Евгений Лиманский – Confession… A fairy tale in the style of sentimental cynicism (страница 7)

So, paying tribute to this undoubtedly brilliant marketing move with the Wilson ball, I nevertheless undertake to argue that our Product placement is much more powerful. Because I do not doubt for a minute, that the reader, having reached this place in the book, is simply obliged to slam it, to get from the stash the treasured bottle of cognac stored for some very solemn occasion. Anticipating the expected pleasure, he swallows his saliva, slowly uncorks the bottle, still slowly and solemnly pours the amber liquid into a crystal glass (also taken for this occasion from an old crystal set stored in the sideboard). Slowly, he sits in his favorite chair, staring through the filled glass to the light bulb of the floor lamp, and finally, as if something deciding he mentally wished himself and his family success and prosperity in life, slowly begins to savor the drink. After a few minutes of leisurely savoring, he suddenly begins to realize that this is the best alcohol that he had to try in life and it, at least, exceeds all his expectations.

But if accidentally the cherished bottle by some strange coincidence is not in his house, he will take out of the stash three thousand rubles, hastily dressed and run to the nearest supermarket to be in time to buy it before the end of the sale of alcohol. He then, carefully clutching a treasured bottle in hand, fast step, get home. And then the mystery follows, which I have already described, with the awareness of divinity and uniqueness of the drink.

I wrote this, and I myself began to drool, so heartfelt, as I think, I managed to do. So, I slowly open the bottle in front of me; carefully pour a full glass to the brim. With the elements of posturing and hussarness, raising the glass with two fingers and with my elbow aside I slowly bring it to my lips. At this place I temporarily say goodbye to you until the end of the sacrament of partaking the best drink in the world.

So we have a lively and natural Product placement. It seems to me; the Hennessy management can appreciate our creativity and will help us to publish this text. Of course, I will leave you some money for the publication of the book, but I suspect that it will not be enough. So actually, you have a simple task, to translate this letter and Preface and send to the Hennessy Trade House and they would decide whether they are interested in it…

Ode to Death

To somehow understand and clear up my mental condition and creativity, I periodically talk with a familiar psychotherapist. She is an interesting woman with categorical thinking, at least with this style of communication. I am interested to communicate with her, moreover, during these conversations with her, I get involved so much that I start to get nervous and get excited. She assures me that something is coming out of my creativity. Sure, I am pleased to hear that, like any author, but I do not believe her. At least because from my life experience you cannot just unexpectedly start to do something well, and even more so, create something outstanding. However, one thing of course is true; she can see the main and summarize it for you. In my case this is that there is an entertaining text (we use this epithet in order not completely belittle the results of my work, by the way, it is also her merit) but it lacks of the very smallest, the main idea. And without the idea, the most talented text becomes just chatter. Before that, it seemed to me that the main idea I just had. My main character is an outstanding person and worthy that to tell people about her and at the same time to prove her uniqueness. However, it turns out that so far I have not been convincing enough that the main idea just automatically arises from reading the text. Well, I will try to prove it through a super idea.

To give myself confidence in what I am saying, I will give you a small example that I came across, listening to the radio presentation by the venerable musician and rock theorist of the best hits in the female performance in the whole history. Moreover, I apologize in advance, if to some snob from the culture this example will seem too simple and uncomplicated, and as frivolous for subsequent global conclusions. I proceed from my cultural level. In the first place of this hit parade there was the legendary hit Janice Joplin “Piece of My Heart”. I agree 100%, but this hit does not bother me enough to be covered with goose bumps. However, the hit of Suzy Quatro in a duet with Chris Norman “Stumblin’ In”, which was in third place, first time hooked me more than forty years ago, and still I listen it with delight and ecstasy and always at the top of loudness. What follows from this? The understanding of the masterpiece manifests not at the notional but on the sensory level. Moreover, it is just highest emotions that are the criterion in choosing the best. That is, the best is determined not by the aggregate and quantity of complex passages or by the breadth of the vocal range, which undoubtedly also matters, but whether your body would be covered with goose bumps from the appearance of harmony between your inner tuning fork and the external, in this case, musical impact. It is an infinite set of such sensual preferences in the aggregate, that creates the phenomenon of a masterpiece. The hit that conquered me in my youth is not the first, but it is in the top. That is, my sensual choice corresponds to global recognition and preference. But whether it is the first or third place, it does not matter. In any case, it is in the top. Means, I am able to distinguish on the sensory level something outstanding from mediocrity, and not by reasoning and inferences, but namely at the sensory level.

From this musical excursus, we will proceed immediately to the proof of the correctness of my choice in case and personality described by me. This proof I would call “Ode to Death.” When the whole story ended and I found myself in the post state in which I found myself, I understood the main and very simple thing. I am not already so interested in anything in this life. How would it be more convincing to say? I have not seen London Tower and Taj Mahal, I did not hear in live Paganini and Horowitz, perhaps I did not try some masterpieces of culinary or winemaking art. Even drugs I have not tried so much to fall into the drug mist irrevocably. I have not seen, or heard, or felt yet much of something in this life that it was supposed to “demolish my roof” and make me a complete apologist for this someone or something. Sorry, I confess there is a small remark. When I was already in these post-conditions, I heard from Vladimir Pozner in his broadcast a short story about how he visited Cape Horn. And the miracle happened, I was hooked. Suddenly I passionately wanted to see this beauty, feel the powerful breath of the ocean, see the frolicking penguins and breathe in the sea breeze. This desire, however, quickly passed, but it was. And this means two things at once, first, of course, the magic power of the word, in this case of a famous journalist, and secondly, the fact that I have not yet died (in all senses). But, continuing the interrupted thought, I want to say that I experienced the highest pleasure and happiness in this life. Pleasure is so highest that the sense of its exclusivity cannot be exceeded already by anything in this world. It is sex. The first thing I hear in response, do not confuse the sour with the fresh, and the second, do not try to discover America again. But I did it, I mean I discovered America again, because, I am not talking about sex in general, namely, about sex with my heroine. And I say this because I have an experiment with about six hundred sex cases and I can say that this is one of the highest achievements in this field. Again, I foresee an objection in the form of the fact that for a particular male, the experience in six hundred sexual cases is a lot, but from the point of view of global conclusions is negligible. But let us return to the example with the hits in female rock, which I spoke at the very beginning, and at once in two aspects. Aspect the first. At the age of nineteen, when I first heard the song of Suzy Quatro, I was not an advanced music lover, and I heard and understood not much in rock, but that did not stop me to get to the point with my inner tuning fork and feeling. Aspect the second. With my conclusion, I do not claim the truth in the last resort and do not define my heroine as an absolute maximum. I just want to say that she is in sex, as well as Suzy Quatro in rock, is in the top. It is objectivity, and then subjectivity begins. It turns out that objectivity is a combination or coincidence of many subjectivities. Incidentally here again we turn to the classic example of Cleopatra, as an undeniable example of sexual talent. The first confirmation is the abundance of fans and applicants, on the principle of “the people’s path to it (in this case to the body) will never overgrow”. And the second is the amount of payment for the opportunity to come into contact with sexual talent, human life is neither more nor less.