Сьюзен Мейер – Hired: A Bride for the Boss: The Playboy Boss's Chosen Bride / The Corporate Marriage Campaign / The Boss's Urgent Proposal (страница 14)

Jake settled beside her and closed his door, filling the space inside the car with a sense of primal urgency. He gunned the powerful engine and they were away, charging into a togetherness they had never had before. The security gates at the end of the driveway were being opened but he had to slow the car briefly and he reached across and took her hand, his fingers tightening around hers in a possessive grasp.

‘Are you okay, Merlina?’ he asked in a surprisingly gentle tone.

His dark eyes scanned hers for some sign that she was with him in spirit as well as physically present.

‘I don’t know,’ she answered shakily. ‘Taking off with you feels like a rash leap in the dark.’

He squeezed her hand reassuringly. ‘Don’t worry. Just let it happen.’

‘Don’t you ever think about what you’re doing, Jake?’

‘I don’t have to think about this. It’s right between us. You know it is.’

His eyes blazed absolute conviction at her, then satisfied that he’d settled that point, he removed his hand to shift gears and turned his gaze to the street they were about to enter.

‘It wasn’t right until I turned into a blonde for the cake act,’ she muttered. Which reminded her… ‘What happened with Vanessa Hall? You were in the middle of a relationship with her.’

‘Vanessa and I called it quits on Saturday.’

‘Because of me?’

‘Yes. Because of you.’ He threw her a quick burning glance. ‘Let it be understood that Vanessa was no more than a social convenience in my life.’

‘And I was a work convenience,’ spilled out in a bitter little burst.

‘No. You were never a convenience,’ he denied emphatically.

‘What was I then?’ she challenged, still needing to probe his feelings for her.

‘The light of my life. How’s that?’ He flashed her a grin, getting back into his playboy stride. ‘And I’m not about to let it go out.’

Was it a bit of flippant charm or did he mean it? ‘When did I become the light of your life?’ she asked, mockingly adding, ‘Suddenly? On Saturday afternoon?’

The grin turned into a grimace of vexation at her reading of the situation. ‘This is no flash in the pan, Merlina. In fact, the chemistry we mixed together stirred to life at your job interview with me, strengthened considerably on your first day at work and has been running on well-charged batteries ever since. And for you to pull the plug on it…’ His dark eyebrows beetled down at her. ‘Why did you?’

She shrugged, feeling more able to cope with this conversation. Silence fed too many doubts and worries. ‘I was sick of being your wind-up doll,’ she answered bluntly.

‘Hmm…I always anticipated your calling it time up sooner or later. ‘

That stung her into saying, ‘Oh, really? I thought you expected me to sparkle for you as long as you liked.’

‘No, I was just seeing how far I could wind you. I thought you might explode over the cake idea. I was actually looking forward to the conflagration, but you held it in and paid me out on your own spectacular terms—a tactic, I might add, that I admired for its sheer boldness until my grandfather leapt on board and cut me out.’

‘You weren’t in, Jake. You were with Vanessa Hall,’ she reminded him cattily, remembering how many times she’d burned over his women. It was all very well to call her the light of his life. What were they? Briefly flickering candles?

‘Believe me. Vanessa was well aware of how in I was by the end of Saturday’s party,’ he drawled sardonically.

‘What? You had to lose me before you decided you wanted me?’ Merlina sniped, disgruntled with his two-faced attitude.

‘I told you. It was always there. But you were so good at working with me I didn’t want to complicate the situation.’

‘Right! So it was okay to keep me dangling to serve your interests. Never mind how I felt about it.’

His attention instantly veered from the road to focus intently on her. ‘How did you feel about it?’

Merlina clamped her mouth shut. Those treacherous words had slipped out. She knew better than to give anything up to Jake Devila. He’d go to work on it and get an advantage for himself. She had to keep her obsession with him hidden and try to find the real guts in what he was now revealing.

‘I don’t like being played with,’ she tossed at him. ‘I don’t know what I’m doing here with you. I should have stayed with Byron.’

