Michelle Major – A Baby And A Betrothal (страница 8)
“It’s fine.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “I keep the regular can in the garage. There’s nothing he can mess with over there. I’d better go in, though. Early morning at the bakery.”
Matt kept his wary gaze on the side of her house. “I had a great time, Katie. I’ll call you soon. You should get in the house.” He flashed a smile but waited for her to climb the steps before turning to his Explorer.
Katie waved as he drove away. She stood there a minute longer until his taillights disappeared around the corner. Blowing out a frustrated breath, she tapped one foot against the wood planks of the porch. “You can come out now,” she called into the darkness. A few seconds later, Tater trotted onto the porch, tail wagging. Katie bent and scratched the dog’s ears. Tater immediately flipped onto her back.
“Slut,” Katie whispered as she ran her fingers through the Lab’s soft fur. She didn’t want to think about how much she had in common with Tater, since Katie’s instinct was to beg for loving every time she thought about Noah. Even at her angriest she wanted him, which made her more pathetic than she was willing to admit.
She commanded herself to woman up as Noah hopped onto her porch and leaned against the wood rail.
“Are you afraid to come any closer?” she asked, straightening. Tater flipped to her feet and headed into the box spruce bushes that ran along the front of the house.
“Should I be?” His voice was low and her body—stupid, traitorous body—immediately reacted. The darkness of the night lent a sort of intimacy to their exchange that Katie tried her best to ignore.
She forced herself not to look at him standing in the shadows. She was stronger than she had been a week ago, committed to moving on from her silly girlhood crush. The fact that the object of that crush had just crashed a very promising first date was irrelevant. “What are you doing here, Noah?”
“Protecting you.”
She huffed out a laugh. “From a really nice guy who might actually be interested in me?” She turned for the house, opening the screen door. “Excuse me if I forget to thank you.”
Her fingers had just touched the door handle when Noah was beside her, reaching out to grab her wrist. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, releasing her when she tugged away from his grasp. “I did want to make sure you were okay.”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I don’t know.” He raked his fingers through his blond hair, leaving the ends sticking out all over. It should have made him look silly, but to Katie it was a reminder of running her own hands through his hair when he’d held her. “I’ve been a lousy friend, and this isn’t my place. I’ve told you I can’t give you what you want. We both know that. But...you’re alone here, Katie.”
Her lungs shut down for a second as sharp pain lanced through her at his words. Then she gasped and his gaze met hers, a mix of tenderness and sympathy that had her blinking back sudden tears. He knew, she realized. Her biggest fear, the one nobody recognized because she kept it so hidden. As busy as she was, as much as everyone in this community needed her, at the end of the day Katie was alone. Alone and afraid that if she didn’t make herself useful, they’d toss her aside. It was irrational, she knew, but she couldn’t seem to stop herself from believing it. Without the bakery and her volunteering and offers to help wherever it was needed, where would she be? Who would want her—who would love her—if she didn’t have something to give them?
Could Noah possibly understand? And if he did, how could she ever look at him again?
He paced to the edge of the porch and back. “When was the last time you saw your parents?”
Her mouth dropped open and she clapped it shut again. “Two summers ago. They had a layover in Denver. Dad had just finished an Ironman in Europe.”
“They didn’t come to Crimson?”
She shook her head. “He wanted to get back to his business. His coaching business has exploded in the past few years. He still races but spends more time training other elite athletes.” He continued to watch her, so she added, “Mom and Dad haven’t been here since my grandma’s funeral.”
“So no one in your family has seen the changes you’ve made to the bakery? How successful you’ve made it.”
“It was successful when Gram ran it.”
“Not to the level it is now. Do your parents have any idea?”
“They wanted me to sell the shop and the house after Gram died. Mom never liked me working at the bakery. You know that.” She smoothed a hand across her stomach. “She didn’t think it was good for me to be near all that sugary temptation. She was afraid I’d get fat again.”
“You weren’t fat.”
She almost smiled, but the memory of so many years of being ashamed about her weight and having every mouthful of food analyzed by her mother drained any wistful humor she felt about the past. “You don’t remember when I first moved to Crimson. By the time you started dating Tori in high school, I was halfway to the goal weight my parents set for me.”
“I remember you just fine.” Noah shrugged. “I just never saw you like that.”
Katie suppressed a sigh. Was it any wonder she’d fallen in love with him back then? She bit down on her lip, forcing herself to keep the walls so newly erected around her heart in place. “You never saw me at all.”
* * *
As if he needed that reminder, Noah thought, as Katie’s words hung in the air between them. He should walk away right now. It had been a stupid, impulsive idea to show up at her house when he knew she had a date. He had no business intruding on her life.
“I’m a jackass, Katie-bug,” he said with a laugh then cringed when she didn’t correct him. “But I wasn’t lying when I said I wanted you to be happy. I came here because... I guess it doesn’t matter why. I want to be a better friend if you’ll let me.” He shut his eyes for a moment, clenched his fists then focused on her. “Even if that means vetting your dates for you.”
She arched one eyebrow, a look so out of place and yet so perfect on her he had to fight not to reach for her again.
“Matt Davis is a good guy.”
Her eyes narrowed. “How do you know my date’s name?”
“I asked around.” He shrugged. “I’m sorry if I cut your night short. I’m sorry I keep doing things that make me have to apologize to you.” He flashed a smile. “Good night, Katie.”
He stepped around her onto the porch steps.
“Noah?”
He turned. His name on her tongue was soft. The same tenderness that had annoyed him earlier from his mother now made him want to melt against Katie. To beg her not to give up on him.
“I’ll be praying for your mom tomorrow.” She wrapped her arms tight around herself as if she was also trying to hold herself back. “And you.”
He gave a quick jerk of his head in response then took off into the night. He couldn’t stand there and let her watch his eyes fill with tears. Her kindness slayed him, made him want and wish for things that weren’t going to be. Even now, as he moved down the quiet street, Tater’s breathing soft at his side, he wanted to run. The feelings that had bubbled to the surface at his mom’s house earlier were still churning inside of him. It was part of what had driven him to Katie tonight.
After his mom and Emily had gone to bed, the farmhouse had been so quiet that Noah’s mind had gone into overdrive. Thinking and remembering. Two pastimes he’d tried like hell to avoid the past decade. His job kept him moving and he surrounded himself with friends—and women—during his downtime. Noah was always up for a good time as long as there were no strings attached. It was what had affected his friendship with Katie. Like his mom, she wanted more from him. She knew the serious stuff, the demons that haunted him, and it had been easier to keep her at arm’s length than to see himself fail at living up to her expectations.
But he couldn’t run any longer. He was tethered to this town and to the women in his life by an unbreakable, invisible thread. He wasn’t sure whether he had it in him to become what each of them needed, but it was past time he tried.
The next morning dawned far too early. Noah moved on autopilot as he drove his mother along with Emily and Davey toward Denver. His mom tuned the radio to her favorite station, all of them silent as music filled the SUV. He expected Emily to initiate some sort of conversation, but when he glanced at her in the rearview mirror, all her attention was focused on Davey watching a movie on his iPad. Normally the winding drive down into the city calmed Noah, but he hardly noticed the scenery. His mom worked quietly on her knitting until they arrived at the hospital.
She’d already had her pre-op visit and filled out most of the paperwork, so it was only a short wait at registration before she was admitted. They stayed with her until she was moved to the OR, emotion lodging in Noah’s throat as she kissed his cheek.
“I love you, Mom,” he called as they wheeled her through the double doors.
She waved, her smile cheery as she disappeared.
He felt Emily sag against him and wrapped one arm around her shoulders. “She’s going to be fine.”