Налини Сингх – Secrets In The Marriage Bed (страница 3)

He scowled. “What kind of question is that? Of course you were my wife. You still are. And if you’d get over this separate-bedrooms crap, we could start working on making things right.”

If I’m your wife, she wanted to scream, then why did you do that with Miranda? But that wasn’t something she was strong enough to face yet—four months of distance from the event hadn’t even formed a scab on the wound. “This is not crap, Caleb. This is real, so start paying attention—for once in your life, pay attention to your marriage!”

Swiveling on her heel, she walked out of the room. From behind her came the harsh sounds of Caleb swearing and throwing something at the wall, but he didn’t follow her. Relieved, she entered her own room, knowing she was close to an emotional meltdown. It was one thing to coach herself on how to handle Caleb when it was only hypothetical, and quite another to be faced with the full force of his personality.

She’d spent her marriage unable to say what needed to be said because she’d been too weak to stand up to the force of nature that was Caleb Callaghan. Having him home scared her—what if she crumpled again, losing everything she’d gained in the months they’d been apart, months in which she’d made herself take a critical look at her life?

What she’d seen hadn’t been pretty. But at least she was facing her mistakes now, facing the mess of their marriage. Getting Caleb to do the same would be a major battle, but she’d made a beginning two months ago when she’d gambled everything on a throw of the dice and asked him for a divorce.

It had been a move born of desperation and staked on Caleb’s stubborn refusal to admit defeat in any arena. She’d wanted to shake him out of his complacency, to make him see that the life they’d been living wasn’t a life at all, merely an existence. Despite her hurt over what he’d done with Miranda during that business trip to Wellington, she hadn’t wanted to give up on the dream that had first brought them together.

But not even for that dream had she been willing to continue hiding behind the perfect facade of their fractured marriage. So she’d thrown the dice. And waited for Caleb to pick them up.

He hadn’t let her down. Though he’d moved out, he’d made sure he had contact with her almost every day. Now, the unexpected gift of their baby had given them more time, time enough for Caleb to get to know her, to begin to understand the woman she’d always been beneath the brittle shell of breeding and culture.

After he understood who she was, he’d have to decide whether or not he wanted to remain married to her, whether or not he wanted to fight to fix a marriage she wasn’t sure could be fixed. Vicki had no intention of ever again donning the mask of a fashion-conscious socialite wife. The question was, what if that was exactly the kind of woman Caleb wanted?

A woman who’d go her own way and not demand anything from him but money and a place in society; a woman who’d turn the other cheek when infidelity raised its ugly head; a woman who’d never dream of destroying her upper-class lifestyle by divorcing her husband because he didn’t love her.

Two

Caleb was in a foul mood. He’d fully expected to spend the night with his wife, but instead had tossed and turned in the guest bedroom while Vicki lay feet away. By the time the shrill ring of the alarm woke him, all of his nerves had been rubbed raw.

He didn’t understand why Vicki was doing this to them—she’d never acted so unreasonably before. How could she expect them to pretend to be separated when they were both living in the same house and she was about to have his baby, for God’s sake? As far as he was concerned, separate beds were not part of the marriage deal. And he’d missed her, damn it. Hadn’t she missed him even a bit?

After a quick shower, he pulled on his suit jacket and walked into the kitchen, expecting a cold welcome from the woman he’d spent the night dreaming about. Vicki stood at the counter pouring coffee into his cup. His mood elevated. “I half expected you to tell me to fend for myself.” That was what she’d done in the last weeks before their separation.

She rolled her eyes. “If I didn’t feed you, you’d live on takeout.”

He slid onto a stool on the other side of the counter, luxuriating in the feel of being home again. In spite of the hours he’d worked as a rising young lawyer, he’d restored this villa with his own hands. It had been his escape from the combative world in which he spent much of his life.

