Jennie Adams – Daycare Mum to Wife / Accidental Father: Daycare Mum to Wife / Accidental Father (страница 12)

‘Let him go.’ Dan watched his son leave the store. ‘He needs his space sometimes.’

Jess realised she had grown accustomed in this short time to the sense of family she received while caring for Dan’s children. She didn’t know how she’d been given the gift of becoming part of this, even if it was only for a few weeks or so.

She didn’t want to lose her cottage and maybe have to leave Randurra to find different work, and not see Dan or his family again. There. She’d admitted both fears and what good had it done her? Jess was doing what she could about the cottage. And she didn’t want these confused reactions and thoughts about Dan and her sense of family. Jess didn’t have a sense of family except Ella, and that was everything to her.

‘What would you like, Jess?’ Dan gestured to the shelves. ‘It’s a family tradition to buy junk food for our road trips. Maybe not the best or healthiest tradition, but it’s a treat, so choose something for you, and for Ella if there’s something she can have.’

For a change from his usual savoury fare, Dan had a big tin of chewy-centred fruit-flavoured candies in his hand. Jess got mini ice-cream cones filled with marsh-mallow and topped with sprinkles for her baby daughter. ‘Ella can go for an hour making a mess with one of those. Can I share your tin of candies, Dan?’

‘Of course we can share.’ He still had Ella in his arms, and his voice was deep. He looked tired and ruffled and as though he still hadn’t had enough sleep.

Dan looked that way too often. Jess had been working hard to help him, but he was an automaton about getting through his work and everything going on with that firm in Sydney, about his children and stuff around the home as well. Jess suspected he’d been nothing but an automaton for a while now.

‘I’ll help you with them a lot, Dan. I’ll make sure you get as much chance to rest over the next two days as is humanly possible.’

‘You’re generous, Jess. I—’

‘Come on, Dad.’ Rob bounced up and down on the balls of his feet. ‘We’re ready.’

‘Jess, what sort of bathers do you have?’ Mary came out of her shell to ask this, and to volunteer, ‘Mine have pink, yellow and blue spots on them and they’re really pretty. Annapolly has my old pair that I grew out of but she doesn’t mind.’

‘Um, well, I have a bikini.’ Jess glanced at the several interested heads that had turned their way as this question was asked. Local women, doing their grocery shopping in the store, and already looking at Jess and Dan.

Jess didn’t want to look at Dan, or to remember buying the bikini as her treat to herself after she got her figure back from having Ella. At the time, when she saw it on the sale rack and in her post-baby induced state, it had seemed like a good idea.

And then Jess had worn it carefully at home, in the secluded part of the backyard when she had Ella in the baby wader pool she’d also bought very cheaply. She had never let anyone else see her in it.

Well, it wasn’t her fault if her curvy bits were a bit curvier these days than they had been. She coughed. ‘I, um, I don’t go swimming much.’

‘What’s it look like? What colour is it?’ Mary asked the questions so innocently and she waited very earnestly for Jess to explain.

‘Well, it’s bright yellow with, um, with bumblebees on it. There are two parts to it and I usually wear a sarong over it. Do you know what a sarong is?’ Jess wasn’t about to miss the chance to interact with Dan’s shyest child, but she would far rather describe a sarong than her bathers in any more detail.

She told herself Dan wasn’t there with his ears on fire, and her bathers weren’t that exciting.

She didn’t mean that kind of exciting in any case.

Oh, Jess didn’t know what the heck she meant and she’d been fine until it seemed as though the entire supermarket waited with bated breath for her answers about her swimming attire. Jess quickly explained about the sarong.

‘Let’s get these things bought so we can get back in the van.’ She herded everyone to the checkout area. ‘The sooner we get moving, the sooner we’ll arrive at the beach.’

‘Mary didn’t mean any harm with her questions.’ Dan spoke the words quietly into her ear as his children surged ahead to swarm into the van with their now purchased, and therefore consumable, goodies. A grin teased up one side of his mouth. ‘And I’m sure you’ll look lovely in yellow and bumblebees.’

