GINA WILKINS – The Soldier's Forever Family (страница 7)

He vaguely remembered what that felt like.

Absorbed in their own pursuits, no one looked his way. And even if they did glance up, they couldn’t know that his entire life had changed since he’d set out for a jog that morning.

He had a son.

Despite Trevor’s warnings, Adam had little doubt the boy was his. He suspected DNA tests would merely confirm his gut instinct, though he wouldn’t object to the formality. He still found it hard to believe Joanna had deliberately sought him out now for any of the reasons Trevor had implied—for any reason, actually. In fact, she seemed poised to run, taking her—taking their—son without a goodbye. He could hardly blame her for that impulse, considering.

She’d claimed to be unable to locate him. Obviously she hadn’t tried very hard. He wouldn’t make the same mistake if she were the one to vanish now. They had some things to settle before going their separate ways again. He just wished he knew what the hell he was supposed to do next.

A sound from behind him made him turn to find her approaching with a glass of ice water in each hand. She set the glasses on the table, then wiped her palms on her dress, drawing his gaze. She had great legs, long and shapely. He remembered with unexpected clarity exactly how they’d felt wrapped around him. He cleared his throat and shifted his weight, giving her a curt nod. “Thanks.”

Any nervousness that might have been present in her expression earlier was hidden now behind a look of determination. Obviously she’d used the brief time inside to reinforce her defenses. It bothered him that she’d felt it necessary to do so.

“You’re angry with me,” she said.

“No.” His response was automatic.

She held her ground. “Yes.”

He sighed and shoved a hand through his hair. “Okay, yeah. Maybe a bit.”

“You think I could have tried harder to find you.”

He met her eyes. “Yes.”

Her mouth tightened, but she continued. “Even considering the way you left? No phone number. Not even a note.”

Despite the truth of her words, he refused to be placed on the defensive. “I’ve already told you my reason for that.” Part of the reason, anyway. “But you had to have known everything changed with the pregnancy.”

“Everything certainly changed for me,” she said in a strained whisper, looking away. Her right hand went to her stomach, as if in subconscious memory, and he found his mind filled with images of her swollen with pregnancy. His throat tightened painfully.

“I was six weeks along before I realized I was pregnant, or at least before I admitted it to myself,” she said, her hand falling to her side. “You’d made no effort to contact me, so I assumed you’d moved on with your plans, whatever they were. As I said, I did try to reach you through the resort, but I couldn’t get anywhere. Adam Scott is not an uncommon name. I didn’t even know what state you lived in.”

He grimaced. “I was in Afghanistan.”

Her eyes widened. “Afghanistan? You were in the military?”

“Army.”

She moistened her lips, drawing his attention to her soft mouth. “I wondered at the time if you’d served a tour. There was something about your haircut and the way you carried yourself. But you didn’t seem to want to talk about it, so I didn’t push. I had no idea you were on your way overseas.”

He shrugged. “It was my second deployment. And you’re right, I didn’t want to discuss it. The whole point of taking that vacation was to get away from military talk for a few days.”

He’d relished the few days of luxury and relaxation, but he hadn’t been overly concerned about his upcoming assignment. He’d been aware of the dangers he would face, of course, and had considered himself rather noble for leaving no one to worry about his safety. Still, he’d fully expected to return as relatively unscathed as he had from his first, far-less-traumatic mission. Remembering that almost cocky naïveté now made him grimace, though fortunately Joanna didn’t seem to notice.

“How long were you deployed?”

“Ten months.” He didn’t add that it had been a twelve-month tour cut short by an explosive device.

“Which would have made it even harder for me to contact you,” she pointed out.

“It would have been possible,” he muttered. He’d had the right to know about his child, even though he had no clue how he’d have reacted. “Five years, Joanna. Five years I’ve had a son I didn’t know about.”

Her eyes glittered, and the sight of her tears punched him in the gut. His throat ached with the emotions he was choking down. Pain and regret hovered between them as they stood there, gazes locked, both struggling for words.