‘No!’

‘You’re just going to play with me on another level, Jake.’

‘It ceased to be a game the moment you threw down the gauntlet, Merlina,’ he said with surprising seriousness.

‘What is it then? Isn’t this all about winning what you want?’

‘No. It’s about sharing something special.’ His eyes pinned hers in a brief glittering challenge. ‘Something that neither of us will get from anyone else.’

She sucked in a quick breath to ease the tight squeeze on her heart. It was what scared her most, never being able to find anyone else who could touch the chords in her that Jake touched—touched and tweaked and tuned to his pitch. Instinct told her he would have even more power over her feelings if she went to bed with him. Yet if she didn’t…maybe she would be missing the most special experience of her entire life.

‘I’m not sure I believe it would be anything special to you, Jake,’ she said on a doubtful sigh. ‘Perhaps you think you can seduce me back to work with you.’

He said nothing.

Which, to Merlina’s mind, meant she’d hit the nail on the head. Except he threw her into emotional confusion again when he did reply.

‘Seduction is not my scene. I’ve only ever been with women who’ve wanted to be with me. I hope you will choose to be my partner at work again because we make a great team. And I don’t think anyone can fill your shoes, Merlina.’

Those all too seductive words completely destroyed the cynicism she had struggled to maintain. She wanted to be his partner—his partner in everything. They did make a great team. And she knew in her bones that no one was going to fill his shoes, either.

The need to be with him dragged at her heart. She closed her eyes, wishing it was possible to forget everything else and just let it happen. She could give it three months, couldn’t she? If it didn’t look like leading where she wanted it to go, break it off then and walk away. But having got in so deep, would she want to?

The choices one made directed one’s life, but how many choices were driven by emotion? Had she really chosen to carve out a career for herself, or was it simply a rebellion against the constrictions innate in living up to the Italian way, as dictated by her father. Had she chosen to cut her hair and re-image herself to get the job at Signature Sounds or had that motivation been pushed by the desire to make Jake Devila sit up and take notice of her—man/woman notice?

As for playing the get-Jake game with Byron, she’d been indulging a vengeful streak that had completely overwhelmed common sense. Vengeance and hope—a cocktail for chaos, not a recipe for forging a good future.

Her resignation from the job had been an attempt to take real control of where she was going in her life, yet even that had been a reaction to intolerable circumstances, and this move from Jake tonight was spinning her right out of control again. Her head was aching from the stress of trying to choose the right direction. Her heart kept thumping its own message—let it happen. You want it to.

Jake was acutely conscious of her silence. Had he said enough to break the barriers she was trying to keep between them? She wasn’t arguing and Mel—Merlina—was rarely lost for words when she had a point to push. He had to stop thinking Mel. If he slipped up on her name again, she’d probably kick him out of her life.

A quick glance told him she’d closed her eyes, retreating into her own inner world, shutting him out. That was a bad sign. Her mind was probably working against him, thinking of Vanessa and the other women who’d traipsed through his life and bed since she’d been his personal assistant. He couldn’t blame her for not believing she held a uniquely special place in his mind. But she did. He’d just wanted to keep her separate from the party scene—all to himself at work.

No choice now.

He had to do whatever had to be done not to lose her.

They were crossing the harbour bridge. Only fifteen more minutes to her apartment in Chatswood. He knew where it was, had dropped her there a few times after meetings with business associates had run late. She’d never invited him in and he’d never pushed to go in, knowing it would be a dangerous place to be. Too intimate. Too tempting.

But that didn’t matter any more. His whole body was yearning to have her in his arms again, firing up the passion that had flared between them. Just kissing her had been pure dynamite. And she had certainly felt it as strongly as he had. She couldn’t turn her back on it. No one in their right mind would.

A red traffic light forced a stop at the Artarmon turn-off. It gave him time to take more than a glance at her. She was a study in stillness, as though she was holding herself tightly together. Her eyes were still closed. There was a sad, defeated air about her expressionless face. It suggested she had given up on fighting him but wasn’t happy about it.