Никки Логан – Maybe Baby: One Small Miracle (страница 17)
He laughed, his normally in-control face, like a carving of Alexander the Great, was alight with teasing pride. ‘Would you believe it? I saw it left by the road near the airstrip. It’s a bit busted up, but I’ll fix it before she needs to sleep tonight. It’s wet, but it’s all plastic coated so all we have to do is wipe it down. I bought a few thin pillows to use as a mattress for her. So you don’t need to worry about her safety. The baby’s got a bed.’
Anna had had to swallow a lump in her throat. This wasn’t the man she’d married. Her Jared would never have noticed a collapsible cot, let alone stopped to get it.
Or maybe he would. He’d saved the lives of two kids by diving into a swollen, raging river, had flown through dangerous storms to help others.
Flown through thunderclouds to reach her in the time he’d promised.
He’d found the cot for her. The way he didn’t even call Melanie by name told her how little he wanted to bond with a baby that wasn’t his. But he’d gone to all this trouble to make her happy. Even if he’d done it to keep her in bed with him, to stop her from needing to sleep with the baby, he’d still made Melanie more comfortable.
She should have known he’d do it. Whatever she’d ever given him, Jared had always found ways to return it tenfold.
‘I can’t believe you managed all this without anyone noticing,’ she said as they kept unstacking. ‘But I’m not really surprised. You always did come up with brilliant plans.’
After a short silence, he shrugged. ‘We’ll have to wait until after dark to bring in the baby supplies. You know how curious Mrs Button can be.’
‘Good plan.’ She refused to create new unspoken tension between them, after all the debacles yesterday. Him being away had given her time to think. The adoption authorities would want to see a happy, loving couple here, not tense silences and discord, if she wanted any hope of keeping Melanie. She had to keep things light and happy. ‘Thank you,’ she said as she helped him unpack the plane. ‘I really appreciate it.’
He glanced outside then moved on her, so close she could smell the honest sweat on him, taste the desire he never wanted to hide from her. Her body, already stirring in response to his wet shirt, flared to life with the touch of his cool skin in the watery heat. ‘There’s a better way to thank me, one I think we’d both enjoy.’ He lifted her face and kissed her, hard and hungry.
Before she knew it her hands were in his hair. Cooling heated palms on the raindrops running through it; she moved against him, with a soft sound of exultation and need.
They kissed until they both forgot where they were, slowly dropping to the ground, undressing each other with trembling fingers. Jared was lying on her, and she gloried in the feel of his taut body on hers, the hard arousal—
Suddenly an alert went off in her mind. What was she doing—again? The more she gave in to this, the more right he had to hope she wouldn’t leave. And things would go back to the way they’d always been. A hard life, a satisfying life, loving the land and the work, but.
She pushed him away an inch. ‘I’ve got to go in to Melanie,’ she said softly, kissing him once more so he didn’t think she was angry or withdrawing from him. He’d done so much for her. ‘She’ll be waking soon.’
Expecting some curt or cutting words about Melanie and her priorities, she almost started when he smiled at her again and helped her to her feet. ‘Put the oven on when you go in, will you? Lunch needs reheating. I’ll find a way to get these things in under cover before Ellie Button dies of curiosity.’
Anna blinked and shook her head. ‘Is this an alien abduction? Who is this man who actually seems to want to talk, and when will you take me to your leader?’
He bent and kissed her again, his chuckle making her lips vibrate. ‘From James Bond to
‘I think that alien was a stepmother,’ she whispered back, the soft, breathy laugh touching his lips as his touched hers. The shock sent tingling through her, but it was a pleasant, sensual vibration. She might barely recognise this Jared, but whoever this man was she
Shaken by the thought, she turned away from him, gathered the lunch sack and dinner basket under each arm, drew a deep breath and bolted through the sheets of water to the house. She needed space, distance from this new, fun, exciting Jared. Wanting him she could handle; but liking and wanting him at once was dangerously close to emotions that could see her walking voluntarily back into the Jarndirri cage.
She could never go back to that. A life of being what her father had wanted, what Jared had wanted, instead of what
She ran through the back door, soaking wet in fifty metres, to hear Melanie’s voice through the open bedroom door. The baby wasn’t crying; she was making
Melanie seemed remarkably resilient to strangers, happy to go with her. If Rosie didn’t change her mind, Melanie could be happy with her.
Grabbing the opportunity while the baby was happy, she put lunch in the oven, turned it on and ran to the bathroom to dry off the water running in rivulets down her skin. Despite the happy play, she couldn’t risk Melanie getting bored, crawling out of her bassinette and rolling off the bed. The sooner that travel cot was ready, the better.
‘She seems a happy baby,’ Jared said as he joined her in the bathroom nearest the main bedroom, the one that had always been theirs.
She snapped back, her face muffled in a towel, ‘Why shouldn’t she be?’
Then she felt ashamed. Why had an innocuous remark instantly put her on the defensive?
Though he said nothing at first, Jared’s gaze burned right through the towel to make her cheeks heat up. ‘No reason,’ was all he said, his tone light yet penetrating, and what he’d left unsaid hung in the air between them like an accusation.
She hung up the towel, but still didn’t look at him. Her recent discovery of new feelings for the man she thought she knew was too raw, too frightening to keep thinking about. ‘I’ll grab her while you set the table.’
‘I need to—Sure,’ he amended, and she knew he’d seen her stiffen. ‘Can you help me feed the animals and shovel out the muck this afternoon?’
‘Of course I can.’ Then she frowned. ‘But what do we do with Melanie?’
‘The cot’s portable, remember? There are also some of yours and Lea’s kiddie toys in the attic. I’ll grab them before we go out. She should be happy enough being in sight of us—and she might like the animals too. Most babies do.’
‘Good thought.’ They’d both been exposed to farm animals before they’d been able to sit up, put on ponies before their first birthdays. If Melanie was going to live here—
She skidded to a shocked mental halt. That wasn’t and never would be the plan, no matter what Jared believed, or made deals over. She’d make sure he didn’t want her to stay … then she could find a life of her own at last, and he’d be free. ‘I’ll get her,’ she said curtly, and walked out before he could say anything else to set her
Melanie was chewing on a pillow, grabbing others and dropping them, laughing in baby delight at her accomplishments.
When she saw Anna coming for her, she gurgled and lifted her arms—and Anna’s heart flipped with joy and tenderness. Yes, superimposed over Melanie’s beautiful dimpled face was, maybe always would be, Adam’s, but she was a beautiful girl in her own right, and deserved a mother’s love as much as Anna craved to give it.
Sometimes in the past year she’d thought about having children by other means, such as adoption—but part of her kept believing that she couldn’t possibly love a child not of her own body as she’d loved Adam. Would she resent that poor child more than she’d love them?
That worry, and the deeper knowledge that she couldn’t put another set of parents through the anguish of loss had held her back from giving in to the darkest temptation when she’d seen a baby outside a store in a pram, looking so alone and neglected.
‘Thank God I didn’t know,’ she whispered as she gathered Melanie’s warm limbs into her arms, cuddling her close.
‘Thank God.’
‘For what?’
She stilled for a moment, fury filling her for him thinking he had the right to come on her in this private moment. Even worse was the knowledge that her promise
The air crackled with expectation—his and hers. Pivotal moments came to every marriage. She could keep playing the good girl, or be a woman and tell the truth.