His phone beeped with a text, shattering the tense moment. The sudden sound startled them both. Unsure whether he was more annoyed or grateful for the interruption, he glanced down at the screen and cursed softly. “There’s something I have to deal with now. Work.”

“Of course,” she said, a bit too readily. “We can talk later.”

He looked up from the phone with a frown. “We will talk later. We still have a lot to discuss.”

She gave a resigned nod. “I’d rather not tell Simon anything about this until after you and I have had that discussion.”

He knew exactly what he felt this time. Relief. He wasn’t at all ready for the boy to know who he was. “Agreed.”

Pushing the phone back into his pocket, he started to turn, then paused, looking over his shoulder. “You’re not going to run, are you?”

She held his gaze when she answered lightly, “Not yet.”

He wished he could take more reassurance in that reply.

* * *

SIMON RETURNED FROM the field trip chattering a mile a minute about everything he’d seen and learned. He hopped out of the van clutching a reusable water bottle imprinted with the aquarium logo in one hand, and a slightly crumpled craft project in the other. Joanna dutifully admired the blue cardboard ocean covered with stickers of all the specimens he’d seen that day. She smiled when she saw that he’d drawn shells on the glitter-embellished “sand” at the bottom of his ocean, including a fairly credible lettered olive.

“This is great, Simon. I’m glad you had a good time.”

“We had a wonderful time,” Miss Molly volunteered, overhearing the comment as she mingled among the reunited kids and parents. “You have a very bright and well-behaved son. He asked such smart questions that I can tell Deborah and I will have to stay well prepared for each day’s lessons.”

Joanna was pleased that Molly seemed more impressed than impatient with Simon’s endless questions. That wasn’t always the case.

“See you tomorrow, Simon, when we’ll go to the maritime museum.”

“’Bye, Miss Molly.” Falling into step beside Joanna, Simon continued to recap his field trip, barely pausing to take a breath as he leaped nimbly from one sandy stepping stone to the next.

She tried to interject the occasional response or question, just to let him know she was paying attention. It was difficult to focus on anything other than her dilemma with Adam. “What was your favorite exhibit?”

He puckered his lips in thought for a moment, then said, “The archer fish! They shoot water out of their mouths at insects sitting on branches above them. The bugs fall in the lake and then the fish eat them. We saw them when the aquarium people put bugs in the tank.”

“That’s a very clever fish.”

Simon grinned up at her. “Bet the bugs wish they were dumber.”

She chuckled. “I’m sure you’re right.”

She loved teasing with her bright little boy, making each other laugh with silly jokes. His laughter could make her smile even after the hardest day. Just standing beside his bed and watching him sleep brought her a deep sense of joy she could never have imagined before she’d had him. They’d been happy in their tidy house in a suburb of Atlanta, their own small refuge.

The idea of sharing him with someone else made her stomach tighten in rejection. Because she recognized the selfishness of that reaction, she shoved it away, assuring herself she wanted only what was best for Simon, whatever that might mean for his future. Of course, she would protect him fiercely from being hurt if she suspected that might happen, but there was no need to borrow trouble. For all she knew, Adam had no interest in fatherhood, no desire to have his bachelor life complicated by a five-year-old.

She wouldn’t be surprised if he offered financial assistance, regardless of how involved he wanted to be in Simon’s life. Granted, she didn’t know Adam well, but she’d pegged him as a man of honor. She wouldn’t accept a dime for herself, of course, but she supposed it would be only fair to allow Adam to open a trust account or make some other financial arrangements for the boy. She couldn’t let her own pride interfere with her son’s best interest, as grating as it would be to surrender even that modicum of parental control. As for any other interaction...she swallowed hard, telling herself again to take it one step at a time.

“I’m sure you’re a little tired after your busy afternoon,” she told Simon. “Would you like to rest awhile before dinner?”

As she expected, Simon shook his head. “I’m not tired. But maybe we could go to the beach and I could build a sand castle?”