Ариана Баженова – Intertwined Fates (страница 14)
But now his whole appearance expressed obvious displeasure. Slightly disheveled dark hair, a stretched lilac sweater and a slight tremor in his hands – all this gave away in him an extremely busy person who had been pulled out of the work process against his will.
«I don’t have anything ready,» he began without greeting. Noticing my embarrassed look, he continued to press. «I don’t have time to deal with this… crap.»
I was overwhelmed with confusion and awkwardness. How could this be! I prepared for the meeting so much, reread and took notes on several articles on psychology, made a plan, and this project really did look promising! But what bothered me most was something else. Lev and I exchanged glances for so long, and finally the top management took the first step for us – they put us to work together.
My throat tightened with resentment for a moment. «How can he be rude to me on our first meeting!»
«It’s okay,» I smiled politely, keeping my composure, and got back to work. «I have a few ideas on how to structure the work. We’ll split the entire module into four thematic blocks, each of us gets two. You can add a couple of exercises at the end. I’ll take care of the presentation – just send me the information on your blocks. I’ve also started reading a book on our topic, in my opinion, it’s written in an accessible language, useful and without fluff. If you have time, I’d advise you to read it.»
I noticed that he had thawed a little, his gaze had softened, and he sat down more relaxed, leaning back on the sofa. I leaned back after him. We leaned in and moved closer to each other as if by accident.
«What’s the name of the book?» he asked again and opened the online library on his smartphone. A couple of clicks – and he already had it in electronic form.
– What kind of application is this? I’ll install it too, – I did a couple of manipulations on the smartphone and nodded with satisfaction. – What deadlines will we set? By what date will we prepare the drafts of our blocks?
– Somehow you started fussing early… There are still almost four months.
– It’s better to start without rushing earlier, we’ll do everything well, – I shrugged.
Back then, I really managed to live by this principle – until things started falling on me like an avalanche.
– On the twenty-fifth, I’m leaving for a conference in Adler, for a congress of scientists, – he thoughtfully looked at the calendar hanging on the wall. – And from the twenty-first to the twenty-third, I’ll be in Novosibirsk.
– In Novosibirsk? – I perked up and thought that I had misheard. I still had the warmest memories of that town. – It’s freezing there now, dress warmer. What will you do there?
– We are presenting a training program for students of technical specialties. I will be giving a lecture on diagnostics of faults in program code at the Polytechnic.
– How great! – my eyes sparkled with admiration. – There is a good academic environment there. I am from Novosibirsk State University. Have you heard of it?
– Yes, I was there, talked to the rector. He is a bit funny, reminds me of a character from some TV series, – he laughed.
– Okay, then we will just work, we will agree closer to the matter when we meet to discuss, – I stood up and headed for the exit. – Have a nice day.
That’s it. The whole fateful first meeting took no more than ten minutes. I pursed my lips, trying to calm the annoyance flaring up inside.
I carefully walked in heels across the freshly washed slippery floor and again plunged into the frost nipping at my skin. An unpleasant aftertaste remained inside, and I shuddered. «Nonsense! So, all this time of waiting – and you tell me at our first meeting that everything is crap, and laugh at my rector?» I raised an eyebrow. Honestly, naively, but inside I had a hope that he would immediately say something like «Finally we met!», or maybe immediately confess his love to me. Sounds funny. But my intuition told me that everything is yet to come.
Despite the strange first meeting, I was extremely interested to know how Lev felt about me, and what was behind his demonstratively dismissive behavior. If only there was a way to look into his thoughts…
And then, on the way home, it dawned on me. Such a way exists!
As soon as I entered the apartment, my hand itself reached for the Tarot cards, which had long been resting on the shelf unused. Obviously, now was their time. I felt that this was not just like that and that there was a «second bottom» to the situation of our meeting and communication in general.
I drew the curtains, brewed myself some mint tea, lit a few candles that filled the room with a soft amber light, and reached for the cards. I took the deck in my hands, feeling the familiar strange warmth from it, and began to shuffle.
«Kira, stop it! Are you possessed by the devil? He’s married, stop it. Why do layouts on him?» – was beating in my head, but I could no longer stop. I wanted to know the truth.
– Cards, tell me, how does Leo see me?
With a slight movement of my hand, I pulled out three cards face down and turned them over. The High Priestess, the Nine of Wands, and the Queen of Swords were looking at me.
The High Priestess card apparently said that Leo saw or felt this cold, deep femininity and intuition in me first.
Only after several months had passed did I learn that the High Priestess card has long meant a lover.
Next to the priestess lay the Nine of Wands card. It depicted a long row of wands – and in the foreground stood a man, clutching another wand to himself. His head was bandaged, and fear was clearly written on his face. «Leo thinks that I am afraid of something. Or is he afraid of himself? Of me? Or of what might arise between us?»
Finally, the Queen of Swords. As befits the Knight of Swords, Leo communicated with me in a tense, businesslike manner. He saw in me the predominance of intelligence and determination. But this is only a part of me! I wanted other people, and especially Leo, to see in me my true archetype – the decisive and soulful Queen of Wands, the lady of fire.
– What is the most likely prospect for the development of our communication and joint work? – I asked the next question.
The cards gave me an answer from three major arcana: the High Priestess in blue robes looked at me piercingly again, to which the empress and strength were added.
Even then I knew that one of the interpretations of the priestess card is a
But the Empress card caused a subconscious rejection in me – this is the sunny, active, socially approved side of femininity. There is nothing bad in the Empress archetype itself, but it too clearly symbolized the legal wife and future mother, basking in the warm rays of the sun – she is accepted and loved by society. Together with her light hair, she reminded me of her – Christina, who recently looked at me with such anger in the dining room.
Yes, the legal wife, relatives and colleagues perceive her as a sunny person and a good match for Leo. But the first cracks of unhappiness have already appeared inside her – she senses trouble.
So, the cards of the Priestess and Empress, which have long denoted a mistress and a wife, lay eloquently next to each other. And I was still torn by doubts – should I go further and immerse myself in this story? But something beckoned and drew me in. The last card, Strength, depicted a girl in flowing white robes and a wreath in her fair hair, who with her graceful hands embraced the head of a lion and its gaping mouth with sharp fangs. A symbol of spiritual strength and fortitude, the ability to cope with destructive impulses.
Another – literal – meaning of this card was revealed to me later. It literally depicts our zodiac signs: the embrace of Virgo and Leo – that is what awaits us.
***
The intoxication of the twist of fate passed, and the previous string of everyday life returned – work, work, work. I made sketches for our project in parallel with many other tasks. Unfortunately, there was a lull on Lev’s part. I also did not get in touch on principle.
– So, how are you working with Lev? – my boss asked cautiously on my last day before my December study leave, sorting through documents on a table littered with stacks of papers.
– He doesn’t seem particularly eager to work on the project, – I frowned slightly.
– He said that you «keep him in good shape,» – she laughed.
– Yes, I made him read a book on psychology.
– She made him! As if he has time to read books! He’s very busy, – she frowned. – Oh well, he’s a responsible boy, he’ll read.
«What kind of boy is he? «He is ten years older than me,» I noted to myself in surprise. But he really was young in spirit, childish in character and slightly naive in some of his actions. Unfortunately, he did not take the project as seriously as I did, putting it aside for the sake of managing the lab. Alas, for him it was another useless task from the top management, and for me it was a thin thread between us.
«I didn’t exactly force you, I just recommended it,» I smiled modestly.