Margaret Barker – A Father for Baby Rose (страница 3)

Taking a sip of his wine, he tried to blot out everything that had happened on that fateful day when his life had changed for ever. He put the glass down on the table. Looking across at the sympathetic expression on Cathy’s face, he suddenly found his tongue loosening as if he was in an involuntary state of relaxation.

“My wife was killed in a car crash.” He didn’t need to say anything more but the guilt that always rose up inside him when he thought about the circumstances surrounding her death—which was often—was nagging him to confess more to this obviously sympathetic colleague.

“I often wonder…” He paused. He didn’t need to go on. He didn’t need to torment himself further. “I often wonder if I could have prevented it.”

There, he’d said it out loud; revealed the horrible nightmare that returned over and over again when he reviewed what had happened.

The child stirred against him. In some ways he found the small body tucked against the crook of his arm very comforting. His thoughts returned to the present situation. He waited for the agony of his confession to make him feel awful but he felt strangely comforted to have shared this with Cathy— and the sleeping baby, although, thank goodness, the little mite couldn’t hear him.

Cathy was simply looking across the table with a bewildered expression on her lovely face as she stretched out her hand towards him. With his free hand he took hold of Cathy’s and felt a sympathetic, most welcome squeeze of her fingers. Something like an electric shock—a pleasant one—travelled up his arm.

For a few seconds they remained like that, simply looking at each other. She thought she could discern the tears that threatened behind his eyes but doubted that he’d ever allowed them to fall since whatever dreadful tragedy had taken place. She could tell this man was made of stern stuff. Strong backbone, wouldn’t give in to self-pity but also found it hard to communicate the grief that was holding him back from getting on with a normal life.

Yannis took his hand away and leaned back in his chair, taking care not to disturb Rose. “I’m sorry to talk about the car crash like this. I’ve never discussed it with anybody before. I can’t think why…”

“Maybe you should.”

“Should what?” He looked alarmed.

“Discuss it with somebody. Me, for a start. It always helps if you talk a problem over with somebody.”

He was silent as he thought of all the aspects of the tragedy surrounding Maroula’s death. No, he couldn’t discuss it openly with this woman he hardly knew. He shouldn’t even have got so close to her that he felt he could trust her with his feelings. He couldn’t think what had come over him. In a way it was a betrayal of trust to Maroula’s memory. What had happened was part of his life with his wife and no one else. And yet…

“You don’t have to discuss it with me,” Cathy said. “It’s entirely up to you. I would, however, be the soul of discretion so if you ever think it would help you to…”

“Thanks, I’ll remember that.”

His tone was firm, final, signifying they should move on. He was already regretting the fact that he’d allowed himself to talk about his beloved Maroula with someone he hardly knew. Discussing his feelings of guilt—something he’d never spoken about out loud before—wasn’t going to bring her back.

Anyway, he was settled in his bachelor ways now. The future was mapped out and he didn’t want to become close enough to any other person to allow them to break through the emotional barrier he’d erected around himself. He needed to retreat behind his safe barrier again. Back to Maroula. He was being unfaithful to her memory, something he’d vowed would never happen.

Little Rose wriggled in Yannis’s arms, rubbing her chubby fists against her eyes before she opened them and stared up at him. A big smile spread across her face.

Cathy stood up and moved round the table, holding out her arms towards her daughter.

Rose lifted her arms towards Cathy.

Yannis couldn’t help smiling as he handed over the little girl. “There you go, Rose. What a good little girl you’ve been.”

Michaelis came out of the taverna to see if he could get something for the baby.

“I’ve got some fruit juice in her baby cup,” Cathy said, sitting down once more on her seat, baby on one arm as she searched through her shoulder-bag. “Here it is.”

Rose was already halfway across the table, reaching for a piece of calamari and dunking it into the taramasalata.

“Bravo!” Yannis said. “Rose is hungry.”

