Коллективное Творчество – Verse and Dimensions: Stories (страница 28)

Chapter One (B)

After the pair travelled to a nearby object Unthil assumed was supposed to be a monocosm, imaginary Realitus proceeded to spontaneously shed off a smaller clone of himself. The clone gave its salutations to the larger version of itself, then to Unthil, and then proceeded to launch itself far away from the pair and explode into a hundred million and five tiny Realiti which dispersed into the surroundings. Imaginary Realitus told Unthil not to worry about the “godsmoke signal”, it was just standard process to call “new best friends” that way. Unthil wasn’t particularly amused that the imaginary Realitus had not given so much as a warning before having done that. Unthil watched as a living lodeverse composed entirely out of eyeballs from all the species throughout Beyond that had any, a sentient tachyonic hyperboloid that really enjoyed making counterclockwise quarter-turns, and a rather large but otherwise completely ordinary pigeon were alerted to the godsmoke signal and made their way over to the SuperGods. Unthil thought those three entities honestly seemed much tamer than what he'd normally expect by ridiculous Imaginatim imaginary friend standards. Now that Imaginary Realitus had caught the creatures’ attention and assured to Unthil that they were completely benign—that’s why they were the perfect pets and best friends, he announced to “Seesee”, “Iiye-all”, and “Really Big Dinosaur (no relation)” that a new friend will be joining them on their journey to Imaginatim's House. Unthil noticed Realitus trying to give a cue that he assumed was supposed to prompt him to introduce himself. Imaginary Realitus and his band of wacky new pets for Imaginatim gave “Uhhh… i-I” a big welcome ceremony complete with cheesecake and confetti—none of which Uhhh… i-I definitely felt like using to double check if that presence of Elder’s fire everywhere was indeed completely unable to destroy materials. After the celebration was over, Realitus politely requested for his fellow beings to follow him. Uhhh… i-I gave up on even trying to bother but at least following this imaginary Realitus on a journey that was presumably going to get rather irritating and tedious very quickly seemed significantly more preferable an existence than having to deal with the real deal Realitus.

The journey to Beyond was exactly as tedious and irritating as Unthil had imagined to be, riddled with having to put up with Realitus constantly babbling on about all the omniverses he had created to try and help make the trek feel shorter as well as Really Big Dinosaur (still no relation) repeatedly mistaking Unthil for “strawberry-flavoured birdseed” and attempting to eat him several times. Realitus had profusely apologized for those incidents and asked if Unthil would appreciate it if he was allowed any chances for him to fail attempting to eat “rotisserie pigeon” just to even the conflict out. Unthil, wondering why that would even be an idea that could cross anyone’s mind, feigned appreciating any offers as he declined every single one of them until the group finally arrived at Imaginary Beyond. Unthil tried his best to hide his amazement at this Realitus’ attitude and briefly wondered if the other Council members were as improved as this Realitus. Unthil noticed an imaginary version of Conceptilum. Imaginary Conceptilum hobbled over to Realitus and talked complete unintelligible nonsense. Imaginary Realitus, acting as if he understood all that, responded that verse creation is indeed going by quite smoothly before proceeding to create a very strange looking and intricately designed omniverse on the spot. This impressed the Council leader so much that he did a “Happy Dance” and rocketed away from Realitus and Unthil with joy. Unthil figured that he got all the answers he would ever need. Realitus stated that Conceptilum has allowed for everyone to get a free “Official Council Rrecess” where everyone can feel free to run around doing whatever they wanted until it was feeding time for all pets. Unthil figured that it was probably best to just take advantage of the “Official Council Rrecess”, not only have literally any kind of break from all that stupid nonsense he had just been put through but to seize any appropriate window of opportunity where he could be able to investigate his surroundings while in this Elder-forsaken position.

