Patricia Johns – A Boy's Christmas Wish (страница 11)

“The last I had seen Lana, she’d told me she had taken a pregnancy test, and she was done with me,” he said. “She never even told me when he was born. She told me about six months later, and she reiterated that she didn’t want me in the picture. It didn’t exactly feel real.” It was a stupid thing to say to a pregnant woman, and he knew it. “I was wrong, okay?”

“Yes, you were.” She nodded. “But you know what hurts the most? You didn’t trust me enough to tell me. You were a dad. There was a little person out there with your DNA. You had to feel something.”

“Of course I felt something!” Dan erupted. “And a whole lot of what I felt was shame!”

Beth didn’t answer, but the fire in her eyes dwindled, and she dropped her gaze.

“I walked away from my child, Beth.” His voice wavered. “I hated myself for that. Forgive me for not wanting you to hate me, too.”

They stared at each other for a couple of beats. These were old hurts, ones he’d thought he’d dealt with, but standing here with Beth, it all felt raw. She’d wanted him to share his feelings—but she came from a rather privileged position. She came from a well-respected family who struggled with their own issues, granted, but would she have understood what his life had been like in Vancouver? How empty he felt? How stupid he felt for getting involved with a woman he knew he had no future with?

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