Сьюзен Мэллери – Her Last First Date (страница 2)

“Are you?”

“No, but they don’t know that.”

He sipped his coffee. “Yeah, they do.”

Because they were nice, Crissy thought, again remembering that first meeting with the couple. While she appreciated nice, in these circumstances, she wasn’t sure she trusted it.

“I want to meet Brandon.” She said the words for the first time in her life. She’d e-mailed them to Abbey, but she’d never actually said them aloud before. “I want to get to know him. But not in an intense way. Something easy and casual.”

“That can be arranged.”

“I’m not prepared to tell him who I am,” Crissy continued. That decision was a whole lot more about Brandon than her. While he knew he was adopted and had a birth mother somewhere in the world, knowing and meeting were two different propositions. He was only a kid. They should get to know each other before getting into issues.

“Abbey told me how you felt and why. We all agree with your logic.” He leaned toward her. “Crissy, it’s okay. Pete and Abbey have been hoping you’d want to get to know Brandon. They feel having his birth mother in his life will give him a connection with his heritage.”

“His heritage? Great. Now I feel like a building.”

Josh chuckled. It was a low, warm sound that eased her tension.

“You don’t look anything like a building. Trust me,” he said.

The funny part was, she wanted to. There was something about Josh Daniels that made her think maybe, just maybe, everything was going to work out.

“I have this nagging sense of punishment,” she said, without meaning to say that aloud. “That I should be, or will be.”

“Because you want to meet the child you gave up for adoption?”

“Sort of.” The feeling was more vague than that. More impending doom than actual event. “Like I don’t deserve a second chance when it comes to this.”

Josh studied her. “I’m not a psychologist,” he began.

Despite everything, Crissy smiled. “Oh, no. That statement is usually followed by the word ‘but’ and some advice or opinion.”

“You think you know everything.”

“I actually know a lot.”

He sipped his coffee. “I’m not a professional, but…”

“See?”

He ignored her. “But it seems to me the only person intent on judging and punishing is you. Maybe it’s time to move on.”

Sensible advice. Advice she should take.

“So who are you?” she asked. “I know you’re Pete’s brother, but what do you do with your day?”

“I’m a doctor. Pediatric oncologist.”

It took a second for her to make the connection. “Kids with cancer?”

He nodded. “I take the tough cases—the ones no one else will deal with. I spend my day searching for miracles.”

She’d thought Pete and Abbey were too good to be true. Apparently it was a family trait.

“That has to be hard,” she said.

He shrugged. “The success rates aren’t as high as any of us would like, but I’m determined to give those kids and their families hope. Sometimes hope is all they have.”

There was compassion in his expression and his voice, which probably explained why it was so easy for him not to worry about what she’d done. In his world, giving away a healthy baby to a loving couple delighted to start their family wasn’t even a blip on the radar screen.

Maybe she should look at her situation from his perspective.

Crissy wasn’t what Josh had expected. Intellectually he’d known she had to be close to thirty, but in his mind, he’d half expected a frightened teenager to show up. But if Brandon had grown from a baby to a happy, athletic twelve-year-old it made sense his birth mother had also changed.

He knew the basics about Crissy—that she came from a good family, had a college education, wasn’t married and that she deposited money into Brandon’s college fund every year on his birthday. Although Pete and Abbey had encouraged her to become a part of the family, she’d never been willing to take that step. Until now.

He’d always thought of her as “the birth mother.” Never as her own person. Until meeting her, he’d never considered that there was someone in the world who had Brandon’s eyes or his smile.

“I see you in him,” he said.

“In a good way or a bad way?”

“A good way.”

She smiled and while he was reminded of his nephew, he also saw Crissy. She was pretty, with short, shiny hair and big eyes. There was something about the way she moved, something sensual and…

He slammed on the mental brakes and backtracked. Sensual? Since when did he notice things like that?

“Abbey says he’s really good at sports,” Crissy said. “His dad played football in high school and ran track. I went out for nearly every sport I could. I went to college on a softball scholarship. I thought I was tough.”

He grinned. “I’m sure you were.”

“Does that intimidate you?”

“I’m shaking so hard, I can’t stand.”

“I don’t believe that, but thanks for pretending.”

“Abbey mentioned you own your own business. I don’t think she told me what it was.”

“Gyms for women. I have six now. They’re all over this area.”

“Impressive.”

It explained the body he’d noticed when she’d walked in. She wasn’t tall, but she looked fit, with curves in all the right places. He eyed her sweater and had a sudden desire to see her in tight workout clothes.

Which meant what? After four years of being alone, he was finally coming back to life?

Pete had spent the past two years bugging him to start dating, to get out and have fun. Josh had hidden behind his impossible work schedule. The thought of getting involved still seemed unfeasible, but maybe something casual wasn’t out of the question.

“Are you ready to take the next step with Brandon?” he asked Crissy.

She shivered. “No, but I’ll never be ready. I think I just have to leap in and hope for the best.”

“Pete and Abbey just got word that their adoption of their new baby, Hope, is final. There’s going to be a big party to celebrate. Lots of friends and family. You could blend in with the crowd.”

Crissy swallowed. “That sounds like a plan. When’s the party?”

“Saturday at three.”

She pressed a hand to her chest. “I may start hyperventilating. Does one bring a present to an adoption party?”

“It’s not required.”

“But if I want to?”

“Abbey’s registered at a baby store.” He gave her the name.

Crissy’s expression turned wistful. “I love baby stuff. Those little dresses and frilly socks. They’re so cute. Probably not to you.”

“Not really my thing.”