He was in holiday mode. Dan’s teasing was nothing but that, Jess assured herself. She tried very hard to believe it because she shouldn’t hope for anything else.

She didn’t hope for anything else. Did she?

‘I know Mary was only curious.’ Despite herself, Jess wondered if Dan had just flirted with her? Or simply teased her? Jess’s gaze made its way inexorably to his face and discovered…he had done both! Well, that wasn’t supposed to make Jess’s heart feel all warm and mushy right along with a kick into overdrive of her pulse rate, but Dan was really attracted to her? Truly?

And why would that make you happy, Jess? It’s bad enough that you’ve been noticing him. Do you really want to start thinking along those lines when you know how much your trust got shattered the last time you let yourself care for a man?

There were a dozen reasons why it would be smarter if Jess didn’t care for this man!

Dan started the trip with some rock music. His children groaned but he ignored them. He had to have an occasional vice.

When he turned the music down twenty minutes later Jess glanced his way and gave a soft laugh. ‘On the bright side, you’re educating them by playing that song list.’

‘How did you know I’ve used that justification?’ He glanced at her, just once.

Her eyes were such a soft grey that it might be just as well he needed to concentrate on the road because the alternative was to get lost in those gentle depths. Those eyes were letting him in perhaps more than she realised right now.

Was he starting to care too much about Jessica Baker? He’d pushed this trip into being for his children, but he’d done it for Jess and Ella, too. He’d wanted them to be part of it, not simply because a second adult would be a good idea. Dan had wanted to do something for Jess that she might enjoy, give her something she might not otherwise have.

He wanted to see the worry disappear from the backs of her eyes, Dan realised. To see her completely relax even if only for a little while, as he managed to relax sometimes.

When was the last time you did that?

Dan could relax with Jess.

Again the thought crept up on him.

It was the last thing that should be in his mind because why on earth would Jess want that? She was young and vibrant—young enough that like his children she probably thought his rock music was a piece of ancient history. It was disloyal to the memory of Rebecca anyway and Dan…still loved her?

Well, how did he answer that question? Of course he’d loved Rebecca. But he had also grieved for her and got over losing her because he had had no choice.

‘Are we there yet?’ Annapolly asked the question.

‘No, Annapolly, we’re not there yet.’ Dan turned his attention to getting his family to their seaside destination.

And turned his thoughts away from the woman seated beside him in the front of the van. Away from noticing the way the air conditioning ruffled wisps of hair against her cheek. From the smell of a light, floral perfume blended with her skin.

Dan was not to be conscious of anything other than his responsibilities as a father and a family man and that was all. He wasn’t avoiding dealing with any issues. He was simply being practical.

‘That was a good kick, Rob. Well done.’ Jess watched Dan’s second eldest run up the beach to retrieve the soccer ball.

It was just after seven in the evening. There was a smattering of people on the beach, and a number of Fraziers all enjoying their visit to the seaside. Jess had to admit she was excited, too, if determined to keep very good watch over her crowd of charges.

The day had been beautiful and now they had a blue sky waning towards dusk, a soft, cooling sea breeze and the sun warm but not so baking hot that it would spoil their fun. There were miles of soft sandy beach with a ridge of shells tossed higher up. That augured well for collecting more of the same tomorrow morning. And the water itself. Oh, those rolling waves of endless blue water.

Jess let her gaze scan the scene again. Ella sat on a very large beach blanket beneath one of the umbrellas. She was quite content playing with a set of buckets that fitted inside each other and a plastic spade, which she banged on the buckets, chuckling gleefully as she did so.

Luke was in the water and his father was out there with him keeping a close eye, though the teen was a strong swimmer and a sensible one so far. Rob had taken his dip and got out to run up and down the beach. Mary and Annapolly had been given turns ‘swimming’ in the shallows with their dad before they came out to build a sandcastle.

Jess hadn’t swum. Of course she’d love to, but she had a job to do. She was relieved that she wouldn’t have to reveal the bumblebee bikini hidden away nicely beneath her sarong.