Anne Fraser – Mistletoe, Midwife...Miracle Baby (страница 4)

‘Sean?’ He suddenly became aware that Maggie was watching him curiously. He gave himself a mental shake. The mystery of Ellen, if there was one, would have to wait. He was due back at the hospital for a ward round, he still had Ellen’s car to shift, and, after his earlier exertions, was in need of a shower. Ellen wasn’t going anywhere for the next couple of weeks at least, so he would have plenty of time to satisfy his curiosity.

Ellen stood a little back from the window, watching as Sean expertly reversed her small car down the driveway. She wondered if he remembered the last time they had seen each other. She hoped to hell not. Her cheeks still burned every time she recalled what an idiot she’d made of herself. She had practically thrown herself at him, virtually begging him to kiss her. And he had, but then, as she’d leaned into him, wanting more, he’d gently disentangled her arms from around his neck. She remembered every second of that kiss. Before it, she’d been waiting so many years for him to notice that she’d grown up. She had dreamt so many girlish dreams of what it would be like to have Sean Jamieson kiss her. It had been her last chance. He had been going to Glasgow to complete his training and she had been going to London to start hers. What an idiot he must have thought her. How cringe-makingly embarrassing, her gauche and increasingly desperate attempts to get him to notice her. Then she’d made up that stupid story and he had kissed her, and that had made her fall in love with him even more, if that was possible. When he’d removed himself from her arms, she had wanted to die from mortification. Not that he had laughed, although she was certain she’d seen laughter lurking in his eyes, or even suggested by word or gesture that he’d known how she’d felt about him, but he had been too much of a man of the world not to have noticed.

But that was a long time ago. What did it matter that once, eight years ago, she had made a fool of herself? These days it was hard to care about anything. Over these past weeks, all she’d felt was numb. Numb and frightened. So frightened some nights she could hardly sleep. Maybe instead of coming here to Gran, she should have gone to her mother? Maybe under these desperate circumstances Mum would have been able to comfort her, be the mother to her she’d never been when she was a child. Mother loved her. She just wasn’t able to invest any of her considerable energy into parenting her. She had always known that and until now it hadn’t mattered. She’d always had Gran. Gran had more than filled any gaps left by her mother. But Gran couldn’t fix this. No one could.

Ellen’s head was spinning. She had to stop thinking that anyone could help her. She had to pull herself together. Work out how she was going to live the rest of her life.

She looked out of the window. Sean had driven her car down the drive and was removing her suitcases from the boot. He disappeared from view and she could hear his deep voice coming from downstairs. She sighed. There was something so vital and solid about him that still drew her. As a child she’d always felt Sean was invincible and anyone in his sphere was automatically included in that invincibility. But she was no longer a child. And her problems were certainly of no interest to him.

As he stepped out of the door, something made him look up at her window. For a moment their eyes locked and everything spun into the distance. Breathless, she stepped back. Her heart was beating like a bass drum. Why? Any feelings for Sean Jamieson had disappeared with the girl she used to be. And even if there was something still hidden there, she was in no position to be even contemplating a love affair. That part of her life was over, finito. Not even a remote possibility.

With a sigh, she turned away from the window and set about finishing her unpacking.

CHAPTER TWO

A COUPLE of days later, Ellen came down to breakfast to find Sean sitting with his feet propped up on the range, munching on a bacon sandwich.

He stood up and grinned at her.

‘Good morning. I’m afraid I’ve been taking advantage of Maggie again.’

‘Wheesh now, Sean. You do more than enough for me, a wee sandwich is nothing.’ Maggie turned to Ellen. ‘Sean’s just got back from a night on the mountains. I happen to know he doesn’t keep much in that larder of his so I told him that he wasn’t going home until I had fed him.’

Ellen helped herself to tea from the pot and took a slice of toast from a heaped plate. She wasn’t hungry but if she didn’t have something Maggie’s suspicions would be aroused and she would give her no peace until she had wheedled information out of her. As it was, her grandmother had spent the past couple of days trying to tempt Ellen with home baking, complaining that women weren’t meant to be so thin.

