it possible that he’d liked what he’d seen? That he’d felt enticed by it?

Probably not, she told herself, knowing that she shouldn’t entertain such thoughts. Not with this man and not at this juncture in her life.

And yet if the way he looked and the simplest of gestures could entice her, it helped to think that she might be able to entice him a little, too. Anything that gave an inkling that he didn’t have complete contempt for her was a plus. It helped her feel as if they were on more equal territory. And she’d take whatever crumbs she could get.

“So, if it’s worthwhile, are the Camdens willing to foot the bill?” he asked, repeating her term with a tinge of insolence. “Including staff salaries and operating expenses until the center becomes self-supporting?” There was a challenge in his tone, as well.

Jani pretended to consider what he was asking even though her instructions were to do whatever he wanted. He was asking a lot, after all. She looked into her own coffee cup. Letting silence reign for a moment, she took another drink of her latte.

Then she said, “Of course I’ll have to run the actual numbers by my family, but I think a community center is a great idea and I think they all will, too.”

“In my great-grandfather’s name? Without strings attached, the Camdens won’t profit from it now or at any time in the future—in fact it could be instrumental in costing them warehouse and factory workers. And the donation will be absolutely anonymous, there won’t be a single drop of credit to your family….”

His terms and more challenge.

“Agreed,” Jani said simply.

“It’s going to cost a hell of a lot more than a park,” he warned unnecessarily.

“The money isn’t the point,” Jani said sincerely. “We just want to do something for the community that honors your great-grandfather.”

Gideon Thatcher took a turn at letting silence reign, studying her.

Then he said, “That’s some kind of big guilt you people are showing.”

Jani met him eye to eye. “I know you believe the worst, but there is another side to this that I might tell you when you’re ready to hear it.”

“Is that so?”

“It is,” she said, holding her ground calmly, quietly, but with conviction.

His great green eyes stayed steady on her for a long moment. While Jani knew he was once again gauging her motives and whether there was some hidden trap or conspiracy in this, she also had the sense that he was looking beyond the fact that she was a Camden and sizing her up as her own person.

His expression didn’t reveal the conclusion he came to, though.

“I suppose we should start with you taking a look at the building and getting an idea of what you’re signing on for.”

Was she imagining it or was there a microscopically small reduction in the hostility in his tone?

She was probably just imagining it because she wanted it to be the case.

“Just tell me where and when,” she said.

“So eager…” he muttered, still watching her and again seeming suspicious.

“Actually, I’m just trying to be cooperative,” she corrected.

He didn’t remark on that. He merely went on watching her as if to say that he’d be the judge. But Jani thought that actions spoke louder than words, and he wouldn’t be able to find fault with her actions because she was on the up-and-up.

Then, out of the blue, he said, “So you’re not mar-ried….”

“Nope, never have been.”

“But you’re not letting the lack of a husband—or even a fiancé or a boyfriend—stop you from having a family?”

“Not anymore.”

“That’s a bold move.”

Oh yeah, he was sizing her up.

She shrugged. “Sometimes it feels that way,” she admitted. “But I just started the process. I’ve only had my first visit to the doctor, and I’m taking it one step at a time.” Which was what she told herself whenever the prospect of artificial insemination, pregnancy, delivery and raising a child alone seemed daunting.

One step at a time. Take it one step at a time and you can handle it….

It was actually the advice GiGi had given all ten of her grandchildren whenever they’d thought anything was insurmountable, and it had always served Jani well.

“I suppose you are a Camden—you don’t need financial help,” Gideon said. “But still…Will there even be a father in the picture?” He suddenly sat up straighter and leaned farther back in his chair, held up his hands, palms out, and added, “None of my business. I’m out of line.”

“No, it’s okay,” Jani said, thinking that if she needed him to eventually open up to her, it might aid the cause for her to be open with him first. “There won’t be a father in the picture. There will only be me. And a baby!” she said enthusiastically.

He was looking even more intently at her, with the shadow of a frown putting a small crease between his eyebrows. “Do you think that a father in a kid’s life is just inconsequential?” he asked as if it were an issue to him.

“No! Not at all,” Jani said. “I loved my own dad dearly—I was an awful daddy’s girl. And regardless of how you think of H.J., I loved him, too—he was an important man in my life. So was a man named Louie, who was sort of a substitute father when I needed him to be. This is just…” She wanted to foster a sense of openness with Gideon but she wasn’t willing to be too open or go into too many details, either.

“…this is just what I’ve decided to do. A baby is something I’ve wanted forever and I’m not going to wait any longer to have one. Kids grow up in all sorts of different situations now—lots and lots of them in one-parent homes. If…” no, she wasn’t going to have defeatist thoughts “…when I get pregnant, I’ll just love my baby enough for it to feel like it has two parents.”

The crease between Gideon’s eyes deepened. It reminded Jani of the way Gigi responded to this subject.

“I know not everyone approves—my grandmother wishes I wouldn’t do it,” she said. “But things don’t always work out the way we—or anyone else—wish they would.”

“True…”

“So sometimes you just have to do what you have to do to get what you want.”

“H. J. Camden’s philosophy?” Gideon said with challenge in his tone again.

I walked into that one, didn’t I?