Рони Лорен – Break Me Down (страница 5)

Which is why he’d had to walk away from Sam. She wanted more from him than he was capable of giving. Deserved more. He could bottom for a night or two, had done it. He’d discovered his masochistic streak years ago and had paid for private sessions with a domme when the need for that kind of release would build up too much. But those were transactions. A bloodletting of sorts. He still held the control—informing the domme what he was there for. And he never surrendered or really let go. He got his enjoyment from taking the pain. That was all.

Sam wouldn’t be satisfied with that. She was a new domme, but he’d discovered how easily she could affect him when they’d trained together. She would want more than his physical submission, she’d want to get in his head, would want his full commitment to the role. No way. He’d learned to deal with the fucked-up wiring his childhood had left him with, but he wasn’t going to base a relationship on it. Couldn’t.

Maybe if those cravings came from a pure place, he’d be okay with it. He didn’t look at the other submissives at the Ranch as if they were screwed up. People were kinky just like people were gay or bi or asexual. It was a part of who they were. He wished his desires were like that—just something that was. But he couldn’t help but see the imprint of his father on all this. His dad had taught him with violent fists and degrading words that you could never show weakness. Victory was in taking it and never flinching, in not giving the other person the satisfaction of getting to you. You could not break.

And Gibson never had. He’d had sessions with dommes where he’d been blind with the pain but he never let go, never orgasmed in session, never went to that place he knew others sought, that oblivion of subspace. He couldn’t surrender. The gratification was in surviving it.

But Sam wouldn’t want that. She’d want his full surrender.

It was something he didn’t have to give. Just thinking about letting go like that put a pit in his stomach.

Grant stopped by his table and clapped him on the shoulder, breaking Gibson from his thoughts. “Hey, stranger, haven’t seen you around in a while.”

Gibson glanced up, trying to clear the scowl he felt himself wearing. “Hey, man. Yeah, work’s been crazy. Kade opened up a new Mediterranean concept and the launch has sucked up all of my time. How’ve you been?”

Grant smirked. “On the verge of a nervous breakdown. Charli’s pregnant and for some reason, she thinks she can continue on with her life as normal and has dismissed my plan to keep her locked in our bedroom and off her feet for the next six months.”

Gibson laughed, knowing the overprotective Grant was probably only half joking about this plan. But Gibson also knew Charli, and there was no way that woman would put up with being Rapunzeled. “I can’t imagine why she’d have a problem with that. But congratulations, that’s fantastic news.”

“Thanks.” He took the seat next to Gibson. “So are you here for a paid session or something else? I’m only asking because Elise, the woman in white over in the corner, is a new member, and I’d rather pair her with someone who’s a veteran.”

Gibson peered over in the direction Grant had indicated and found a pretty redhead scanning the room, her nerves evident in the stiff set of her spine and tight hold on her glass. Everything about her said newbie. Everything also said submissive. Gibson should’ve jumped at the opportunity. She was attractive, and he enjoyed training new members. But trying to drum up excitement tonight was like rubbing two wet sticks together and expecting a fire. “I’m not sure what I’m here for, to be honest.”

Besides his brother and his friend Pike, Grant was the only other person who knew about Gibson’s occasional private sessions with the paid dommes.

Grant gave a grunt of acknowledgement and then nodded toward the entrance on the far side of the room. “Maybe she’s more in line with what you’re looking for this evenin’?”

Gibson turned his head, expecting to see Janessa or one of the other regular dommes who worked there, but instead Sam strolled in. Sam. Just the sight of her gave him a swift kick in the gut. She’d changed out of her work clothes into snug black pants and a corset, torturing Gibson with curves and smooth flesh and brash confidence. Good God, she was something to behold. But as she moved farther into the room and he got a better look at her face, his appreciation of the view switched into something else entirely.

The Sam he’d left in the bar was not the woman here now. Her eyes were puffy and devoid of the smoky makeup she’d been wearing earlier, and one side of her face looked red and swollen. She’d been hurt. He jumped to his feet so quickly, his chair nearly tipped backward. “What the hell?”

Grant stood as well, probably noticing the same things he had.

