Teresa Carpenter – Twin Ties, Twin Joys: The Boss's Double Trouble Twins / Twins for a Christmas Bride / Baby Twins: Parents Needed (страница 9)

“Listen, Darcy, I agree that a marriage between you and me just wouldn’t work out, but I definitely want to help you in any way I can. We need to figure how much money you’ll need and I’ll set up a monthly fund.”

“No!”

She was cringing inside. How was it that he didn’t understand that his offer was so hurtful she could hardly bear it—that it was even worse than his halfhearted mention of marriage that seemed so easy to brush away? That it was so obvious he just wanted to get the hell out of here. She closed her eyes, but only for a few seconds. She couldn’t let herself weaken.

“I will take some help because I’m going to need it,” she said, her voice rough as she tried to rein in her emotions. “But only enough to make sure the twins are okay.” She drew in a deep breath. “But help is one thing. Taking over my life is another.”

“Who said anything about taking over your life?”

She stared down into the canyon. “Those who give money always end up seeking control. It’s human nature.”

And then she wanted to bite her tongue. Why was she being so testy? This bristling edginess between them seemed so strange. They’d never been this way with each other before. In the old days, when he’d hardly glanced her way, she’d watched from afar, thinking he was the most wonderful thing in the world.

And then there had been Paris. The attraction between them had been immediate and explosive—a match being struck and igniting into instant flame. The joy of being together in that beautiful city, the ecstasy of the love they’d made in that narrow bed in his tiny hotel room, walking together down the wide boulevard and watching the dawn arrive over the spires and treetops of the sleeping city—it had all been a magical fantasy that she would cherish forever.

But that was then. This was reality, where they were giving each other scathing looks and tight-lipped smiles and acting as though they could barely stand to look at each other. What had happened? Was it just because of the babies?

She tried to imagine what it would have been like if there were no children, if he’d come back and found her much the way he’d left her. But no, it wouldn’t be very different. Even without the babies, there was still the fact that he’d walked off and forgotten all about her in a few short moments after that weekend. And she’d been able to think about nothing else—until Jimmy’s accident took center stage in her life. After all, when their eyes had first met in that washroom, there had been no spontaneous burst of joy between them. To the contrary, there had been an instant antagonism, an instant wariness—and it hadn’t been just her.

Face facts, Darcy, she told herself bitterly. He’s a love ‘em and leave ‘em guy who doesn’t particularly care to find the ones he’s left turning up on his doorstep. That much is obvious.

“Who knows about this?” he was asking.

“That you are their father? Nobody.” She shrugged. “Nobody but you and me. And I think Mimi is probably figuring it out as we speak.”

He nodded. “Okay. Do you want to leave it that way?”

No, of course she didn’t. But what else could she say? She turned so that he couldn’t see her face.

“I guess so. Especially since we’re going to be working together. I think it would be best, don’t you?”

He nodded again.

She looked back at him. “You might want to tell your parents.”

His handsome face registered surprise. “Why would I do a thing like that?”

“They’re grandparents and don’t even know it. Don’t you think they have a right to know?”

Slowly he shook his head. “They have nothing to do with my private life.”

“Oh.” She searched his face, puzzled by his attitude. His tone was so bitter. “I’ve met your father. I think he’s a very nice man.”

“Most people do.”

She rolled her eyes, just a little. “I see. Those who don’t know him like you do.” “You’ve got that right.”

She frowned, shaking her head and searching his face for clues. “What did he do to you, Mitch?” she asked gently.

Something hard flashed in his gaze and he grimaced. “We’re off topic,” he said. “We were talking about the fact that you had two kids who are part mine and you didn’t tell me about it.”

She lifted her chin. “No. We’re talking about the fact that I had two kids who are part yours and you wish I hadn’t.”

He stared down at her. How could he deny what she’d just said? It was true. She’d dropped a bombshell on him and he hadn’t recovered from the impact yet. He really wasn’t sure what he thought.

