David Baddiel – The Boy Who Could Do What He Liked (страница 3)

“I CAN’T HEAR YOU!” Stephen bellowed.

Mrs Stokes herself seemed impervious to the sound, fiddling and fine-tuning inside her ears again.

“DO WE HAVE TO GO TO THE DINNER PARTY?” shouted Jenny.

Stephen made a face, meaning, Yes, probably – but I’m still not happy with Mrs 2,000 Years Old here. (Alfie was quite good at reading his dad’s expressions.)

Jenny thought for a moment and then passed Stephen the card, the old one with Mrs Stokes’s name on it and the words in case of emergencies. She raised her eyebrows meaningfully. Alfie watched his dad look at the card for a while and then come to some sort of a decision.

“OK,” said Stephen. “Fine.” He turned towards the old lady. “MRS STOKES! MRS STOKES! WE’RE GOING OUT NOW!!!”

Mrs Stokes nodded and smiled, oblivious to the fact that the feedback from her hearing aids seemed, if anything, to be getting both louder and higher pitched.

“SO, I’D LIKE ALFIE TO STICK TO HIS USUAL ROUTINE IF POSSIBLE. AND DEFINITELY IN BED BY …”

The feedback suddenly stopped. Which meant that when Stephen finished his sentence by saying,

“… 9.35PM!!!”,

it was much too loud.

Mrs Stokes sat back in her chair and said: “Blimey. No need to shout, dear!”

Stephen shut his eyes and took a deep breath. “I was saying,” he said, “that I’d like Alfie to be in bed by 9.35pm if possible. And, before that, to stick to his usual routines.”

“Oh. That’s no problem,” said Mrs Stokes. “Hang on, I’ll make a note of it.”

She opened her handbag, which smelt so much of mothballs that moths from miles around must have flown away, terrified. Nonetheless, Stephen and Jenny and Alfie breathed a sigh of relief as they watched her write.

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