Ellie Darkins – Newborn on Her Doorstep (страница 4)

Lily’s face fell. In all the drama she’d somehow managed to forget the chaotic state of her house. There was no way that she could take a baby back there. And if she couldn’t take care of her niece that left only one option. Letting social services place her with strangers. Her gut recoiled at the thought of losing another member of her family, of her and Helen and their past being fractured even further.

‘Don’t look like that,’ Kate said. ‘This is not insurmountable. We can sort this out—’

‘That’s really kind,’ Lily said, her mind still racing, ‘but your place barely has enough room for me to pull out the sofa bed. I’m not sure that—’

‘Not me!’ Kate exclaimed. ‘Good God, no. We’d lose the baby under a stack of briefs or something. Nic’s place—it’s perfect.’

Lily gave a little choke.

‘Nic’s place? I couldn’t possibly impose...’

She couldn’t share a flat with that man—not when she felt drawn to him and afraid of that attraction in equal measure. When her skin tingled just from being in the same room as him.

‘Honestly, you should see his place. It’s ridiculous. A penthouse—overlooking the river, naturally. He told me it was something to do with investing his golden handshake money, and London property prices, and being able to do so much more with the money once he sold up. Personally, I think it might have something to do with sleeping in hostels for the best part of a decade. It’s huge, and he’s barely ever there.’

Even the thought of a Thameside penthouse couldn’t convince her that spending more time with a man who had her wanting him and wanting to run from him was a good idea. But what choice did she have? If she wanted to take care of her niece she couldn’t afford to be picky about what help she accepted. And, anyway, what she thought was probably irrelevant...

‘Nic would never—’

‘Nic will be travelling on and off for the next few months. He’s due to fly out again tomorrow, I think. You won’t see each other much. And if the man who’s preached charity and child welfare at me for the past ten years can’t see it in his heart to give an abandoned baby a home for a few months, then I’ll disown him.’

Somehow Lily didn’t think that was a threat that would carry much weight for Nic.

‘And trash his lovely new apartment,’ she added.

‘Okay, ask him,’ Lily said eventually. What choice did she have?

An awkward silence fell for a few moments, until Kate obviously couldn’t stand the quiet any longer.

‘So, does this little one have a name, or what?’

Lily shook her head. ‘Helen didn’t exactly say.’

‘Well, that’s just not right, is it? She’s had a rough enough start in life already, without ending up being named just Baby Girl. So what are we going to go for: naming her after a pop star or a soap star. Or we could go big and Hollywood?’

Lily raised an eyebrow.

‘Okay, so I’m guessing that’s a no. What do you suggest?’

Lily looked closely at the baby, trying to work out who she was. ‘Look at her,’ Lily said. ‘All pretty and pink and fresh and soft...like a flower. A rose. What about Rosie?’

‘I think it’s perfect,’ Kate agreed. ‘Little Rosie—welcome to the world.’

* * *

Nic’s feet pounded on the pavement as he tried to get thoughts of Lily Baker out of his head—with zero success. Since the moment he’d met her she’d invaded all of his thoughts, forcing him to keep busy, keep working, keep running. But even two days on his body still wouldn’t co-operate, refusing to find the quiet place in his mind where he could retreat from the world.

His sister wasn’t exactly helping, with her pointed remarks and regular updates on how baby and aunt were faring. Did she think he couldn’t see what she was doing? That the strings of her puppeteering were somehow invisible? But he did wonder how the baby was. Kate had said that she was doing well, and the doctors hadn’t seemed worried when he’d left the hospital, but he knew better than most how precarious a new life was, how quickly it might be lost.

Turning for home, he tried to find his usual rhythm, but his feet carried him faster than he wanted, rushing him.

His mobile rang as he reached his flat, and Kate’s latest unsubtle update gave him all he needed to know. No news on the missing sister. Baby apparently doing well in hospital. But somehow it wasn’t enough. What did that mean anyway? ‘Doing well in hospital.’ Surely if the baby was ‘doing well’ then she wouldn’t be in hospital at all. She’d be home, tucked into a cot, safe. And this time Kate had not said anything about Lily.

