Лилла Сомн – Coffee Stained Pages. Part 3 (страница 1)
Coffee Stained Pages
Part 3
Lilla Somn
© Lilla Somn, 2026
© Lilla Somn, translation, 2026
© DeepSeek, translation, 2026
© Lilla Somn, cover design, 2026
ISBN 978-5-0069-2090-3 (т. 3)
ISBN 978-5-0067-1890-6
Created with Ridero smart publishing system
Light 39. How to Have Fun When You’re Ami
Ami opened her eyes.
Rain drummed softly against the entrance drape.
…She felt utterly drained.
The thought of getting up to face the light was ghastly.
She believed she could’ve slept through a minor cycle. Or until this whole wretched period of her life was over. Without her having to lift a head or even a finger.
Who would have thought that living a dream would be so heavy?
…Still. Best haul herself up and devise… some way to cheer up. Maybe.
Something to encourage her not to stay in bed for a minor cycle.
The Kantinian somehow managed to heave herself halfway up the bed… only to flop back down with a groan of relief.
And stay like that a while longer.
…Why get up? Why go to work? Why… anything?
What was the point in perpetuating this?
“Work gives food and shelter. That simple.”
For… what? Nothing in it compensated for the drudgery. No joy was worth it. Existence on a lightly basis sucks.
It had been this dreary so far. What was there to bank on?
“For a guaranteed fresh disappointment. To snatch as much knowledge and experience as possible before those punches finally break you. Just do it. You know.”
Stubbornness and curiosity. Very reasonable.
“Get up.”
A second attempt was almost successful. At least she slid right off the bed and ended up sprawled on the dusty floor. Well, she wasn’t under the blanket anymore.
She hauled herself weakly onto all fours and wearily crawled towards the washbasin.
“Don’t stop. You’ll ponder en route.”
She’d probably have to crawl halfway across town to work like this, too. What a light to be alive.
The weary servicewoman sat by the washbasin, opened the sluice cooled overnight, and let the equally frigid water rush into the niche. That would perk her up, no doubt.
She reluctantly scooped handfuls and plunged her face in.
…Oof!! It really did the trick!!
A cold lake might burn off some of the excess stress now… but it was too cold to think about it.
…How did they heat these kotties here, actually? Don’t tell her it’s witchery again.
Didn’t want to hear about it anymore. More unavailable stuff. That’s what it meant.
Amelia had never stayed long enough in Omill to notice. The guesthouses had spared her the bother.
She irritably splashed another generous helping of cold water over her face and neck, as if punishing herself for being unable to provide it, or trying to banish the thoughts. The sleepiness and anxiety faded indeed, but the discomfort peaked.
…Gnats! What a tricky balance.
But since the grave was not an option for now, it was necessary to maintain it. And a dry, warm drape would help a lot. The urge to just dive back under the blanket was still strong… Not an urge. A necessity.
She briskly, impatiently, ran to her bed and dived into the cold space under the blanket. …Just a moment. A nice little pleasure. To deny oneself was unjustifiable cruelty.
And now… it was time… to fling the warm drape over the damp nightshirt, give a vigorous shake, clip on the belt pouches, grab her bag, wrap in a waterproof cloak, and step out into the rain!
Wet and cold again. But slightly warmer because the water would be further from the skin.
“Are we ready? No time for doubts and listening to the echoes of the gloominess left. Time to go.”
Let’s go then.
She sighed heavily and with unshakeable grim resolve left the kotti, dismissing the discomfort. There was no sense in feeling it since you were doing nothing about it.
…But where did it come from?
“It came from inside, silly.”
Because you are here, aha.
And it came… not only because of recent events. It was rooted in the past. Definitely. It came with her from Kantine. Along with the luggage.
“There’s no happiness on the Mainland,” mother had said. She knew what she was talking about. She definitely wasn’t a happy woman.
But Ami hadn’t stayed to rot in her hometown. She was far away from it now. But not from her own melancholy. Even if she went to Lim or some other point far from Kantine – it wouldn’t change anything.
Was it worth trying? If it was useless to seek happiness if you didn’t already have it inside. And if you did have it, it was pointless to seek.
She walked speedily, not noticing the rain falling on her head, not admiring the charming green-grey surroundings anymore.
Well. She tried. And failed again.
…No. Not here. Not like that. Not in Omill. Rotting gnats… Where… Where were the oozy mood patches?! Coffee en route?
“Not a chance. Still out of barter goods.”
Swamp it!.. What then?
“Why not sport an elegant gloom for a day or two? Couldn’t hurt.”
No. Coffee in the workplace. That’s the answer.
Let the locals at the Station share their happiness. Maybe they weren’t so happy either because of their own problems. Still, they had decently stable lives. In this lovely city. Nice work. An adequate surrounding. And so on.