Heidi Betts – The Jarrods: Inheritance: Taming Her Billionaire Boss (страница 18)

Certainly not with Blake Jarrod.

A curious look passed over his face. “Why would you want to psychoanalyze me anyway?”

This time she thought before speaking. No use giving away more of herself than she needed to. It was best she keep up a wall. He would appreciate her more for that.

She managed a thin smile. “A person likes to figure out how their boss’s mind works. It helps with the job.”

He leaned back in his chair. “Yes, you were always good at that.”

Then … just as she thought she had it all under control, all at once everything rose in her throat. She couldn’t take any more of this subterfuge and talking around things that mattered. “Blake, don’t you think it’s time we talked about last night? You took such good care of me, and then this morning …”

He stilled. “Yes?”

She swallowed hard. She had to ask the next question and she had to be prepared to accept the answer. “I’d like to know what I did wrong.”

His face blanched as he sat forward. “Nothing, Samantha. You did nothing wrong.”

“Then what—”

He drew a breath. “Samantha, are you a virgin?”

She felt her cheeks heat up. “No.”

He looked surprised. “I thought you might be.”

“Well, I’m not,” she said, hunching her shoulders, wondering where this was going to lead.

His expression softened a little. “But you’re not very experienced, are you?”

Okay, so it led to further embarrassment.

She could feel her cheeks redden further. “You must know I … er … haven’t been with a lot of men.”

“How many?”

Her eyes widened. “None of your business.”

“You made it my business this morning.”

She hesitated, then, “One lover when I was a teenager.”

His brow rose. “And none since?” He must have read her thoughts. “You can tell me. I’m not going to tell anyone else.”

So, okay, she would accept that. “Well, there was a man back home ….”

He didn’t blink an eye but she knew she had his attention. “And?”

“We didn’t become lovers, but I was in love with him.”

“What happened?”

Her lips twisted with self-derision. “He wasn’t in love with me.”

Blake nodded. “That explains why you haven’t had any relationships since I’ve known you,” he said, almost to himself. Then his eyes sharpened. “Are you still in love with him?”

“No. Carl left to go overseas and ended up marrying someone else. I realized I’d been in love with the idea of love and that’s all it was.” She sighed. “But it was a good lesson in learning that you can never be sure of another person’s feelings.” Realizing that she was suddenly giving too much away, she tried to be casual. “So, you see, I can only lay claim to one lover and that was a long time ago.”

“I could tell.”

Her composure lurched like a drunken sailor. “I’m sorry. I thought my enthusiasm might make up for any lack of experience.”

“Don’t apologize. Your enthusiasm was great. Damn great,” he said brusquely. “I had a hard time walking away from you.”

Her heart faltered. “You did? I thought you didn’t want me.”

He expelled a harsh breath. “Did my body feel like I didn’t want you?”

She remembered the tense cords of his body burning her flesh through her nightshirt. “No,” she croaked, then had to clear her throat before speaking again. “But what do I know anyway? I thought a man could easily turn it off and on.” Carl certainly had been able to put a stop to anything beyond a few kisses.

“I’m not made of stone like that other guy,” Blake scoffed, reading her mind, but his voice had gentled. “And all this goes to prove to me that I did the right thing this morning. I’m the experienced one here and that means I have a responsibility to you. I’m glad now I didn’t take something from you that you might regret giving later on.”

“You mean my virginity?” Her heart rose in her chest at the respect he’d afforded her.

“Yes.”

“But I’m not a virgin,” she pointed out.

“I know that now.”

He’d rejected her all for nothing? It was admirable, but … “You should have asked me at the time.”

He pursed his mouth. “It’s not only that,” he said, sending her stomach plummeting.

“I see.”

“No, I don’t think you do.” He clenched his jaw. “You were so damn generous, Samantha. You were giving me everything and I was worried that you … er … might look more into this than you should. I just wasn’t sure you could handle any emotional involvement.”

She appreciated where he was coming from with this, but her heart still managed to drop at his words. What was it about her that every man felt they had to warn her off?

“Don’t worry,” she assured him. “I’m not planning on repeating history and losing my heart to anyone in the future.”

His eyes searched hers. “Are you sure?”

“Positive.” Suddenly she felt all-knowing. “Maybe it’s you who can’t handle it, Blake.”

He looked startled, then scowled. “I admit it. I can’t. And to be blunt, I don’t want to even try.” He paused. “But this isn’t about me. I’m thinking of you, Samantha. Not me.”

Her heart tilted. She appreciated his honesty but she could look after herself. And to be equally as honest, how could she give him up without a fight now that she knew he wanted her?

“Blake, thank you for that but you’re doing me an injustice. I’m a grown woman. I know sex doesn’t always mean commitment. I have needs and I know my own mind. I know what I want, and while I’m here …” She looked him straight in the eye. “What I want is you.”

“Hell.”

She flinched. “I’m sorry if that makes things more difficult.”

“Don’t be. It’s your directness, that’s all. It blows me away.”

She felt a rush of warmth. “I do want you, Blake. Very much.”

“Your head—”

“Is on the mend.” She paused, preempting him. “And yes, I’m sure.”

His eyes flared sensuously. “Then do me a favor.”

She moistened her mouth. “What?”

“Go upstairs and put your nightshirt on for me,” he said, his voice turning heavy with huskiness.

She blinked in surprise. “My nightshirt?”

“You looked so sexy in it this morning. I’ve been thinking about it all day. It’s been driving me crazy.”

Sudden awareness danced in her veins. “Does this mean we’re going to—”

“Have sex? Yes.” A tiny pulse beat in his cheekbone. “But only if you’re sure you can handle a purely sexual relationship,” he said, giving her one last out.

Excitement washed over her. He still wanted her.