Элли Блейк – Blind Dates and Other Disasters: The Wedding Wish (страница 20)

He should change his mind. Thank her for her thorough presentation and send her home. But the words that came out of his mouth were, ‘It’s not complicated. Let’s stop avoiding each other when we could be having so much more fun enjoying each other. At least until the thing you most wish for becomes more imminent anyway.’

There. Now how’s that for a spanner in the works?

Jacob wiped his hands on a clean teatowel, poured two new glasses of wine and grabbed two rolled-up napkins from the kitchen bench. He passed her on his way to the dining table, the determined look in his eyes daring her to disagree with his perfectly sensible proposal.

What thing? Holly wondered, the idea of she and Jacob ‘enjoying each other’ pretty much blotting out the rest of his speech.

Oh, a husband. A partner. Someone to love you. Someone like Jacob.

And like a bolt of lightning it hit her. Right in the stomach. Like a sucker punch. And she was lucky not to have collapsed under its weight.

Talk about complicating things. She was head over heels for Jacob.

Ever since she had seen him dragging his heavy luggage along the footpath, she had been lost. She had been filled with a longing, which she had mistakenly tried to shoulder onto someone else, anyone else, other than the one who had produced it in the first place. She knew without any doubt her husband hunt had been over from the moment it began.

He lay the glasses on the table, unrolled the linen napkins, which contained two sets of cutlery, and shifted a small vase of wildflowers so they would not hamper their view of one another across the table. Every move appeared to her in slow motion.

It cannot possibly be love, she thought. I barely know him. But you can know someone for ever and not love them, so why can’t the opposite be possible? And the unremitting feeling of weightlessness since he’d admitted to merely liking her was like nothing she had ever felt before.

But he’s not the marrying kind and has said as much from day one.

Remember?

And the whole perfect-husband theory meant you were not to fall for a guy like him. A guy who was self-important, shallow and self-serving.

Remember?

But she could not remember how she could ever have thought those things about Jacob. The man whistling melodiously along with the lovely music was confident, to be sure. But more than that he was protective and generous, kind and considerate. He was also barefoot and cooking up a storm. For her.

The stir-fry sizzled enthusiastically and Jacob jogged back to the kitchen and turned off the stove. He grabbed two dinner plates, onto which he heaped generous portions of the delicious-looking dinner.

‘No more excuses, okay,’ Jacob said.

Holly did her best to compose her features to appear the same as she had looked before her alarming revelation.

‘I have cooked enough of this lip-smacking dinner for the both of us. You have no other dinner plans. You are here already. You are able-bodied enough to grab the bottle of wine and bring it to the table. Put down that heavy briefcase and come give me a hand.’

Okay, Holly thought, knowing something had switched inside of her and she was going to have a hell of a time switching back. Whatever you say.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

HOLLY finished off the last morsel on her plate. She had long since discarded her suit jacket. But even in just her filmy frilly top, in the fire-lit room she was warm and cosy.

‘That was heavenly,’ Holly said, patting the napkin to the sides of her mouth and then placing it on the table.

‘Hmm. Heavenly,’ Jacob agreed.

Watching Jacob sitting back, his hands clasped across his stomach, a contented smile lighting his lovely face, it was too easy for Holly to let herself believe he was thinking the same thing she was. That it was heavenly enough just to be sitting there together.

‘Where did you learn to cook like that?’

Jacob reached for his wine. His eyes seemed to narrow briefly as he took a determined gulp, but after swallowing the mouthful he answered her. ‘I moved out of home when I was sixteen so if I wanted to eat more than tinned soup and toast I had to learn how to cook.’

‘Sixteen, really? Were you young and rash and ready to take on the world?’

‘It was more that I was determined to become somebody, to make money and keep it, and to never want for anything.’

‘My biggest ambition at that age was to drive my dad crazy by running off to marry Toby Cox, the cutest boy in my class.’

‘I guess some things never change.’

