Сьюзен Мейер – Falling For The Nanny: The Billionaire's Baby SOS / The Nanny Bombshell / The Nanny Who Kissed Her Boss (страница 19)
Fresh tears erupted at that and she rose from the table to get something to wipe her eyes. After a few seconds of searching for tissues, her frustration with looking collided with her frustration with her life and her tears became full-scale sobbing. “Is there a box of tissues in this room that seems to have everything but tissues?”
Panicked by her tears, he bounced off his seat. “That’s a good question.” He roamed around the room, fruitlessly seeking tissues, and in the end ripped a paper towel off the roll by the sink.
But when he reached her, she wouldn’t look at him again, reminding him of how she wouldn’t look at him after he’d yelled about not wanting to know his family. Regret filled him, along with intense longing to be kind to this woman who’d had a childhood far more difficult than his.
Rather than hand the paper towel to her, he rolled it in a ball and lightly dabbed it along the tracks of her tears.
That brought her gaze to his and he swallowed. She was so beautiful, but right in that moment it wasn’t her beauty that called to him. It was something more, something deeper, something so important he didn’t dare let himself examine it.
But he also couldn’t ignore it. With their gazes locked and tears welling in her eyes again, that “something deeper” inside him wouldn’t let this moment slide away. He lowered his head, watching her eyes darken. With fear? With curiosity? He couldn’t tell. He only knew that if he didn’t kiss her right this second, he would be sorry.
Softly, slowly, he let his lips graze hers, telling her with his actions that he understood and wanted to comfort her.
And every bit as slowly her lips rose to meet his, answering him, accepting his comfort.
The kiss grew as they experimented with the feel and taste of each other’s lips. Arousal surged through him, along with the knowledge that she wasn’t like any other woman he’d ever known. Not even Ginny, a pampered princess who might have had to fight alongside her second husband for success, but who didn’t understand suffering. Sadness. The feeling of not quite living up to the expectations of the person who meant the most to you.
Claire understood. She was a real person. A real woman. Someone with problems and goals, who knew life didn’t always turn out the way you hoped.
She suddenly pulled away from him. “What are you doing?”
She stepped back, gaping at him as if he were crazy. “You told me you’re a mean, coldhearted playboy. Somebody I should stay away from. Why the hell would you kiss me like that?”
His breath caught in his chest and seemed to knot there. What the hell was he doing?
“I need to wash my face.” She took another step back, then turned and raced out of the kitchen.
He rubbed his hand across the back of his neck as he sat at the table again. Vibrating with confusion, he stared at his soup. He couldn’t argue her logic. Didn’t want to apologize. How could he? What would he say?
Yet she needed him. He more than sensed it. And something inside of him surged with longing to be the one to fix whatever was wrong.
It was absurd. Not just because he’d never wanted to be a great “fixer” of people. He was an iceman. But also because he didn’t know how to fix anybody. Hell, he couldn’t even fix himself.
Racing up the stairs to the makeshift nursery, Claire just wanted to roll up in a ball and die. She didn’t know what was worse, exposing her secrets to a virtual stranger, or accepting his comfort when she knew deep down inside he didn’t mean it.
Oh, for a few seconds she thought he had. The sweet, sensitive way he’d kissed her made her believe her story had touched him. And maybe it had, but it didn’t mean anything. He was who he was. And by God, she’d promised herself and Joni she wasn’t going to try to change him.
Yet, the second his lips touched hers, her common sense fled out the window!
What the hell was she thinking? They might have a lot of things from their pasts in common, but how long had she known this guy? Twenty-four hours? Only an idiot didn’t learn from her mistakes. And she’d made a huge mistake at university with Ben, a professor she barely knew. She would not make that mistake again. Especially not with a guy nicknamed Iceman.
She stepped into his bedroom and closed the door with a sigh. They had a huge house at their disposal yet they were virtually sleeping in the same room. Sharing a bathroom. Spending twenty-four hours a day together. Telling secrets they hadn’t told another soul. Was it any wonder they were acting out of character?
She splashed water on her face and looked at her reflection in the mirror around the waterfall. This was the danger Joni had warned her about and she’d fluffed off thinking she was strong enough to resist him.
Well, maybe she wasn’t.
Loneliness made her vulnerable; longing for a family had made her take a foolish risk with Ben. Being with Matt seemed to bring out her loneliness and her longing and wish for things in him that absolutely weren’t there.
Unless she wanted to make another mistake, they had to stop having personal conversations. She had to take this time together and make it all about baby lessons again. No more watching his feelings. No more friendly overtures. Nothing but baby lessons.
When she returned downstairs, he was happily playing with Bella, who still sat in the high chair. As she entered the kitchen, his eyes clouded with regret, which only made her feel worse. If she hadn’t blubbered on about her dad, he probably wouldn’t have kissed her.
“You’re back.”
“I told you I just needed to wash my face.”
“Look, I’m sorry—”
She stopped him with a wave of her hand. “We’re fine. Talking about my dad upset me and I took it out on you.”
His eyebrows rose. “Took it out on me?”
“I normally don’t freak out when someone kisses me.” She drew a breath. “But…” She waited until he met her gaze before she said, “Our circumstances are unusual. We’re virtually sleeping in the same room. We’re playing house with a baby. I think we need to use a little common sense and not do things like talk about our lives and kiss.”
Looking incredibly relieved, he nodded.
They fed Bella as if nothing had happened and carried her back to the nursery. Focusing on the baby, Claire’s calm, confident demeanor returned. As Matt went to the dresser for clean pj’s, Claire opened Bella’s little jeans and stifled a laugh over the sight he’d made of her diaper.
“I should have given you a diaper lesson before I left.”
He sniffed. “Maybe.”
The tightness in her chest loosened a bit. This was what they needed to do. Focus on Bella. Forget about kissing. Forget about talking. Stop trying to be friends.
She considered offering to give him diaper lessons now, but didn’t feel comfortable with them standing so close when they were only a few minutes off a kiss and an argument. Instead, she let him go downstairs for a fresh bottle.
A few minutes later, with Bella asleep in the crib, Matt led her into the office/den. Walking to his desk, he peered back at her. “While you were at your office, I took the liberty of calling a nanny service.”
She could have been insulted, thinking he was trying to get rid of her. But after that kiss she wanted to leave.
“Not giving me a chance to hang up on them this time?”
He smiled. “Exactly.”
As he sat in the chair behind the desk, she sat on the one in front of it. “So?”
“So…since you’re here, I thought I might skip the temporary nanny and I talked with them about hiring someone permanently. They emailed a bunch of résumés and I printed them out.”
He reached behind to the printer on the credenza, pulled out a stack of papers and handed them to her. “I’m giving you first right of refusal. Knowing me the way you do, and also knowing Bella, you probably understand better than anyone who won’t fit with us.”
She took the résumés. “I can weed out the prospective nannies I think won’t work.” She glanced up at him. “But you can’t choose a nanny from a résumé.”
“I’d intended to interview them.”
She nodded. “Good.”
He pointed across the desk at the papers she held. “You pick the ones I should interview.”
She looked down at the résumés. Now that their relationship had returned to something more businesslike, her goal for being here—making sure Bella got the best care—guided her again. “If you want, I can help you with the interviews.”
“That would be great.”
She began reading the résumés, looking specifically for nannies with experience with babies. They called the agency and set up interviews with six of the candidates for Friday.
“So if all goes well,” Claire said, rising from her seat. “You should have somebody on Saturday.”
Matt tossed his pen to his desk. “Yeah.” And then she would go. And then he could stop feeling these odd things he always felt around her.
That was good.
Very good.
Very good for