Кэтти Уильямс – Scandalous Sins: Unwrapping His Convenient Fiancée / The Sheikh's Pregnant Prisoner / Snowbound with His Innocent Temptation (страница 17)

* * *

Cam wasn’t much of a party animal but even he had to admit Violet’s firm put on a Christmas extravaganza that was impossible not to enjoy. It occupied the ballroom of one of London’s premier hotels and the decorations alone would have funded a developing nation for a year. Giant green and gold and red Christmas bells hung from silken threads just above head height. Great swathes of tinsel adorned the walls. A fresh Christmas tree was positioned to one side of the room, covered with baubles that looked like they had been dipped in gold. Maybe they had. There was an angel on the top whose white gown glittered with Swarovski crystals. The music was lively and fun. The food was fabulous. The champagne was top-shelf and free flowing.

Or maybe he was having a good time because he was with the most beautiful girl at the party. The shimmery dress he’d helped Violet choose skimmed her delicate curves so lovingly his hands twitched in jealousy. The heels she was wearing put his mind straight in the gutter. He couldn’t stop imagining her wearing nothing but those glossy black spikes and a sexy come-and-get-me smile.

Cam had been ruminating all afternoon over whether he had done the right thing in making love to Violet. Who was he kidding? He was still ruminating. It was like a loop going round and round in his head. What have I done?

It was fine to put it down to hormones, but he wasn’t some immature teenager who didn’t know the meaning of the word self-control. He was a fully grown adult and yet he hadn’t been able to walk away.

Had he done the wrong thing?

His body said Yes.

His mind said Yes, but.

The buts were always going to be the kicker. Violet wasn’t like any other casual lover he’d met. She’d been in his life for what seemed like for ever. He’d seen her grow from a gangly and shy teenage girl to a beautiful young woman. She was still shy but some of that reserve had eased away when they’d made love. Sharing that experience with her, being the one to guide her through her first experience of pleasure with a partner had been special. More than special. A sacred privilege he would remember for the rest of his life. Her trust in him had touched him, honoured him, and made him feel more of a man than he had ever felt before.

But...

How could he give her what she wanted when it was the opposite of what he wanted right now? Violet came from a family where marriage was a tradition that was celebrated and treasured and believed in. She wanted the fairytale her parents and siblings had.

It wasn’t that Cam was so cynical he didn’t think marriage could work. It did work. It worked brilliantly, as Margie and Gavin Drummond demonstrated and their parents before them. But Cam’s parents’ example had made him see the other side of the order of service: the stonewalling, the bitter fights, the disharmony, the petty paybacks, the affairs and then the divorce lawyers, not to mention years of estrangement where the very mention of the other person’s name would bring on an explosive fit of temper.

While Cam didn’t think he was the type of person to walk out on a commitment as important as marriage, how could he be sure life wouldn’t throw up something that would challenge the standards he upheld? The promises people made so earnestly in church didn’t always ring with the same conviction when life tossed in a curve ball or two.

It was all well and good to be confident he would stand by his commitment, but it wasn’t just about his commitment. The other person would have to be equally committed. How could he be sure Violet, as gorgeous and sweet as she was, would feel the same about him in ten weeks, let alone ten years or five times that? Watching his parents go through their acrimonious divorce when he was a young child had made him wary about rushing into the institution.

He had never had any reason to question his decision before now. It had always seemed the safest way to handle his relationships—being open and honest about what he could and couldn’t give. Yes, some lovers might have been disappointed there was no promise of a future. But at least he hadn’t misled them.

But sleeping with Violet had changed things. Changed him. Made him more aware of the things he would be missing out on rather than the things he was avoiding. Things like walking into a party hand in hand, knowing he was going to leave with that hand still in his. Knowing the smile she turned his way was for him and no one else. Recognising the secret look she gave him that told him she was remembering every second of his lovemaking and she couldn’t wait to experience it again. Feeling the frisson of awareness when she brushed against him, how his body was so finely tuned to hers he could sense her presence even when she was metres away.

