Алексей Оносов – Happynomics: The theory and practice of a happy life (страница 2)
"Doc, I’m ridiculously happy. Like, all the time. Is that… a problem?"
The doctor nods thoughtfully.
"Hmm. And how long have you been experiencing these… symptoms?"
I’ve always been curious about what was already out there on the topic of happiness. Turns out, there are thousands of books with the word "happiness" in the title, but almost all of them are fiction.
Finding serious, research-based material wasn’t easy. And even when I did, it usually lacked substance. Most of the time, I’d come across case studies or abstract theories that didn’t really connect to everyday life. Sometimes one idea was stretched across the whole book, padded with filler and buzzwords. A lot of it sounded more like quantum physics than something practical.
Maybe one out of every ten books, or even one in twenty, actually offered something useful you could apply in real life.
And even those were usually aimed at people who were already doing well emotionally, mentally, and physically. But what if you’re not? What if you’re barely holding it together and still carrying around a lot of unresolved trauma? In that case, even the best advice won’t stick.
First, you have to confront your inner demons and rebuild your emotional strength. Only after that does the rest of the advice start to work.
I watched just about every video I could find on the topic. I even made it through Oscar Hartmann’s1 marathon-length podcast, the one where he talks about what people need in order to be happy.
While working on the 100 Business Heroes book series, I made a point of asking every entrepreneur the same question: What is happiness, and how do you achieve it? I asked that same question to every guest on my Business Practices YouTube channel as well.
The more I explored the topic, the more I realized how little clear and accessible information was actually out there. That surprised me and pushed me to keep going. It felt like I had stepped into a wide open space that barely anyone had mapped. It was a little intimidating, but also genuinely exciting.
Lately, I’ve made a habit of asking everyone I meet a simple question: What is happiness, really? And the wildest thing is, even people who’ve lived full lives, who’ve seen and done it all, still struggle to answer. Isn’t that something?
Everyone on the planet wants to be happy, yet almost no one can clearly explain what happiness actually is. Most people just say it’s a tough question, or that it means something different for everyone. But I rarely get a clear or satisfying answer.
One response that really surprised me came from a smart, successful, well-traveled person with a PhD and a wealth of life experience. When I asked what happiness was, they simply said, "I don’t know." Sure, I’ve said the whole "I know that I know nothing" line myself. But when even smart, wealthy, and accomplished people can’t explain what happiness is, it shows there’s a serious gap in how we understand it. Some people say happiness is fleeting – you either have it or you don’t, and there’s nothing you can do about it. Like the weather. When the sun is out, we feel good. When it’s stormy, we feel terrible. And we just accept that.
But what if that storm doesn’t pass? What if it stays cold and windy not just for a day or a week, but for months or even years? What if depression settles in for a decade, slowly tightening its grip?
For many people, that’s a reality. And often, there’s no clear reason behind it. The circumstances might seem fine, but the emotional weight is still crushing. A bad mood that lasts a day or two is one thing. But when it drags on for years, it becomes something else entirely.
Later on, we’ll take a closer look at what might actually be causing these kinds of emotional states.
On the other hand, sometimes it’s the complete opposite. There are people with no arms or legs who are still genuinely happy and successful. Some even travel the world, giving talks and teaching others how to find happiness for themselves. You’ve probably heard of Nick Vujicic. And if you haven’t, his books are absolutely worth checking out.
How you respond to the present moment is up to you. You can be like a weathervane, spinning in every direction with the slightest breeze, convinced that your happiness depends on outside forces – other people, random events, anything but you.
As long as your inner state is tied to what’s happening around you, life will always feel unstable and out of your hands.
Or you can choose to believe that you’re in charge of your own happiness, and that you have the power to create it from within.
Creating your own happiness is actually pretty simple. But simple doesn’t mean easy. Think of it like lifting a 100–kilogram barbell. On paper, it sounds straightforward. In theory, both a professional lifter and a total beginner can do it.
But for one, it takes no effort. For the other, it requires years of training. That doesn’t mean the beginner can’t get there. They just need time, commitment, and daily practice. The same goes for happiness.
You can train it. You can build it. You can make it a habit.
But let’s come back to the big question. What is happiness? Searching online didn’t help much. I still couldn’t find a clear answer.
And "success" wasn’t any better. No one could define that either. Most answers seemed to suggest that you have to be successful to be happy. As if happiness means earning a million dollars, getting married, landing your dream job, buying a flashy car, getting six-pack abs, and so on.
But is that really it?
Think back to something you desperately wanted. Something you finally got. How long did that sense of true happiness actually last? An hour? A day? A week? A month.
Probably not very long. And then what? Chances are, you quickly felt that familiar voice creep in – "Okay, so what?"
Almost immediately, your mind starts shifting. "Maybe happiness isn’t in this phone. It’s in the newer one."
"It’s not this car. It’s the one that’s ten times more expensive."
"It’s not this yacht. It’s the one that’s twice the size."
Even if you imagine reaching every goal you’ve ever dreamed of, pulling up to Monte Carlo on a ridiculously expensive yacht, you’d expect to feel like you’ve made it, right?
But that feeling lasts only until a mega-yacht glides by, towering over yours, and a group of gorgeous people on board gives you a smug little smile.
Suddenly, your yacht doesn’t feel so special anymore. And now, you’re craving something even bigger.
It’s like chasing a carrot on a stick. Or running toward the horizon. No matter how far you go, it’s always just out of reach.
So why does it matter to define happiness clearly?
Because until we know exactly what we’re talking about, it’s just a vague idea. We won’t know where to begin or what we’re aiming for. It stays a moving target.
Ideally, we could treat it like a real field of study – a science of happiness. There’s definitely room for that. We need better tools, clearer language, and more practical methods. Some great work has already been done, but we’d benefit from a more structured, systematic approach. Imagine if there were actual training programs designed to help people get better at being happy. That’s something truly worth building.
CHAPTER 2
TRUTH
A wise guru was once walking along the shore of a vast ocean when he saw a strange man trying to fill a bucket with a spoon just a few feet from the water’s edge. The guru, curious, asked what he was doing. He received a rather astonishing reply: the man was simply trying to empty the ocean. The renowned guru burst out laughing and started pointing at the madman, exclaiming, "You’re insane! That’s impossible! You think you can scoop out the entire ocean with a spoon and fit it into that little bucket? You’re wasting your time!" The man, without looking up, simply said, "Don’t bother me," and went back to filling his bucket.
The guru couldn’t just walk away from something like that, so he started arguing with the madman, trying to get him to stop this senseless activity. After about half an hour of fruitless arguing, he was exhausted and sat down beside the man to rest. It was only then that the man with the spoon began his revelation:
"You are trying to understand a truth that is immeasurably greater than the capabilities of the mind. The ocean is much larger than this bucket, but the universe is significantly, far more significant than the mind – many times over, thousands, millions, billions of times larger.
And you are trying to grasp the universe using thoughts, expressing them through words, which are even more limited than the mind itself – like the bucket and the spoon, but on a much bigger scale.
It’s impossible. Even if you spent a thousand lifetimes, you couldn’t do it."
Alright, so here, as is typical in these kinds of parables, the guru achieved enlightenment right then and there.
What’s the point of all this? Well, naturally, we’re trying to find truth in this book. But grasping it is inherently impossible. Though we will be giving it a shot.
You can’t truly know truth; we can only strive to get closer to it as best we can. Let’s just accept that as a given for now.