Abigail Gordon – Christmas At Willowmere (страница 3)

Anna shook her head. ‘It’s no good, Glenn. I’ve fallen out of love with you. I’ve had time to step back and take a look at where I was heading and have changed my mind.’

‘Are you telling me in a roundabout way that there’s someone else?’ he asked harshly.

‘No. I’m just telling you that I want out. I’ve changed my mind.’

‘Because Julie has died?’

‘Partly, but not just because of that.’

‘So what else, then?’

‘I’ve told you, I’ve just had time to think about things.

About us. It’s not going to work. Will you please go?’

‘Yes. I will,’ he said coldly, and followed it with, ‘I’m so sorry about what has happened. Give your brother my condolences. I’ll see myself out.’

He went back to Africa the day after she’d demoralised him with her change of heart, and there had been no communication of any kind from her since the day she’d dumped him without the slightest warning. He’d thrown himself into his difficult and often dangerous work in an attempt to forget her and forced himself to move on.

So why had he come back now? Gazing through the mullioned window of a pleasant chintzy bedroom beneath the eaves of The Pheasant later that morning, he knew it was need that had brought him here.

For a long time he’d been bound by the needs of others. Now it was his own need that was driving him. He was drained mentally and physically after what he’d had to do and what he’d had to observe, and ached for Anna’s presence in his life once more, but when he recalled the way she had wiped out what they’d had together in just a few abrupt sentences he hadn’t any high hopes regarding that.

He’d been lost for words when she’d told him of the passing of her father. What kind of a life had she been living during the years they’d been apart? he wondered. He could have helped make it easier if she’d given him the chance.

Maybe the coming evening would bring a better understanding between them, but he wasn’t too hopeful. Getting to know Anna again was not going to be easy.

Physically she hadn’t changed as much as he had. The red-gold of her hair was the same, although instead of hanging long on her shoulders, as it used to, it was now in a short, smooth bob framing a face that had no special claim to beauty other than big hazel eyes with long lashes and a kind mouth.

Personality-wise it seemed a different thing, and he supposed he shouldn’t be surprised. Trying to fill the gap that their mother had left for those two children and being there for her father and brother must have left little time for her to pursue her own life.

He had never experienced family closeness such as hers. His home life had been a poor thing by comparison and it was why he longed for children of his own, so that he could give them the love that he’d never had.

After years of mayhem in war-torn lands, it had felt as if this beautiful village, which had always meant so much to Anna, had been beckoning him, and he’d decided to have one last sighting of her before he closed the pages of a book that was only half-written.

So far he’d accomplished two things. He’d found her out there on the snow-covered street and she’d agreed to meet up with him later. With regard to anything else, he was prepared to wait and see.

James was in Reception, talking to Elaine Ferguson, the practice manager, when Anna came through the main doors of the surgery, and he saw immediately that something was amiss.

When he’d finished speaking to Elaine he followed her into the smaller of the two rooms where the nurses performed their functions and asked, ‘What’s wrong? You look like you’re in shock. You didn’t have problems getting the children to school, did you?’

She managed a smile. ‘I encountered some reluctance to leave the snow behind, but once they were inside and settled they were fine.’

‘So what is it, then?’

‘I’ve just met someone I haven’t seen in years.’

‘Who?’

‘Glenn Hamilton.’

‘The guy you met at university?’

‘Yes. He’s back home for a while and looking up old friends.’

‘So what’s wrong with that?’

‘Nothing, I suppose. It was just a shock, seeing him here in Willowmere,’ she said, thinking how that was putting it mildly!

At the time she’d broken up with Glenn the only things that had been registering with James had been his wife’s death, the needs of his children and his sister’s recovery from her injuries. What had been going on in her private life had been a blur, and in any case he’d never met Anna’s boyfriend.

‘So where has he been all this time?’

‘He’s a doctor and has been working with one of the aid organisations in Africa. ‘It’s what I’ve always wanted to do but the accident put paid to that.’

‘I’ve never heard you say that before!’ he exclaimed.

‘Why would I mention it?’ she said gently. ‘It belongs to the past. Though it is something I might do in years to come.’ And the thought was there that it wouldn’t be the same without Glenn beside her.

‘And he wants to see you again for old times’ sake, is that it?’

She shrugged. ‘So it appears. Glenn has booked into The Pheasant for a few days and because I didn’t have time when we met to talk to him properly, I’ve agreed to meet him there tonight for a drink. You haven’t got anything planned, have you?’

‘No,’ he said immediately, ‘and if I had I would cancel it. Why don’t you ask him round for a meal? I’d like to meet him. Any friend of yours is a friend of mine, though I don’t recall you ever mentioning him much in the past.’

‘There was nothing to tell. He went working abroad and we kept in touch for a while and that was it. The Glenn I knew in those days was clever and caring in his approach to medicine. That was why he was so eager to help the world’s suffering.’

‘You weren’t in love with him then?’

Her reply was evasive. ‘We were close at one time but it didn’t work out.’ She glanced around her. ‘And I’m here to work, aren’t I? Though surprisingly there doesn’t seem to be anyone needing to see a nurse at this moment.’

‘There soon will be,’ James promised, and putting to one side for the moment the discussion they’d just had he went to call in his next patient.

But as the morning progressed and those who had come to consult him came and went, it kept coming back, and he thought, as he’d done a thousand times, that he owed his children’s wellbeing and his sanity to his sister.

It had been she who had been there for him during days and months of despair after he’d lost Julie, and at the same time she’d helped look after the babies that had been left without a mother, while making a slow recovery from her own injuries.

It concerned him constantly that she’d had to put her plans on hold for their father’s sake and his, yet every time he brought up the subject Anna always told him gently that she was fine and he would be the first to know when she wasn’t.

He’d been able to tell from what she’d said that the Hamilton fellow had been a close friend. He remembered Anna saying that someone from university had called some weeks after the accident, but he’d been at the practice at the time and with so much on his mind it had barely registered.

During Anna’s last year at university and when she’d come home at the end of it, he’d been so concerned over Julie’s difficult pregnancy and his father’s failing health that what had been going on in his sister’s life had passed him by.

For instance, he hadn’t known until today that she’d wanted to work abroad when she’d qualified and had given up that idea because she’d been needed back home. They’d always been a close and loving family but Anna’s devotion had gone way beyond the call of duty.

He supposed he should have married again, giving her back the freedom she’d so willingly forfeited. But the thought of replacing Julie was more than he could bear, and if he ever did meet someone who came near to her in his affections, would she want a widower with two young children for a husband? Anna adored Polly and Jolly just as much as he did, but his was the responsibility.

There had been blood tests to do during the morning, along with injections, dressings to change and other duties that went with the job for Anna and Beth Jackson, the other practice nurse, and as always the time flew past. There was no opportunity to think about the evening ahead but when three o’clock came and it was time to pick up the children, seeing Glenn again was the thought uppermost in her mind…

He is here in Willowmere, she thought incredulously as she waited for them to come out of school. I can see The Pheasant from my bedroom window just five minutes’ walk away and I may as well enjoy the thought while it lasts, as nothing will have changed by the time he is ready to leave. I just can’t blight his life. He deserves better than I can give him.

When they arrived home Pollyanna and Jolyon played in the garden in the snow until the light faded and then she brought them in for a change of clothes and a warm drink, and all the time she was wishing that the hands of the clock would move faster.

She dressed with care for the evening ahead in the colours that suited her best. Dark green trousers and a short cream jacket with a long scarf to match showed off the red-gold of her hair and the beautiful hazel eyes that once had been clear and cloudless.