Their sudden movements must’ve caught her eye because she turned Gibson’s way. Her eyes widened for a moment, and then she spun on her heel and headed in the other direction. But he was only a few strides away and picked up speed.

He caught up to her and put his hand on her shoulder. “Sam, wait.”

She tensed beneath his fingers. “You’re not supposed to touch anyone without permission here. Let me go.”

He didn’t give a shit about the rules right now. He stepped around her, blocking her path. Up close, the damage was even worse. Her cheek was definitely swollen, her lip puffy, and she’d been crying. His spunky, upbeat Sam, crying. Something primal and protective surged in him.

“Baby.” He reached for her cheek. “What the hell happened?”

She ducked away from his touch, her jaw twitching. “Nothing. I’m fine.”

He dropped his arm to his side but didn’t move away. “Bullshit. Talk to me.”

Grant stopped a few steps back, listening but not interrupting.

“I’m fine,” she repeated, her fists clenching at her sides.

“You’re hurt.”

“It’s nothing.”

“Sam,” he said, warning in his tone.

She looked away, her stance steely. “Fine. The guys who gave me trouble at the bar tonight were waiting for me when I walked to my car, all right? Shitty end to the night.”

Gibson’s stomach plummeted, and anger ripped through him like a wildfire. “They did this to you?” He closed the space between them, searching her face, wanting to run his hands all over her to make sure everything was intact but knowing he needed to tread carefully. “God, baby, did they—”

“Angie chased them off before they could do any worse than this. I have a few bruises and a ripped shirt. I’ll survive.”

Gibson let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, but rage still beat through him hard and ugly. Those fucking inbreds had hurt Sam, had scared her, would’ve done worse if someone hadn’t been there to interrupt. “I’m going to kill those fuckers.”

“They won’t get caught. And even if they did, the charges would be minor.” She shook her head, a haunted look flashing through her eyes before she covered it. “Look, I’m okay. I got lucky. I just want to forget about it.”

He understood that desire, but he wasn’t buying that she was fine. Her pulse was jumping against her throat and her gaze was darting around the room like she expected someone to jump out. The woman was spooked. He put his hands on her shoulders, feeling the slight trembling in her body. He wanted to pull her to him, tell her she was safe with him, that he’d never let anyone hurt her again. But she’d only shove him away. The Do Not Enter signs were screaming from every corner of her expression. “Tell me what I can do. Why don’t we go to my cabin? I’ll get you a drink and we can talk. Or I can drive you home so that you can get some rest.”

She tipped up her chin, eyes flashing with defiance. “I don’t need a drink or to talk or to sleep. That’s not why I came all the way out here, and you know it. I need a sub.”

He frowned. “Baby, you can’t just—”

“Don’t tell me what I can’t do, Gib. I’ve had a bad night, and I know what I need. I need a submissive.” Her tone was flinty, her gaze drilling into him. “Preferably one without a lot of limits.” She leaned into his space. “You volunteering?”

People were starting to turn their way, watching the exchange—the petite domme and the guy everyone knew as a dominant. Eyebrows were lifting. His neck heated. His body was responding to her hard tone, the challenge in her eye, but he tamped the instinct down. “Sam, you know I don’t—”

The door slammed shut, her expression shuttering.

“Fine.” She pushed her shoulders back and then stepped around him. “Be a fucking coward, Gib. I was coming here to find Julian anyway.”

The name of the sub sent jealousy burning through him, and he spun around to try to stop her. But Grant stepped in her path instead. He lifted a hand, halting her without touching her. “Easy, there, mistress.”

Sam couldn’t do anything but stop with the wall of cowboy in front of her. Plus, domme or not, no one challenged Grant. But she held her spine straight and met the man’s gaze. “Please, Grant, I don’t want to talk about it. I’m okay. Let me pass and find Julian.”

Grant frowned down at her, concern filling his face as he evaluated her. “No can do, darlin’. I don’t know exactly what you’ve been through tonight, but I can see that you’re not in a safe state of mind to play with anyone tonight. I won’t allow it. You’re upset and angry. Two things that can cloud your judgment and put your partner at risk.”