“She loves calamari, as you can see.” Cathy wiped a paper napkin round her daughter’s face to remove some of the taramasalata. Rose pushed her mother’s hand away as she savoured the delicious taste in her mouth.

“I’ve prepared some lamb souvlaki on the barbecue,” Michaelis said, looking enquiringly from Yannis to Cathy. “Shall I bring them now?”

The lamb kebabs were delicious. Rose sucked on a tiny piece of tender meat then gummed it for a little while before depositing it on Cathy’s plate.

“She likes to try everything.”

Yannis smiled. “That’s good. By the time you’ve been here—remind me, how long is it you’re working at the hospital?”

“Six months. Tanya and Manolis have been offered a six-month sabbatical, if you remember.”

“Yes, yes. I remember signing your contract now. You were interviewed in London, I remember. Manolis has put me in charge of the day-to-day running of the medical and surgical side of the hospital while he’s away but I leave the paperwork to our efficient administration team. I knew you were coming in to work tomorrow but when you arrived briefly in Theatre this morning I couldn’t think who you were. Sorry if I was less than welcoming. I was in the middle of a difficult operation and—’

“Oh, please. I hadn’t realised that the theatre was in use. My fault.”

“I’ll take time to show you around tomorrow.”

“Thank you.”

Rose was now crushing a potato chip against her mouth before opening it and demolishing it with her four tiny white teeth. She wiped her hands over her blond curly hair and grinned happily.

“I think it’s time for me to take Rose home,” Cathy said, reaching for another paper napkin. “I’ve got the numbers of the taxi drivers in my mobile so I’ll see who’s free to come and get us.”

The brief twilight had faded already, she noticed as she punched in the first number on her list. That number was engaged. She tried the next on the list and was lucky this time.

“Theo will be with us in ten minutes,” she said as she closed her mobile.

“Good. I’m glad you’re not going to attempt to walk back. I’ll take your buggy home with me and ask Petros, the man who helps me in the garden, to see if he can mend it. He can mend most things.”

Except broken hearts, Cathy thought as she smiled her thanks. It was so obvious to her that Yannis’s heart would need a lot of tender loving care from a good woman. She certainly wasn’t the person to do it because she needed to keep her own life on track. Whoever took on the mending of Yannis’s heart would have a difficult job breaking down the barriers he’d built around himself.

She reminded herself firmly that whatever it was that that Yannis needed, she shouldn’t feel obliged to try and provide it. After all, she was always the one left wanting when she was barrelled into trying to smooth things along for people. Besides which, she wasn’t here to get too involved with another man, let alone a colleague she was going to have to work intimately with for the next six months.

Out loud she told Yannis that she didn’t think Grandma Anna would need the pushchair for a while.

“Rose is her youngest baby at the moment. Tanya told me she was getting withdrawal symptoms now that they were taking baby Jack over to Australia. Anna told me today she’s lost count of how many babies she’s cared for over the years.”

“She’s an amazing woman. But you must still find it hard, being a single parent and working full time as a doctor.”

“I’m very lucky. In England, my mother takes care of Rose when I’m working and here I’ve got Anna. I wanted to spend a short time away from Rose today to see how she would get on with Anna. She absolutely adores her already so I won’t have to worry about her when I’m working.”

“So why did you want to bring Rose out with you this evening?”

“I wanted to spend some quality time with her. Every mother’s guilt trip, I suppose. Working away from home and leaving her baby in the care of someone else.”

Yannis swallowed hard. “Guilt is a terrible affliction. We all suffer from it at times.”

She saw the worried look on his handsome face and wished she could conjure up that wonderful smile he’d had just a short time ago. She’d noticed the flash of his strong white teeth, the curve of his full, sensuous lips, the vulnerable expression in his dark, brooding, brown eyes.

She gave herself another mental talking-to. She wasn’t in the dating market any more. Neither, it seemed, was Yannis— wise man! Never again! Not after the disastrous relationships she’d suffered over the years. Life was going to be very good if she avoided meaningful relationships.

“I think this is your taxi coming along the coast road.”