Maureen Child – At Her Service: His Baby! / Major Attraction (страница 7)

Late-afternoon sunlight streamed through the window and set the fiery colors of her hair aflame. A half smile curved her lips, and the unmistakable sheen of tears clouded her eyes as she looked at him with their daughter. “She likes you already.”

He hoped so. “Kelly …”

She shook her head before he could get started. “Don’t start the marriage thing again, Jeff. Please.”

“Did you really think I wouldn’t want to get married?”

She laughed shortly and scooped a handful of her hair back from her forehead. “I didn’t know what to think. Jeff, we hardly knew each other.”

He didn’t believe that. In the two weeks he’d spent with Kelly, he’d felt closer to her than he had to anyone else in his life. And he knew she’d felt the same connection. What other reason was there for two perfect strangers to meet and then spend every waking minute together?

Okay, sure, there was the physical side of it. The sex had been amazing. But there was more there than just the lovemaking. They’d talked, and taken long walks on the beach. She’d told him about her job as a kindergarten teacher, and he’d told her all about the Corps and what it meant to him to belong. Maybe they hadn’t learned everything about each other then—he certainly didn’t remember hearing about four brothers—but it hadn’t been a casual fling. He’d had enough of those to know the difference.

“You knew, Kelly,” he said softly, daring her to deny it. “You knew I’d want to marry you.”

She sighed heavily and admitted, “Yes. I guess I did.” After all, her brother Kevin was a Marine, and that was exactly what he would have done in this position. And precisely what he’d insisted all along that Jeff do as soon as he returned. The Marines must drill honor and duty into these guys day and night, she told herself.

But even as that thought entered her mind, she discounted it. It wasn’t the Corps talking here. It was Jeff. She’d known from the first moment she met him that he was a decent, responsible man. It was only natural that he would propose. Just as natural as it was for her to refuse him. “Then what’s the problem?” Jeff asked. “The problem,” she said, tipping her head back so she could meet his gaze squarely, “is that a baby is not reason enough to get married.”

He snorted a choked-off laugh. “I don’t know why not.”

“Because we’d be getting married for all the wrong reasons.”

“To protect Emily is the wrong reason?” “Of course not,” she snapped, and then lowered her voice when the baby’s eyes went wide and confused. “But we don’t have to be married to protect our daughter.”

“To protect her from some things we do.” “Like?”

He ground his teeth together for a long minute, then blurted, “Like to keep her from being called a bastard, for instance.”

Kelly drew her head back and stared at him. Was he serious? “For heaven’s sake, Jeff. This isn’t the fifties. There’s no stigma attached to a child anymore.”

He shifted his gaze from her to their daughter. “Maybe not to adults, but other kids know just how to hurt each other. And trust me when I tell you that sticks and stones aren’t the only things that can hurt a child.”

Old pain flashed across his features and was gone again so quickly, Kelly couldn’t be sure she’d seen it at all. But listening to the sound of his voice convinced her that he’d had some experience with nasty children.

“We can love her enough that it won’t matter to her,” she said, laying one hand on his arm.

“It’ll matter,” Jeff said quietly. “She won’t say so, but it’ll matter.”

Her heart ached for the boy he’d once been, but because he’d suffered didn’t mean the same thing would happen to Emily. She would keep her daughter safe. She would go on providing a warm, loving home for her. And she didn’t need a husband to do it.

All her life, Kelly had been surrounded by men trying to tell her what to do and how to do it. She’d learned young how to stand up for herself, how to withstand well-meant bullying, and she wasn’t about to back up now. The one thing she didn’t need in her life was one more male issuing orders.

“Then I’ll just have to teach her to ignore them.”

“Damn it, Kelly,” he said, tearing his gaze from the baby still clutched tightly to his chest, “we made this baby. It’s our responsibility to take care of her.”

She sighed inwardly. It was a hard thing to fight against a man’s sense of honor. But she wouldn’t be the pill he had to swallow. The medicine he had to take. The bed he had to lie in simply because he’d made it.

