Андрей Ельников – Make the world a better place. Start with yourself (страница 3)

1. A joint search – if there is the will and time to examine facts and meanings, a compromise can always be found.

2. A respectful closing of the topic – if there is no will or time.

This way we preserve dignity – our own and that of the other person – and save energy for meaningful actions rather than wars of opinion.

Balance does not mean “everything is allowed for everyone.” Balance means “each person is responsible for their own, without intruding on others’.” We do not judge people by labels or identity; we look at actions. If actions cause harm, we have the right to say “no,” to set boundaries, to seek protection, to defend them. A respectful refusal is also a language of creation: it protects our world without unnecessarily destroying someone else’s.

Three Rules of Compatibility

1. Assume good intentions and verify reality. Ask first, then judge.

2. Consent before help. Even a sincere impulse can hurt if it’s imposed.

3. Respect people, evaluate actions. The person is never under attack; actions are the focus of the conversation.

Small Practices of Balance

– One shared meter: leave places cleaner than they were – at home, at work, in the yard.

– One phrase instead of an argument: “It seems we’re looking from different sides. Shall we try to find common ground, or close the topic?”

– One gesture of respect: thank those whose “quiet work” makes shared spaces better – janitors, concierges, drivers, cashiers.

– One boundary check: “It’s important for me to have calm during this time. Can we agree?”

– One look of curiosity: when encountering something unfamiliar, ask a clarifying question or simply walk by without judgment or condemnation.

We maintain balance when we build our own space while leaving room for others. This way, our world becomes compatible with other worlds – at home, in the community, in the city, in the network. And for this balance to hold not only through rules but also through warm practice, we need a shared way of speaking.

“Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates depth. Kindness in giving creates love.”

Confucius, philosopher, thinker, and teacher, one of the most influential sages in human history, founder of the Confucian tradition

Each of us has our own world: our habits, rhythms, and views. But there is something common that binds us more strongly than any differences: the air we breathe, the water we drink, the roads we walk, the stairwells, parks, and riverbanks where we long for cleanliness and comfort. We are different – and yet almost all of us want the same thing: for life to be orderly, safe, and warmly human. Even if someone drops a candy wrapper on the road, leaves trash after a picnic, or walks past a fallen person, the desire to see clean streets, cared-for nature, and a kind, bright world is shared by most.

The language of creation is the way of speaking and acting so that what unites us prevails over what divides us. Not “who is to blame?” but “what do we do?” Not shame and command, but request and suggestion. Not argument for victory, but agreement for results. This language builds bridges everywhere: at home, in the yard, at work, online, and even in another country, where people may look at us with curiosity because we are something new. Today they marvel at us – tomorrow we will marvel at someone else. We do not take offense at novelty; we turn it into a reason for respectful dialogue or a quiet passing-by without judgment.

Four Pillars of the Language of Creation

1. “The bags have been scattered near the container” instead of “Who made a mess again?”Observation without accusation. Speak about the fact without attaching labels.

2. “We want a clean yard and a clear walkway.”Shared intention. State clearly what we all want.

3. “I’ll collect everything today by 7 p.m. Who can secure the lid with a clamp tomorrow?”Concrete request/step. What, where, when, and by whom it will be done.

4. “Thank you to everyone who helped. It’s cleaner now – let’s keep it this way.”Gratitude and closure. Acknowledge the result and reinforce the norm.

This simple framework changes the tone of conversation: instead of “you all must,” it becomes “let’s do this together.” Instead of conflict – compatibility of worlds.

Phrases That Work (Without Morality or Pressure)

– Entrance / yard. “Hi neighbors. A box has appeared on the landing and is blocking the passage. I’ll take it out today, but maybe we can agree to leave large items near the elevator until pickup? Thanks.”

– Park / nature. “After resting, let’s take our bags with us. There’s no container at the entrance – let’s leave no trace so it’s just as cozy next time.”

– Road / public transport. “Thank you for letting me through” / “Could you tell me where it’s safer to cross?” – short, polite phrases reduce tension better than any signal.

– Difficult situation. If you see someone on the ground – don’t just walk by: “Are you okay? Do you need help?” If in doubt, call for assistance (local emergency number).

– Home or work chat. “Looks like we have different views. I suggest we either check the facts and solve the issue directly, or close the topic to avoid arguing. Sound good?”

Home and Loved Ones: Warmth Without Control

Harmony in the family rests not on “I know better,” but on respect and clear agreements. We ask: “Do you need help? What exactly?” – and we accept “no.” We phrase requests without reproach: “Could you keep it quieter after 10 p.m.? It’s important for me to get some sleep.” We give thanks for the small things – and the small things become the norm.

Differences and Identity: People Are Different, the Goal Is Shared

Nationality, skin color, orientation, eye shape, piercings, tattoos, hairstyle – none of these matter; what matters are actions. Each of us has grown up with our own truth, and every truth has the right to exist as long as it does not turn into actions that cause harm. When views diverge, the language of creation gives us two honest paths:

· Work it out together and find a common solution or compromise (if there is willingness and time);

· Close the topic respectfully – this way we preserve connection and save energy for things that are useful.

“In private – the hard things, in public – the good things.”

Praise in public, discuss the hard things in private. Public gratitude reinforces good practices; a private conversation without blame helps preserve dignity and change behavior.

Tone Rules That Keep the Bridge

– Use “we” statements instead of “you all”: “Let’s…,” “We’ll do…,” “We’ll keep…”

– One request at a time, with a clear time frame. Specifics spark action.

– The right to say no. A request is not a command: “If it’s convenient / Whoever can.” This grows genuine participation.

– Fewer words, more deeds. Always be ready to take the first step yourself.

One Minute of Creation

1. Notice – without labeling.

2. Take a doable action.

3. Communicate briefly and to the point.

4. Thank those who supported.

Repeat – and it becomes the language of the place: at home, in the yard, at the office, in the community.

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