Elena Sidelnikova – Lessons Enlightenment (страница 10)

It has no meaning.

No meaning?!

Yes, because meaning is a thought, a formed desire, as thought always strives for something. Even the thought, “I want nothing,” is a desire for a state of non-wanting, but not the state itself. I exist without meaning and without desires.

But now, when you speak with me, you do have thoughts, right? For example, answers to my questions.

Yes. But this is already a completely different level of thinking, which is not even thinking. The process can be compared to ripples on the surface of the ocean when a light breeze touches the smooth water. It is the breeze itself. And the ripples on the ocean are our conversation. But the gentle ripples on the ocean’s surface cannot disturb its calmness.

So this is a kind of meaningless existence, without goals and desires. So why does everyone strive for it?

Because it is the culmination of all desires. No matter where you strive, essentially, you are always striving for enlightenment, always striving towards that ocean of consciousness, whether consciously or unconsciously. This desire is inherently embedded in your essence, in the depth of your being. Because you are that ocean of consciousness, only temporarily having forgotten about it. However, some internal hunger, a sense of internal discomfort in your world, even with all imaginable comfortable external conditions, does not give anyone peace. You may sometimes forget about it, engrossed in one illusion or another. But this magnet is always alive in you and is inexhaustible. Therefore, no matter where you strive, you are actually striving to return to your origin. It’s like a stretched rubber band: the more you stretch it, the stronger the desire to return, and the harder it is to stretch further.

So in this state, there is nothing attractive; it is simply an automatic drive to return, so to speak, a return force. And no one can avoid this return, even if they don’t want to?

You cannot not want it. Because you are the point of return. You may want something that does not belong to you. But as soon as it becomes yours, you want it less and less because you find it within yourself. And in this case, how can you not want what you actually are? If the attractiveness lies in being yourself?

I don’t know. Maybe. But that’s if I consider myself perfect, then I want to be myself. But what if a person has some inferiority complexes? When they are constantly trying to portray someone more complete?

The point is, you are truly complete and perfect. You have everything. Including all the roles you have ever played. All roles. Do you understand? Even the roles played not only by you but by everyone who played them! And all of them are in you. And there is no one before whom you could appear incomplete or imperfect. There is only you.

Attractiveness exists when there is choice. When there are differences. But what can you choose when you are nothing?

Nothing? Didn’t you previously say that we become everything?

It’s the same thing.

I don’t understand.

Well, maybe it will be clearer if we use mathematics. Minus one and plus one together equal zero. Why?

Why?

Because in their combination, there are no differences. Minus one is different from zero, and plus one is different from zero and minus one. But zero is the complete absence of differences. At the same time, zero itself is a point of comparison, a reference point, relative to which a unit and minus one can always arise. Zero itself includes both minus one and plus one, as it resulted from their addition. But zero itself is nothing. Neither this nor that. But everything together.

I didn’t think you were a mathematician.

I am just searching for a clear analogy in your mind.

Becoming nothing. That frightens many.

Why?

Didn’t it frighten you before enlightenment?

No, it didn’t frighten me. Because that very magnet within me became so strong, the “rubber band” stretched so much, that it no longer frightened me; there was only a thirst to return to my whole self, to My True Self. When each of you reaches such a state where return is inevitable and the rubber band is stretched to its limit, then it will stop frightening you.

You see, the thing is, the world around us, with all its imperfections, is so familiar and stable. And what awaits you upon returning to the ocean of consciousness is so unknown… The unknown always frightens.

The unknown is the best thing that can be.

Why?

Because the unknown is a vast space of possibilities, an absence of limitations. It is complete freedom. Stepping into the unknown means freeing yourself from the chains that bind you: fears, attachments, debts, obligations… Complete, absolute freedom from everything.

Well, then. What frightens people is the loss of their identity, with which they identify themselves. It’s hard for us to understand. There is me with my characteristics, aspirations, and, most importantly, my memories of myself. And suddenly, all of this might disappear! It’s like losing your memory. I love someone. But suddenly I might not even recognize this person?

You will recognize everyone and love everyone. It’s a matter of your concept of “I.” It does not exist.

It doesn’t exist?

Yes. Because the “I” is separation. When there is “I” and “not-I.” Thus, the “I” is different from others.

But each drop of the ocean is like another. In essence, there are no such drops. There is just the ocean. The ocean of consciousness.

What is the Ocean of Consciousness? Is there something above it in terms of levels?

It’s difficult to define the undefinable. The very definition already implies separation. When there is difference, and each has its characteristics distinct from the other, it is defined in a specific way. The Ocean of Consciousness is a self-aware, infinite, and eternal substance that encompasses all possible potentials of awareness. But even the word “substance” is incorrect, and all definitions will be very approximate. Because the very word “definition” implies a limit to something. And the ocean of consciousness is limitless. And each of you is limitless just like this ocean of consciousness.

You often emphasize the word “absolute.” So, have you become the Absolute?

I have become the self-aware Absolute. I and He are one. I am Him.

And is He you?

No, not quite. I am Him. But He is even broader than I am.

But you are limitless.

Yes. But His limitlessness is more powerful.

I don’t understand. Is there a gradation of limitlessness?

Rather, it is the depth of limitlessness. You have been told about this.

Yes, I remember. Our Absolute is on the path of self-discovery through separation. And His ABSOLUTE is on the path of self-discovery through deepening into SELF. But actually, there is the Manifest Absolute and the Unmanifest Absolute. So, does that mean you are the Manifest Absolute?

Yes, I am the manifest part of the Manifest Absolute.

You are still a part? What about limitlessness?

It’s again a play on words. I am what you have been told about. At once both a part and the whole. And this is the only difference from Him, because He is simply the whole.

I was told that the goal of the experiment was to become a divine part of the whole and acquire all the qualities of the whole while still being a part. So, you have completed this path and demonstrated that it is possible?

Nothing is impossible. I have completed this path, and each of you will complete it too. But you will do it in your own way. When the fatigue from the game of illusions sets in. When the thirst for perfection becomes unbearable, you will return to your wholeness.

So, there is no point in trying if there is no thirst for perfection? Because it won’t work anyway?

If you have pondered this, then your thirst has already made itself known. And now, with each passing day, it will remind you more strongly. And until you quench this thirst, you will not find peace. You will not be able to be happy in imperfection, knowing that ahead of you lies your perfection.

What is perfection?

When you have everything. And there is nothing more to desire. All desires arise from the lack of something. So you desire something and achieve it. But upon achieving it, you desire the next thing that you don’t yet have. But if you have everything, then you have nothing more to desire. You asked about attractiveness. Remember the joy of achieving what you wanted. Can you imagine the joy of having everything? Everything you wished for and could wish for? Everything. Can you imagine the ecstasy of the perfection of perception?

I am usually told about the perfection of being.

It’s the same. Being is perception.

So, are you saying that achieving the state of the ocean of consciousness is the ecstasy of freedom and having everything?

Yes. That’s right.

But ecstasy implies a peak. And that means a decline will follow.

No. You will continuously be in this ecstatic state of perception, and in it, there can be no declines or anything unpleasant, because everything within you is perfect.

So, it turns out that there is nothing to do in general. Since the thirst has awakened in me, is the rest just a matter of time? Sooner or later, it will become critical, and I will be thrown back to my wholeness, like a stretched and released rubber band?