Lynda Sandoval – Lexy's Little Matchmaker (страница 2)
Ian searched his face for a moment, checking for the truth of his words. Finally he nodded once. “Good.” He paused. “But Daddy?”
“Yes?”
“How come there are so many mommies in heaven?”
The question hit Drew like a body slam. “There are a lot of people in heaven, big guy. Not just mommies.”
They hiked in relatively calm silence through patches of dappled sunshine for a few moments. When they reached a tunnel of shade created by thick, overarching tree branches, Ian dropped his hand. “I miss her. A lot. Is it okay to say that?”
Drew draped his hand across Ian’s shoulders and pulled him closer, fighting the urge to stop, to wrap his arms around Ian, to succumb to the pall of mourning. Neither of them needed that. “Of course. I miss her, too. But let’s have a fun day, yeah? The kind your mom would’ve liked.”
“Okay,” Ian said. “I don’t like being sad.”
“Neither do I, Ian. Neither do I.”
They managed to get through several minutes talking about the terrain and trees, about the colorful striations in the rocks and what they meant. They managed, just for a little while, to set their grief aside and enjoy a normal father-and-son moment.
A few paces after a switchback carried them once again into the buttery sunlight, they came upon a vast field of stunning, bright-orange flowers—Gina’s favorite color. Bright-eyed and happy for the first time in days, Ian stopped short and bounced on the nubby soles of his hiking boots. “Look!” he exclaimed, as if it were a clear sign that his hike-up-high-to-mommy plan had been on-target.
“I see. They’re beautiful. Just like Mommy, right?”
“I know. Can I pick some for her? Please? To leave for the star angels so they don’t miss my card?”
“Sure, pal. Whatever you’d like.” Ian bounded into the field, all cowlicks and energy and thick rubber soles. Drew followed just to the edge. He’d give anything for Ian to be able to give those flowers to his mother in person, but that wasn’t possible. As much as losing her had left a gaping hole in their family, Drew was grateful her battle with “the beast,” as she’d called it, had ended. That was something, at least. A balm for the soul. Now all he wanted was to see his son happy again, whatever it took.
No more nightmares.
No more depression.
No more bed-wetting.
A boy of his age shouldn’t have to deal with those issues. Seeing Ian carefree, running through a field of flowers, Gina’s quirky favorite color, brought Drew a modicum of joy he sorely needed, especially on this saddest of days.
Ian whipped back, eyes bright and lively. “Come on!”
“You pick,” Drew said, waving him on. “I’ll arrange them in a bouquet as you gather them,” he said, as if he had the first clue about flower arranging.
Content just to watch his son thoughtfully gather the most beautiful blossoms as a memorial for his mother, Drew sat on a rock jutting out from the edge of the soft blanket of vibrant petals. Honestly? Days like this exhausted him emotionally and physically, straight down to his bones. Gina’s birthday, Ian’s birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, his and Gina’s wedding anniversary.
Family days.
He’d never planned on being a single father.
And yet, he was determined to do his best, even though a small part of him yearned to curl up and shut out the world until the day was over. Until his pain had eased. Until he could wrap his brain around the logic of a twenty-seven-year-old mother, in this day and age, dying from diabetes. She’d been diagnosed as a teenager, but had never accepted it, a fact that had always pissed him off. The familiar rush of guilt crested inside him, bringing back the times he’d accused Gina of being reckless with her health.
Reckless. He hated that they’d argued about it.
Screaming fights. Tears.
The undeniable truth was, Gina pushed herself too hard, stubbornly determined not to let the diabetes control her life. Instead of managing it, though, she’d laughed in its face. He understood her motivation, but it hadn’t worked. It would never work, which is what he’d told her. Why they’d fought. Not that it mattered in the end. Just as he’d feared, the diabetes had won, and he was just the jerk of a husband who’d argued with his headstrong, diabetic wife.
But all that? The past. What mattered now was that he was the grown man while Ian remained a child. Only four years old when Gina died. Drew had shoes older than that. Despite Gina’s infuriatingly stubborn nature, she was the mother of his son. Drew simply
Emotionally flattened, Drew blew out a breath and leaned his hands back on the hot, jagged rock.
The stings ripped through him like little searing shockwaves.
One, then another, and another. And more.
He hadn’t even seen the bees.
“Dammit.” He flailed, then shot to his feet, spinning this way and that to knock the bees off. How could he have been so careless? Where there are flowers, there are bees. Simple fact of nature.
An immediate rush of heat up his arm set the alarms clanging in his heart. The effects seemed much faster than his usual allergic reactions, which had always been bad enough. But this … probably due to the multiple stings.
Tamping down the panic, he inspected his forearm. Five stings that he could see, already swelling, with hives spreading well beyond the cherry-red bumps. His pulse kicked into overdrive and his face bloomed tight and hot. He recognized the signs of imminent anaphylaxis all too well. He’d been deathly allergic to bees since childhood and had brushed with the life-threatening condition more than once.
This could
Not today.
He needed to talk to his son before he was no longer able. Needed help. Needed it damn soon. “Ian!” he choked out, coughing through a tightening throat. Damn. His tongue had already begun to swell, as had his windpipe.
Ian pivoted toward him and froze, instantly on alert by the urgency of his dad’s tone.
Drew fumbled in his cargo pocket for the EpiPen he never left home without … then stilled. Empty.
No EpiPen? He numbed. Dread spread through him as fast as the bee venom.
He always carried his EpiPen.
Panic pushed through his veins and squeezed him; he couldn’t breathe. Shaking, he tore through his other pockets, partially ripping one flap off his hiking shorts. Nothing. He shrugged off his backpack then pawed through it, clumsy and slow, craving oxygen.
Stars burst in his vision as he watched his son run and stumble toward him, the carefully chosen orange wildflowers falling forgotten from the boy’s little hand. “Daddy! Daddy! What’s wrong?”
He wanted to reassure his son.
Wanted to make it all okay.
But couldn’t.
Gasping, choking, Drew sat, then slid back on the rock. He tried to keep the stung arm angled downward, to slow the venom’s attack on his body. The skin on his face and hands seemed stretched to its limit, fire-hot and apt to split open if he moved or spoke. When Ian’s terrified and confused face appeared above him, Drew didn’t have the option of many words. He reminded Ian of the most important ones. “Deer … Track.”
He labored for air, his vision blackening. The last thing he heard was Ian yelling for him to wake up.
Ian repeated the words in his head as he plowed through his daddy’s belongings looking for the medicine shot that was supposed to save his life if he ever got stung by a bee. But it wasn’t there. It wasn’t there! His heart pounded so hard, he could hear it in his head. His throat had gone dry and sore from his heavy breathing.
The shot was
Daddy had always told him,
“Mommy!” he wailed in panic and frustration, fists clenched as he glanced up at the fat white cloud.
No answer.
Why couldn’t she say something?
Wasn’t she supposed to be watching out for them?
He felt so alone. So scared. Tears squeezed out of his eyes. The breeze tilted the orange flowers in the field to one side, then the other. They didn’t look so pretty anymore.
Unsure what to do without the shot, he choked out a sob and shook his dad by the shoulders as hard as he could. It didn’t wake him up, but Daddy’s cell phone fell out of his shirt pocket just as Ian was about to lapse into full-on hysteria. The cell phone felt like a sign from Mommy.
Help!
He could get help for Daddy. That’s what Mommy was trying to tell him. Snatching up the phone, he pressed the three important numbers he’d had memorized since the police officer came to talk to his kindergarten class.