Ильдар Хусаинов – The power of freedom (страница 3)

Only years later was I able to appreciate the impact our financial struggles had on my feelings and ambitions. We lived modestly. Moreover, my parents’ marriage didn’t turn out to last long.

After my parents’ divorce in the late 80s we had even less money. My mum worked a lot. She worked as a doctor in the clinic, the swimming pool, and the school. Her schedule was really tight and on Tuesdays she had appointments up to 8 p.m. My brother and I often were on our own. We hardly ever saw our dad, and we spent just an hour or two in the evening with our mum. I was really lucky to be the elder brother. Even though I’d faced a lot of challenges, there still were some advantages. I was very responsible. When I was nine, I felt like a grown-up, because my life circumstances made me mature early. Since I became independent and responsible too early, I got unable to ask for help. Even now I still haven’t got this skill, I can’t ask for help, unfortunately. However, I think it’s perfectly normal, and you shouldn’t be ashamed of it.

Once, I found myself in a situation where I needed to ask my dad for additional financial support, which he was already providing as much as he could. I was eleven at the time. It’s important to mention that during my parents' divorce in 1989, things got really hard for me emotionally. I struggled to cope with all of it. I believe that it was during that time that life toughened me for many decades to come, or rather, for my entire life. I wouldn’t want to write too much about it, but I’ll say that for three years after my parents’ divorce, I couldn’t talk to my friends about it and kept making excuses, saying that my dad was just busy at work. One day, in 1991, I noticed that my mom was having some financial difficulties, and I suggested reaching out to my dad for additional help. I spent two days mentally preparing myself, gathering my courage, and finally went to see him. I rang the doorbell and ran away. I was torn apart by pain and resentment. I fled when I realized that I would just break down in tears within ten seconds of that conversation. The interesting thing is that a week later, I gathered my thoughts and went to my dad again. This time, I rang the doorbell and didn’t run away. I talked to him and asked for money. But this left a certain mark on me, and since then, it has been extremely difficult for me to ask anyone for anything on my own behalf, although I find it easy to ask for others. Here, I’m going to say a few words from my perspective as a parent. When you raise children, you realize how important every step they take, every moment in childhood is, and how profoundly it can impact their future. That’s why I place such great importance on how I raise my children, striving to give them everything possible for the best start on their life journey.

Me and my dad – Khusainov Boris Biktemerovich

I’m now trying not to spoil my kids too much, and often set tasks for them, the solutions to which will help them in their future lives. Of course, these tasks are easier than the ones I had to solve. For example, when I was twelve, I was told to load three tons of bricks onto a truck, and I managed to do it all by myself. I was very obedient and diligent. I always tried to help others. Obedience and the desire to assist were my ways of making life easier for my mum, as she’d been raising my brother and me on her own.

I’d seen lots of examples how families’ affluence hindered rather than helped children prepare for adult life. I saw how my peers, as they grew older, struggled to cope with life's challenges despite their apparent well-being. I witnessed their failures, and it made me reflect on the importance of balancing good conditions with a child's ability to do things independently.

My younger brother faced a difficult situation during his teenage years that put him at a crossroads, but ultimately, my example, support, and guidance helped him choose the right path. We both decided to lead a healthy lifestyle. This choice was influenced not only by external circumstances but also by a deep aversion to alcohol and smoking that had developed in childhood.

I’m one of those rare people who have never tried alcohol, smoked, or used drugs in their lives. This is not just a fact that makes me different from the others, it’s a foundation upon which my principles have been formed. My main belief is that the ideal exists and that we should strive for it. I have always been honest with myself and loyal to my choices. At the age of eight, I decided that bad habits were not for me, and I have carried that decision throughout my life. Believe me, there have been many occasions when influential people offered me to have a drink, even just a bit, but I have always remained faithful to my inner principles and have never betrayed them.

Everything I’d experienced in my childhood shaped me as a person. It proved that even in a challenging environment, a person has the potential for growth and self-realization. This understanding helped me create an organization that develops and supports talents, regardless of difficulties.

I'll tell you about an incident that had a profound impact on me. It was in 1990. My swimming coach, trying to impress my mother, took a rather risky action. He took me under the water and kept holding me down for a minute and a half. I was nine or ten years old at the time, and I was a good swimmer, but I wasn't prepared for that dive. Underwater, after a minute had passed, I almost gave up and was about to take a breath when he finally let me go. He didn’t know about my asthma and couldn’t imagine how difficult it was for me to hold my breath for so long. I remember that moment so vividly because I nearly drowned that day.

Recalling that incident, I think about the fragility of life. Just a few seconds could have changed everything. If something had gone wrong back then, there would be neither my company nor this book. Everything in this world is uncertain, and we exist on the edge between great opportunities and risks.

I want to emphasize that I truly love and respect my parents. They played a huge role in my development. I always try to do everything possible for them. The more I live, the more I reflect on my childhood, and the grievances and pain are replaced by relating and the realization that my mom and dad have always loved me and still do, and I reciprocate that love. When I was 15–16 years old, my relationship with my father improved, and he did a lot to help me become who I am today. He has always been the person I could rely on more than anyone else in this life! Yes, we are very different, but we have a powerful spiritual connection. And my mum is for sure the person who shaped me as an individual. I’ve come to understand how important it is to appreciate our parents. If I meet someone who, for some reason, has distanced themselves from their parents, I can spend hours explaining why it’s so important to get on with them. Speaking of the fragility of the world, no one knows when everything might change or come to an end, so it’s crucial to value what we have right now. This applies to both personal life and, surprisingly, the economy. Bad times usually come unexpectedly, and people start lamenting over how good it was before. The essence of our world is constant change – we must learn to embrace it.

And if the world is so changeable and unpredictable, one might decide that it's better to live for today and not make plans. However, my life principles are different:

1. Long-term thinking. I always try to look to the future and prefer delayed gratification over instant one. I am willing to wait, endure, and put in any effort for future success.

2. Deep understanding. I am convinced that if you want to achieve a high quality result, you need to work through the whole process, and every little detail. Nothing good happens by chance. Any successful product is the result of a well-thought-out strategy.

3. The triumph of justice. I believe in justice and that if you do something good and right, it’ll serve you in the end. It’s in our nature to justify our actions, but our conscience, sense of shame, and understanding of morality help us avoid mistakes.

4. Minimalism – a very important principle for a businessman. Many people start splashing out money as soon as they get some profit. I believe that rational spending contributes to long-lasting success and sustainable business development.

Things that happened to me when I was a child taught me to be responsible and organized. I never expect something good to happen without a reason – it’s not pessimism, but rather realism that protects me from disappointment. Most people who face different problems because their expectations are far too high. I don’t spend a lot of money on myself, even though I am obviously a wealthy person now. Since I was little, I have learned that happiness has nothing to do with prosperity.

This principle of mine isn’t popular, I should say. During the early stages of the business, I had a serious dispute with my co-founders about how to use the earned money. I insisted on reinvesting it into further development of the company while they leaned towards spending it. I was perplexed about how we would grow our venture, but nobody seemed to hear my arguments in favor of expanding the business. The disagreements led to conflicts, and even my mother sometimes supported the idea of splashing out, believing that after all the difficulties we’ve been through we deserved the right to a decent life.