When he’d married Vicki, the villa had only been partially restored and he’d expected her to balk at the work remaining, but she’d lit up at the prospect. She’d done a lot of the finishing work herself—he’d often come home to a wife with paint-stained skin and scraped knuckles.

Almost a year later, they’d had a bright, airy home stamped with their personalities. Some of the happiest days of their marriage had been spent covered in paint and sawdust, with only each other’s voices for company.

“Do vending-machine snacks count as proper food?” he asked, trying to tease his way back into their normal routine. The separation had been hell—he had no intention of returning to that empty existence, no matter what he had to do to convince Vicki.

She gave him an arch look and broke a couple of eggs into a bowl. “I hope you’re joking.”

Caleb knew how to cook. Forced by circumstance, he’d learned to do so as a young child, feeding both himself and his younger sister when his parents became too caught up in themselves. But from the first day of their marriage, Vicki had taken over the kitchen and he’d let her. It had always been one of his secret pleasures that his wife cared enough about him to ensure he ate properly. No one else had ever bothered.

Which was why it had hurt so much when she’d stopped.

Taking the coffee, along with the plate of scrambled eggs and bacon she passed over, he tried out a smile. “Aren’t you joining me?” Breakfast was one of the few meals they’d managed to share regularly. He wondered what she’d do if she knew that he’d skipped breakfast while living at the hotel, unable to bear her absence. Not that he had any intention of telling her.

She made a face. “I think I’ll wait an hour or so.”

“You okay, sweetheart?”

Her lips curved into a smile that sucker punched him with its beauty. “Just a tiny bit of morning sickness that’s actually hitting in the morning, for once.”

“Doesn’t it always?” He was fascinated by the life growing inside of her, hoped she wouldn’t shut him out of the experience the way she’d shut him out of her bed.

She shook her head. “No. It comes and goes on its own schedule. But I’m lucky—I haven’t really had it bad at all. Eat or you’ll be late.”

Obeying, he watched her move around the kitchen dressed in jeans and a sea-green cardigan that looked so touchable, he wondered if she’d worn it to torment him. His hands itched to mold themselves over her slender frame. Her three-month-old pregnancy wasn’t yet visible and she looked much as she’d done when they’d married, but as he’d learned last night, things had changed.

“Toast.” She plucked two pieces out of the toaster, buttered them and handed them over.

As he took them, his gaze fell on a pale pink envelope sitting on the far end of the counter next to the fruit bowl. “What’s that?”

“A card from Mother.”

He eyed her carefully. “What does it say?”

“Only that she might be visiting Auckland in a week or two to catch up with me. Eat.” She waved a hand at him and walked over to put the envelope in the back pocket of her jeans.

Caleb wondered if she really felt as carefree as she was making out. Danica Wentworth’s infrequent interruptions of Vicki’s life tended to leave his wife distraught. He’d tried to broach the subject with her more than once, but she’d backed away with alacrity that spoke of such deep pain, he’d never pursued it. In truth, part of him worried that if he pushed her on this point, she might push back, and there were things about his childhood he wanted no one to know.

But that same childhood had also given him the tools to understand her wariness. What child would want to remember the woman who’d abandoned her to pursue a lover? Though that man had gone on to marry another, Danica remained in a relationship with him to this day—she’d never left him like she’d left her four-year-old daughter. Worse, she had entrusted Vicki to her ex-husband’s mother, Ada, a woman about as maternal as a gutter snake.

Vicki shot him a curious look when he continued to stare at her. “What?”

“Nothing.” Nothing that he could put into words.

He ached to walk over and wrap her in his arms, to show her what he felt. It seemed as though he’d spent eternity aching to hold his wife. But always he stopped, knowing that she wouldn’t welcome such advances. That moment in his office yesterday had been an aberration. She’d been upset and vulnerable and he’d acted on instinct.

“Are you going to court today?” She eyed his black suit and to his surprise, came over to fix the collar of his shirt. The woman-scent of her went straight to his heart.