But one thing he knew for sure—babies or not, life-changing news or not, antagonism or not—he still wanted her like he’d never wanted any other woman. Every time he looked at her he felt that same pull, an attraction so strong, so deep, that it seemed almost physical. She drew him like a magnet. He longed for her, ached to hold her, hungered to feel that open, unrestrained response she’d given him in Paris. And yet, that seemed to be more and more impossible every moment. He could almost see the gulf widening between them. He hated that, but he had no idea how to stop it.

He’d been in a state of denial. He realized now that he’d felt this way for a long time. He’d dreamed about her on cold, empty nights in the Himalayas, seen her face in the reflective glass of windows on the streets of Brasilia, thought about her when he was alone and when he was in crowds. She’d been haunting him for two years. No wonder he’d finally had to come back.

But that didn’t make any sense. He hadn’t known she’d be here. He shook his head, rejecting that random thought. And yet …

Now, suddenly, the woman who obsessed him was the mother of his children. That brought him up short. What was he supposed to do with that? Emotions were churning inside him but he needed to sort them out. He wasn’t sure what he thought, what he felt. He needed a little time to think it all over.

“Listen, Darcy,” he said, turning to head back toward the house. “This has really knocked me for a loop. I can’t seem to put together a coherent thought right now. I need some time.”

She nodded. They walked back in silence, the crunching of the rocks beneath their feet the only sound. A cool breeze was kicking up, slapping her blond hair against her face. She shivered and drew her arms in close. As they came back in front of the house, she turned to him. Despite everything, she longed to have him love the boys the way she did. Maybe, if he got to know them …

“Do you want to come in?”

“No.”

She drew back, startled at his abrupt tone of voice.

“No,” he repeated, deliberately sounding gentler this time. “I think I’d better go. I’ve got to think about this.”

She nodded, but her heart sank. He seemed to read her disappointment in her face, because he hesitated and added, “Darcy, you know I’m not used to this yet. You’ve had two years to get used to it. I’m just starting down that road.”

“Sure,” she said. “I understand.”

He raked fingers through his hair and looked at her with a half smile. “Do you? That’s good. Because I sure don’t.”

She could have used a sharp retort against him but she didn’t. Something in the lost, bewildered look in his eyes stopped her. He really had been sent into a tailspin and needed to right himself before they talked more. She could see that. So she nodded when he said, “Goodbye.”

“See you tomorrow,” she said simply.

She watched him get into his car and start down the driveway. She stood where she was until he was out of sight.

“Why me?” she whispered to whatever power in the universe might be listening. “Surely there are others who deserve to be tortured much more than I do.”

This was all so disturbing, but she thought she understood him to a point. Yes, she understood his need for time to think, but there was something she didn’t understand. Or, maybe she understood it too well and just didn’t like it. He didn’t want to come in and see the babies again. Maybe he would never want to see them. That thought was like a knife through her heart. How could he turn his back on those two sweet babies?

And yet, what did she expect him to do? Oh sure, he could write a check and pretend that took care of everything. But what else did she want from him? It wasn’t even clear to her yet. Something was bruised deep inside her and she tried to figure out just exactly why. She was hurt and disappointed that Mitch was acting like he didn’t want the babies, but this was more. This had to do with his reaction to her.

Maybe it was for all she’d lost. She wasn’t that girl anymore, that open and loving woman who’d clung to him and made love to him so freely, so full of joy. That girl was gone forever. She could no longer do things just because she wanted to. She had two little babies to care for. She had to take them into account before she did anything at all.

So maybe that was it—a sense of mourning for the lost Darcy of old.

“Whatever,” she muttered to herself. “Good riddance, anyway.”

But her eyes brimmed with tears. “Has he gone?” Mimi asked as she came back into the house.

“Yes,” Darcy answered. “Thanks for taking the babies for me. Are they down?”

“Yes indeed, and sleeping soundly. They were all worn out from their escapade.”