Holly blushed. As the corners of Jacob’s mouth twitched in the hint of a smile she had a glimpse of the dimples, and it was worth every trace of embarrassment.

‘Did your drive come from your parents, do you think?’ she asked. ‘They usually provoke fairly strong responses from kids of that age.’

‘My strong response was that I did not want to end up like them. Well, not like my father, to be more precise.’

‘Tell me more.’ Tell me everything. Holly leaned forward with her chin on her palm, intrigued, and waited until he was ready to go on.

‘By the time I was a teenager, more of his money was going on surreptitious boozing than paying the bills. Once I caught my poor mother searching Dad’s jacket pockets for loose change in order to pay the milkman. And when she died, he barely left the house, and then only to head down to the local pub. So the day after my sixteenth birthday I left.’

‘I had no idea, Jacob. I didn’t mean to pry—’

‘It’s okay. I’ve never hidden my modest beginnings. In fact, it has been fairly well documented. “Poor boy makes good” is always a better headline than “Rich kid is still rich”.’

Holly glanced at Jacob’s half drunk glass of wine. ‘Was he an alcoholic?’

Jacob smiled ruefully at his glass, gently swirling the contents.

‘Possibly. Though I have always thought him more weak-willed than having an addictive personality. Being drunk was an excuse not to make a decision.’

‘And you have based your life around not being like that?’

‘Absolutely. It was the perfect example of failing to take life by the horns. I find no point in being tied down in one project. Take the risk, reap the rewards, and move on to the next venture.’

He sounded so earnest. But to Holly it felt as if he had said this same speech a thousand times in his head. And it broke her heart. She had known a man who had lived by that maxim and all it had done was hurt those who loved him most.

‘And Anabella?’ Holly asked, her voice soft. ‘She’s younger than you?’

Jacob dropped his intense gaze to the table, but not before Holly was certain she saw a wave of guilt pass over his absorbing hazel eyes.

‘She was only twelve at the time. We wrote to each other a bit and she let on she wasn’t happy, but at the time I figured it was more important for me to make money so that later she would be set.’

Jacob absently took a large gulp of wine.

‘A few years later I came home, a man of means and experience, rid of my resentment towards my father. Or so I thought. I walked in to find half of the furniture gone, a pile of ironing covering the couch and Ana practically tied to the sink. She was only four years older but had aged so that I barely recognised her. Her clothes were ragged, and her hair had been chopped short, by her own hand, I later discovered. My bright, beautiful little sister was all but gone, replaced with this listless, miserable creature.’

‘Jacob,’ Holly whispered. She lifted a finger to cover her trembling lips, blinking fast to clear the tears blurring her vision. What have I begun?

Why did I begin? Jacob asked himself.

But he was unable to drag his eyes away from Holly’s compassionate face. When she looked at me with those big blue eyes and asked such a simple question, about cooking, what made me leap into this tale?

It was like leaping off a bridge but all it had taken was for her to ask, and he had leapt. He felt as if he were dangling over the edge and that Holly had control of the only rope that could bring him back to safety. Yet he had complete faith that she would not let go.

And now he had started he knew there was no way he could stop until the whole thing played itself out.

‘Angered beyond thought, and before I even had the chance to hug the poor girl, I forced her to tell me where he was. Down at the local pub, of course. I found him sitting at the bar, a frail shell of the man I had once known. I tossed him the papers to our family home. I had paid off his mortgage. He glanced at the papers, barely registering the fact of them, much less the enormous symbolic gesture of reconciliation I had offered him. I left in disgust, went home, collected Ana and left without a note, knowing that at least now he could wallow in his own self-misery with a roof over his head but without taking Ana down with him.’

‘So you looked after her?’

Jacob nodded.

‘But you were only twenty.’

‘I know, but what choice did we have? So the next few years I was her rock, her whole life, until she managed to get back on her feet.’ I don’t ever want to feel that exposed again. Having someone else depend so entirely on me. It was just so hard.