“Jeff,” she said, “you don’t owe me anything. I’m perfectly capable of raising Emily on my own.”

“I didn’t say you weren’t.”

“I know, but you’re not listening to me. I didn’t want anything from you. I just wanted you to be able to know your daughter.”

“Kelly …”

She shook her head, and hoped he would quit arguing. That he would accept her decision and let it be. But she had a feeling there was as much chance of that as seeing snow on an Easter Sunday at the beach.

A part of her wished things could be different. Those two weeks with Jeff had been almost … magical. She’d never felt such an instant oneness with anyone before. It was as if from the moment he’d plucked her unconscious from the ocean and breathed life back into her, they’d been bound together. He touched her in so many ways. Her heart ached when he left, and she’d looked back on every minute of their time together, wondering if she’d somehow imagined it all.

Until, of course, the stick turned blue and she’d discovered she was pregnant. Then it was all too real. Then she was left to wonder about Jeff, worrying about where he was, what he was doing—while at the same time dealing with her own changing life. And four irate brothers.

And now that Jeff was back, the magic between them was still there. She’d felt it the moment he’d kissed her out on the front lawn. But it wasn’t just the two of them anymore. Now there was Emily to consider.

And how could she agree to marry Jeff, knowing that he’d only proposed because of their daughter? She didn’t want a husband who felt as though he’d been pushed into a marriage. Heck, she’d never really wanted a husband at all. She didn’t need one more man in her life, even if it was the man who could set her body on fire with no more than a glance.

A quick flush of heat stole over her body, and in an effort to conceal it, she snatched the baby from Jeff’s arms and held her tight. She ought to be ashamed, hiding behind her daughter. But at the moment, she was too desperate to argue the point.

“Emily deserves a mother and a father,” he said, his gaze moving over his child’s features as if he just couldn’t look at her enough.

Kelly fought back a thread of temper. She’d give him a little leeway here. After all, he’d only just found out about Emily. “She has a mother and a father,” she said, proud of her quiet self-control.

“Together, Kelly,” he said, in a tone that reminded her far too much of her brothers when they were on a “we-know-best” kick.

Instinctively, Kelly’s spine went ramrod straight.

“She deserves to have two parents. Together.” Jeff threw his hands wide. “Hell, every kid deserves that!”

That last sentence came a little loud for Emily’s tastes, and the little girl screwed up her face and let out a wail that had Jeff’s face blanching.

“What is it?” he asked. “What’s wrong with her?”

“What’s wrong,” Kelly snapped, feeling the last of her patience unravel, “is that her father shouted and scared her.”

Shame swept across his features, and he ducked his head and winced when Emily kept crying. “I didn’t mean to scare her.”

“I know that,” Kelly said. “She, unfortunately, doesn’t.”

Jiggling the baby in her arms, she cooed and whispered to her, inhaling the sweet, soft scent that was Emily’s alone. And as the baby quieted again, Kelly felt her heart swell to bursting with love for this tiny person who was so much a part of her world now, she couldn’t imagine life without her. Looking up at Jeff, she saw regret shining in his eyes and took pity on him. “It’s okay, Jeff. She’s fine.” “She’s got a great set of lungs,” he muttered, and winced again when the baby turned a tearstained face toward him. He reached out one hand to her, but before he could touch her, he curled his fingers into a tight fist and let his hand drop to his side. “Look, Kelly,” he said, “maybe I said this all wrong. And I know that wasn’t the most romantic proposal in the world. But I just want to do the right thing here.”

“I know that, Jeff,” she said. “I really do. But getting married just isn’t it.”

Kelly noticed his jaw muscle twitch and she knew she hadn’t heard the last of this conversation. He had thirty days’ leave, and knowing Jeff, he would be there every day of it. He would slide back into her life. Into Emily’s life.

And she didn’t know if she could stand that, knowing that he’d only be leaving again.

Five

Back at his hotel room … alone, Jeff sat in the dark staring out at the moonlit ocean five floors below him. From a distance, he heard voices drifting in the night air and knew that other couples had found each other in the darkness. And he felt more isolated than he ever had before.