Кейт Хьюит – The Desert Lord's Love-Child: The Desert Lord's Baby (страница 8)
“Let me go in first.”
His gaze burned down on her for a moment, accentuated by Mennah’s happy babblings emanating from the receiver and through the door. The feel of his muscles flexing in her grasp screamed down her nerves.
He turned away, a shake of his arm making her hands fall away like shedded leaves, making her believe he’d disregard her request.
He stared sightlessly at the door for one more moment then exhaled heavily.
Her body heat shot up another notch, this time not with awareness. “You think I was pretending?”
A growl rumbled from his gut, impatience made into sound. “Does it matter what I think?” Before she cried out a denial he ground on,
“Great,” she grumbled. “To be exonerated from a con, only because you think my acting abilities aren’t up to pulling it off. And I’m not stalling. You think I’d leave her alone for long even to thwart you? Now, can you move aside? I’ll call you in when …”
He seemed to expand, blocking her way like a barricade. “I’m letting you walk in
“Or you’ll do what?” she bristled.
He raised both eyebrows. “So, the falling-apart act is over and now comes … what? The hellcat one?”
She exhaled forcibly, letting out some of her tension. She couldn’t walk into Mennah’s nursery seething. “Who’s wasting time now? Now move out of my way so I can go to my daughter. She’s content to lie in her crib yammering to herself when she wakes up, but I never leave her alone for more than a few minutes.”
He gave a theatrical gesture, inviting her to precede him.
She opened the door a crack.
“You make her sleep in the dark!”
The hiss lodged between her shoulder blades. She closed the door, glared up at him. “You have a problem with that?”
His scowl was spectacular. “You should leave a night-light on. She’ll get scared if she wakes up in pitch-black like that.”
Her lips twisted. “And this is your expert opinion as an experienced dad?” Again the growl rumbled from in his gut, softer, no doubt because he feared Mennah might hear. She challenged him again. “Does she sound scared to you?”
His jaw muscles clenched in what she could only describe as grudging concession.
God, had he always looked that—that indescribable?
Struggling to bring yet another pang of response under control, she found herself saying, “My mother never made me sleep in the dark, and I developed a phobia of darkness. It took me years of agonizing self-conditioning to get over it.”
Why was she explaining her actions as if she was defending her maternal ability? He could hear with his own ears that Mennah wasn’t in the least disturbed to be awake in a dark room, had already conceded that, no matter how unwillingly.
And what was that strange expression that flared in the depths of those lion’s eyes of his?
Slowly she started to reopen the door. He took the door from her, closed it again. “This is the first time you’ve mentioned your mother.”
She stared up at him, huffed a sarcastic breath. “And you’re what? Surprised I had one?”
“Had?” he probed. “She’s dead?”
She nodded, her throat closing all over again. “Cancer.”
“When?”
“Just over ten years now. She died on my sixteenth birthday.”
His eyes narrowed, the amber intensifying. “On the very day?”
She nodded, tears she hadn’t shed then brimming.
What was he doing, interrogating her this way? What was
Their time together had been consumed in conflagrations of mindless passion. When they had talked, it had been about their tastes, fantasies, beliefs. She’d assumed he’d run a background check on her, had a full report with her statistics somewhere in his security files, one he probably hadn’t bothered to read. And why should he have? He surely didn’t clutter his mind with the particulars of the steady parade of women who warmed his bed. And she’d already known of his background, since he was such an international figure.
She broke contact with those eyes that made her feel turned inside out for his inspection. “We’ll go in now. But I’m warning you … when Mennah sees you, she may be upset, may even cry. She doesn’t like strangers.”
“I’m not a stranger.”
He was so close he singed her cheek, the side of her neck with the heat of his vehemence, the intoxication of his breath. She shuddered, leaned on the door.
“You’re still one to her …” The words petered out on her lips, in her mind, evaporated by the intensity in his gaze.
Mennah’s yammering took on an excited edge. She must have sensed them even through the noise she was making. Carmen opened the door, turned up the dimmer, drenching the cheery room in soothing illumination. Mennah let out a squeal, started kicking her legs in welcoming delight as soon as she saw Carmen.
“Oh, darling, me, too.” Hungry strides took her to Mennah, before she froze. Farooq had clamped her shoulder.
Suddenly Mennah’s happy noises ceased, her smiles dissolving into a look of surprise. She’d seen Farooq towering behind Carmen.
Wide-eyed, she stuffed both hands in her mouth and stared at him, chewing on her chubby fingers. Carmen felt apprehension rising, thoughts streaking over how to stop what she knew would come. The wobbling chin, the down-turning lips, the whimpers and tears and the arms outstretched for her.
She wondered why she’d want to spare him that.
The answer formed alongside the question in her mind.
She’d misjudged him, deprived him of Mennah’s first precious months of life. He should have been the second person who held her, whom she saw. She should have been secure in his presence from her first moment of life, should be squealing her pleasure at the sight of him now, too. If, after Mennah’s delightful welcome to her, she whined and whimpered at Farooq, Carmen didn’t know what she’d …
Farooq’s awed words jolted through her heart.
He went on, in a more ragged rasp, as if to himself,
And he had no idea just how miraculous Mennah was. The baby everyone had sworn Carmen would never be able to conceive. Now, after her hysterectomy, the only baby she’d ever conceive. Mennah was beyond a miracle. She was Carmen’s every reason to go on living.
Overloaded with emotion, she felt him brushing past her, watched with breath gone and heart stampeding as he leaned down in leashed eagerness, reaching one powerful finger to brush Mennah’s cheek, a sound of agonized enjoyment escaping him.
Transferring his gentleness to the hands still half-stuffed in Mennah’s mouth, he whispered,
Carmen’s heart splintered.
Oh God. Oh
And she’d once had a taste of how fiercely he could want …
Her eyes snapped to Mennah, dread of her reaction mounting, every muscle ready to snatch her up at the first whimper, to soothe her, ameliorate his disappointment, promise she’d soon get used to him. Not that she had any idea how Mennah would do that, when she had no idea how he intended to be in her life from now on, at best as a long-distance father …
Mennah’s piercing squeal had her heart almost kicking her off her feet. She surged forward, but Mennah was … she was … She was smiling!
And not any smile, but a huge, dimpled one. Then she was eagerly rolling to a sitting position, holding up her arms, her chubby hands closing and opening, beckoning, demanding to be picked up. By Farooq!
Farooq whooped in elation, scooped her up.
Suddenly he took her to his chest, enfolded her, closed his eyes on a deep, long groan. Carmen’s heart swelled so fast, so hard she felt it might burst. Next moment, it almost did.
Mennah mashed her face into his neck and went still. Closed her eyes, too. As if to savor her father’s feel, inhale his scent, absorb his power and protection.
And Carmen’s tears wouldn’t be held back anymore.
She swung around, ran out, needing to get as far as possible before a storm of anguish like those that had overcome her all through her pregnancy overtook her.