‘What happened?’ Ellen asked Sean.

‘We had a climber with a broken leg about halfway up the mountain. We found him easily enough but the rescue ‘copter couldn’t land because of poor visibility. These boys take chances and they nearly came to grief trying to get a winch down, but in the end they had to back off. It took the six of us almost eight hours to get the stretcher down the mountain.’

It was all said matter-of-factly but Ellen knew that conditions must have been horrendous. It hadn’t stopped snowing since she’d arrived and last night there had been strong winds too. However, looking at Sean, no one would have guessed he’d been out all night. Apart from a five o’clock shadow, which Ellen decided suited him, he looked more refreshed than she felt.

‘Is the casualty going to be okay?’

‘I expect the hospital will discharge him later today once they’ve put him in plaster,’ Sean said. ‘My biggest worry was hypothermia, but we managed to keep him warm enough.’

Sean stood up and stretched lazily. As he did so, his sweater rode up, revealing the dark hairs on his lower abdomen. To her dismay, Ellen felt a strange buzzing sensation go through her. Wasn’t her crush on him well and truly a thing of the past and didn’t she have enough on her plate without reacting to Sean Jamieson? On the other hand, after the past two weeks, when she hadn’t been able to think of anything except her illness, it was a welcome relief to realise she was still functioning as part of the human race and that she could still feel something.

‘I should go into town and get some supplies,’ Sean said. ‘I can see from the way your car is hidden by the snow, Ellen, that you haven’t been anywhere. You could come with me if you like.’

‘Thank you, but no.’

‘Oh, for goodness’ sake, child, you haven’t been out of the house these last two days,’ Maggie scolded. ‘As long as you wrap up, a bit of fresh air will put some colour in those cheeks. And, besides, we do need some things from the shop. If the snow carries on like this we may well be snowed in and I’m not sure we have enough in the larder to keep us going.’

‘But Sean must be tired,’ Ellen protested. ‘And what about work?’

‘I’m used to doing without sleep. I’m on call tonight so I have the morning off.’

‘Okay, then,’ she said reluctantly. She didn’t want to be alone with Sean but she could hardly refuse to get some shopping for her grandmother.

Sean and her grandmother shared a look. Ellen realised she had sounded rude and ungrateful. Sean was only being polite. He wasn’t to know that she didn’t trust herself to spend any more time with him than was strictly necessary.

She made herself smile. ‘Thanks for the offer, Sean. I really don’t fancy having to dig my car out.’

‘Good. I want to check up on one of my patients, though. If you don’t mind, perhaps we can call in at the hospital on the way back? It’s sort of on our way.’

Alarm spiralled down Ellen’s spine. She didn’t want to go into the hospital. She most certainly didn’t want to go to the maternity ward. She simply wasn’t ready yet. She forced the panic away. She could stay in the car. He couldn’t make her go inside. She was getting het up over nothing.

‘If you give me a couple of minutes,’ she said, knowing she didn’t have the energy to argue with both Sean and her grandmother, ‘I’ll go and change into something warmer.’

‘So how long do you think you’ll be staying?’ Sean asked as they drove along the narrow roads made even narrower by the drifting snow piled up on either side. Her grandmother’s croft house was around ten miles from the city centre and all the major supermarkets. Although there was a village within walking distance, it only stocked the basics.

Ellen looked out of the window. She had no idea how long she was going to stay. She hadn’t thought that far. The need to come to her grandmother’s house had been overpowering and instinctive. She had asked for and been granted three months’ leave by the hospital where she worked. One day she’d have to decide what she was going to do, she certainly couldn’t live with her grandmother indefinitely, at least not without working, but every time she thought about going back to her empty flat in London and the midwifery unit, a sick feeling washed over her. Perhaps she could get a job in the village? In one of the shops maybe?