Unthil, still with imaginary Conceptilum burned into his omniscient^3 mind, left Realitus and the dispersing group of Imaginatim’s newest pets and tried his best to rest at the nearest monocosm within this Beyond that looked even the slightest bit comfortable to be nearby. It had way too many ants being continuously produced and burned by the giant magnifying glass for his liking but imaginary Realitus had explicitly told Unthil that a certain rather large avian was allergic to eating magnifying glasses so this monocosm seemed better than nothing at preventing him from being annoyingly pecked every now and then. Unfortunately, Unthil was quick to become rather annoyed anyway when he noticed another SuperGod approach him, get very angry, throw a chicken at him, and then proceed to call him a “poopooface that smells like bumbum and likes smelling the bumbums for the bumbum smell”. Unthil, really not in the mood to entertain the very idea that this absolute idiot’s pet aynysys witlessly spewing out complete wastes of hatchling insults unprovoked was honestly supposed to be a version of him, was quick to speak up and sharply tell his lookalike to go run away to some other Beyond bubble to bother literally anyone else and while he was at that, figure how to insult them better. Honestly, Unthil got that giving others emotions that aren't strictly positive should be part of that whole process of speaking one's mind but for SuperGod’s sake, he can assure that more clever and more creative ways of accomplishing that do, believe it or not, exist and would lead to anything other than instilling the worst second-hand embarrassment imaginable to unsuspecting innocent victims. Clearly the imaginary being must have picked up on the extent of Unthil’s sheer pain from having to listened to that so it proceeded to double down, throw a few more chickens for good measure, and call Unthil “a heckship turtlelizard omniverse ultraverse multiverse heckheckheck!!!1!11!!”. Unthil, now completely fed up and on top of that, extremely confused about what part of that vyrbal dhyarria was even supposed to be the insulting part, decided that this was a big waste of metatime and wanted to find some other monocosm to rest nearby before that “Official Council Rrecess” of unspecified length was done and over with. A very exhausted Unthil wasn't the most careful with moving from his resting spot though and accidentally shattered the magnifying glass in the process of doing so. Forty-five of the shattered magnifying glass bits being scalene simplices with cells that suddenly transformed into Brachiosaurus altithorax playing mandolins completely set off the imaginary entity and made it absolutely furious, so it summoned a rapid-fire barrage of chicken to shoot at its slightly less imaginary counterpart. This didn’t actually injure Unthil in any meaningful way whatsoever but it sure was really annoying and just impossible to think straight at all while under this "attack". Unthil suddenly sensed contact with one of the godverses the monocosm held and observed as his surroundings promptly started to fade away afterwards. The piercing shrieks of his imaginary counterpart and the brilliant blue of the surrounding fires blurred until the omniscient^3 SuperGod was unable to resolve any discernible details. Unthil’s pure annoyance in the moment became overshadowed by his concern about just what kind of amazing vision from his oh-so-fantastic "gift" he definitely needed to experience now if it absolutely had to be timed this perfectly.

Imaginatim had just forgot what she had been doing again but whatever that task was, it must have been rather fun because now there was one ginormous omniverse composed entirely out of cat food in the monocosm now! It didn’t smell or taste particularly nice—Imaginatim much preferred precat food with a side of fresh magma and could do without the need for the flavours of clear identity or associating anything—but her many new pets inhabiting the omniverse seemed to really enjoy gobbling up all that cat food and pet mortals having lots of fun consuming all the limitless quantities of cat food they could ever dream of was all that would ever matter in the end. After allowing her oldest brother’s pets in the monocosm currently being eggsat to hold on to her very intricately thought-through and very detailed plans for an omniversal structure made entirely out of lemons she had just thought of (just in case she forgot them later, lemons were something hopefully substantially tastier than cat food and one tasty great fruit-flavoured idea like that should never go to waste), Imaginatim noticed a nearby monocosm that really did hold an omniverse made entirely out of lemons! It must have been something she had created long, long ago before the formation of her omniverse made of cat food! Yay!