He hadn’t been able to think of a way to ask about her without raising suspicious eyebrows. He could hardly say, And how about the aunt? The one with the glowing skin and the complicated expressions and the fierce independence? How’s she getting on?

But he was desperate to know. Lily Baker seemed to have soaked into his mind until his every thought was coloured by her. It was no good. The only way he was going to get this woman and her niece out of his mind was to get some answers, some closure.

He saw her as soon as he walked onto the ward. He should have known that she would have been there all night. Had been there for two nights, he guessed. Her hair was mussed, rubbing up against the side of the chair she’d curled into, but her face was relaxed, looking so different from when she’d worn that troubled, burdened expression before.

He knocked on the door, aware that he didn’t want to answer the questions that being caught watching her sleep would give rise to. Lily sat bolt upright at the sound, her hand instinctively reaching for the cot, eyes flying towards the baby. Only once she was satisfied that she was sleeping soundly did she turn towards the door. Her eyes widened in surprise, and he realised how unguarded she was in the moment after waking—how her expression shifted as her eyes skimmed over him appreciatively.

There was no mistaking the interest there, and his stomach tightened in response as he fought down his instinctive reaction. Eventually her eyes reached his, and he saw her barriers start to build as she emerged properly from sleep. Her back straightened and her face grew composed.

The rational, sensible, thinking part of his brain breathed a sigh of relief. He was glad that she was as wary as he was of this energy he felt flowing and sparking between them, the pull that he felt between their bodies. Much as he might find her attractive, he would never act on that. He wasn’t the kind of man she needed in her life. When she found someone she’d need a partner—a father for this child and the ones that would come in the future. She would need someone she could rely on, and he knew that he wasn’t capable of being that man.

But the part of his brain less removed from his primal ancestors groaned, trying to persuade him to get that dreamy look back on her face, to seduce her into softness.

‘Morning,’ he said, rather more briskly than he’d intended. ‘I brought coffee. I know the stuff here’s awful.’

‘Morning. Thanks...’

Her voice was as wary as her expression, and he guessed that he wasn’t the only one who’d thought that they would never see each other again after he’d left the hospital. He wondered if she’d found it as impossible not to think of him as he had of her. Of course not, he reasoned. She had the baby to think about—there was probably no room in her life right now for anything other than feeding, nappies and sleep.

At the sound of her voice the baby had started to stir, and Lily automatically reached out a hand to stroke her cheek.

‘How is she?’

‘She’s fine...good. They’ve said that I can take her home today.’

Home. So that settled it, then. Kate had been right the other day—Lily was going to look after the baby as her sister had asked. And that meant he’d been right to fight off this attraction. Because if there was one thing he was certain of it was that he could never get involved with someone who had a child. He could never again open himself up to that sort of hurt.

Even if Lily’s sister returned, he couldn’t imagine that Lily saw a future without children. He’d seen the melting look in her eye as she’d gazed down at her niece—there was no hiding her maternal instincts.

‘That’s good. I’m glad she’s okay.’ Now that he had his answer he felt awkward, not sure why he had come. No doubt Lily was wondering what he was doing there, too. Or perhaps not. Perhaps his real interest was as transparent to her as it had been opaque to him.

Perhaps he had imagined this energy and attraction—imagined the way her eyes widened whenever her skin brushed against his, the way she flushed in those rare moments when they both risked eye contact. Maybe she saw him as nothing other than the Good Samaritan who had happened to be there when she’d needed someone. If only she knew that when someone else had really needed him, when they’d relied on him to be there for them, he’d let them down.

He glanced up at the name plate above the crib and realised that the little girl was no longer Baby Baker.

‘Rosie?’ he asked, surprise in his voice. Kate hadn’t mentioned that.

‘It seemed to suit her,’ Lily said with a shrug. ‘It’s not official yet. If Helen doesn’t like it...’