Had he ever felt like that with anyone else? No. Never. Which wasn’t to say he wouldn’t with someone else...someone other than Violet. His gut swerved at the thought of making love to someone else. He couldn’t imagine it. Couldn’t even picture it. Couldn’t think of a single person who would excite him the way she excited him.

It will pass. It always does.

Lust for him was a candle not a coal ember. It would flare for a time and then snuff out. Sometimes gradually, sometimes overnight.

But when he looked at Violet, he couldn’t imagine his desire for her ever fading. Because his desire for her wasn’t just physical. There was another quality to it, a quality he had never felt with anyone else. When he’d made love to her it had felt like an act of worship rather than just sex. Her response to him had been a gift rather than a given. The fact she trusted him enough to feel able to express herself sexually was the biggest compliment—and turn on—he had ever experienced.

But...

How was he going to explain the end of their ‘engagement’ to her family? How was he going to go back to being just friends? How would he be able to look at her and not remember the way her mouth had felt when she’d opened it for him that first time? How her shy little tongue had tangled with his until his blood had pounded so hard he’d thought his veins would explode? How would he be able to be in the same room as her without wanting to draw her into his arms? To feel her slim body press against his need until he was crazy with it?

Maybe he was crazy. Maybe that was the problem. Making love to her was the craziest thing he’d done in a long time.

But...

He wanted to make love to her again. And again and again.

God help him.

* * *

Violet was coming back from a trip to the ladies’ room when she was intercepted by three of her workmates, including Lorna.

‘Congratulations, Violet,’ Lorna said, eyeing her engagement ring. ‘Gracious me, that man of yours was quick off the mark.’ Her gaze flicked to Violet’s abdomen. ‘You’re not pregnant, are you?’

If there was one time in her life Violet wished she didn’t have the propensity to blush, this was it. Could Lorna tell the engagement wasn’t real? After all, Violet hadn’t mentioned anything about dating anyone, not that she talked about her private life that much at work. But women working together for a long time tended to pick up on those things. Besides, conversations around the water cooler tended to show how boring her life was compared to everyone else’s. ‘No, not yet but it’s definitely on the to-do list.’ Why did you say that?

Lorna’s smile didn’t involve her eyes. ‘When’s the big day?’

‘Erm...we haven’t decided on a date yet,’ Violet said. ‘But some time next year.’ I wish.

‘So how did he propose?’

Violet wished she’d talked this through a little more with Cam. They hadn’t firmed up any details of their story apart from the fact—which was indeed a fact—they had met via her older brother. How would Cam propose if he were going to ask her to marry him? He wasn’t the bells and whistles type. There wouldn’t be any skywritten proposals or football-stadium audiences while he got down on bended knee. That was the sort of thing his father did, even on one memorable occasion making the evening news. Cam would choose somewhere quiet and romantic and tell her he loved her and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. Her heart squeezed. If only! ‘It was really romantic and—’

‘Ah, here’s Prince Charming himself,’ Lorna said as Cam approached. ‘Violet’s been telling me how you proposed.’

Cam’s smile never faltered but Violet knew him well enough to notice the flicker of tension he was trying to disguise near his mouth. He slipped an arm around Violet’s waist and drew her close against him. ‘Have you, darling?’

Violet’s smile had a hint of help me about it. ‘Yes, I was saying it was terribly romantic...with all the roses and...stuff.’

‘What colour?’ Lorna asked.

‘White,’ Violet said.

‘Red,’ Cam said at exactly the same time.

Lorna’s artfully groomed brows rose ever so slightly. But then she smiled and winked at Cam. ‘You have good taste. Violet’s a lucky girl to land a man who knows his way around a diamond dealer.’

‘She deserves the very best,’ Cam said.

‘Yes, well, she’s waited long enough for it,’ Lorna said and with a fingertip wave moved on to return to the party.